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9. 
MEM'OIRS 



OF THE 

# 



A 
LIFE AND RELMOUS EXPERIENCE 



l 



F 

SARtH TUCKER, 



A MINISTER OF THE SOCIETY OF FRIENDS. 



WRITTEN BY HERSELF. 






A meek and quiet spirit, is, in the sight of God of great price. 

1 Peter 3. 4. 



PROVIDENCE: 
MOORE & CHOATE, PRINTERS 

1848 






2 
14 














I 



w 



MEMOIRS, &c. 




I have often thought of committing to writing 
some account of the exercises which have attended 
me through this my earthly pilgrimage, but through 
weakness and the want of a faithful dedication of 
heart to my Divine Leader, and from an improper 
view of my situation with the various cares and 
domestic concerns attending it, I have endeavored 
to hold myself excused. But of late the subject 
has revived with a degree of weight, and with such 
clearness that I am convinced that by thus omitting 
to do the little required of me, a real loss has been 
sustained. I have therefore been made willing to 
pen whatever may arise with life and clearness : 
yet with no other view than for my own satisfac- 
tion, and perhaps the encouragement of my dear 
children when I am no more. 

I was born at Portsmouth, Rhode-Island, the 
14th day of the 2d month, 1779, of honest parents, 
whose names were Preserved and Sarah Fish, both 
of respectable family but neither of them in relig- 
ious profession with any denomination at that time. 
My mind was early, even in my very tender years 
impressed with a deep sense of good and evil, and 
f the reality of a future state in which mankind 

ould be rewarded according to their deeds ; and 



4 MEMOIRS OF 

when I thought thereon it often brought great sad- 
ness over me lest I should fail of obtaining the 
reward of the righteous. I greatly desired to be of 
that number^ and sometimes was enabled through 
the precious influence of divine love, the quick- 
ening power of divine grace, to cry unto the Lord 
for help so to live as that I might in no way offend 
Him. 

The visitations of heavenly kindness to my in- 
fant mind are still fresh in my memory — seasons in 
which the Lord was pleased immediately by the 
revelation of His dear Son, or the inward appear- 
ance of Jesus Christ in my heart to reprove for evil 
and to bring to judgment transgressing nature. 
Oh ! I remember to have been plunged into great 
sorrow and sore distress for yielding to the sugges- 
tions of the enemy, who would persuade me to 
think there was no harm in those childish sports 
and plays to which I was too much inclined, which 
was my trouble ; so that I have sought out secret 
places where unheard by mortal ear, I poured forth 
my cries unto my Heavenly Father, begging for- 
giveness and promising amendment of life. And 
thus, (after being so reduced and brought down as 
to think that bread and water would be all I could 
desire if I might but yet feel a token of His love 
towards me,) I have at seasons sought and found 
some ease of mind. Truly the remembrance of 
the Lord's merciful dealings with me in the days of 
my childhood are humbling to my mind, when in 
great kindness He was pleased to open and en- 
lighten my understanding in a manner clear and 
convincing, giving me to see the deceitfulness of 
sin, and what a course of vanity it would procure 
to me if I made choice of the wide gate and the 
broad way ; as also to believe that if I gave up in 
obedience to the teachings and leadings of this goo 



a 



SARAH TUCKER, 5 

Shepherd which I felt to be inwardly near unto 
me, a reprover for all evil, and a comforter for well 
doing, the blessing of peace, even that which the 
world with all its pleasures and foolish gratifica- 
tions can neither give nor take away, would be be- 
stowed upon me. Oh ! it was this that my soul 
panted after, to be at peace with my God, and for 
this, my cry was ardent unto my Heavenly Father 
that He would make me a true child of His. I 
sometimes desired that He would visit me with 
sickness, that I might as I then thought, have a 
better opportunity to acknowledge Him, for truly I 
loved the Lord and His righteousness, and thought 
I should be willing to depart this life, if I could 
but feel a certain evidence of an admittance into 
His holy kingdom of rest and peace. 

About this time I happened to be at the house of 
a neighbor who was one of the Society of Friends, 
where I chanced to see a volume of " Piety pro- 
moted," which I borrowed and read with great de- 
light. The impressions made on my mind by the 
reading of this valuable book were indeed lasting, 
they have been frequently brought to my remem- 
brance, even of later time with deep heartfelt thank- 
fulness ; and I have often wished that these excel- 
lent volumes were more read than I fear they are, 
by our young Friends of the present day, as I do 
believe they were blessed to me in my very young 
years. I have always esteemed this to be a pre- 
cious work, calculated to excite to holiness, meek- 
ness and love, and may I not say to all good 
works. I had not before this read much in Friends' 
books, except John Griffith's Journal, which was 
the only one owned by my dear father. This 
journal I read again and again, especially the 
fore part of it, which was then the better adap- 
ted to my understanding ; and was greatly strength- 
1* 



D MEMOIRS OF 

ened in my resolutions and desires after true peace 
thereby. 

I was much concerned at times on account of 
the prevalency of evil not only in myself, but also 
in others. I found in me two spirits, each striving 
for the ascendancy over me, the one good, the other 
evil ; the one if adhered to producing peace, the 
other anguish and distress of mind, and that when 
I would do good, evil was present with me. Great 
indeed were my exercises at this time, so that I 
went sorrowing on my way, imploring divine aid 
and protection, promising more care, and to amend 
my ways — but O how often did I fail of keeping 
my promise inviolate. Nevertheless, the Lord in 
his unmerited mercy still followed me with judg- 
ment, bringing distress upon me for evil ; so that 
again and again I have sought for mercy and for- 
giveness from Him whose mercies are new every 
morning. 

It is with feelings of humble, heartfelt thankful- 
ness that I attempt thus to acknowledge and to re- 
cord the tender mercies and gracious dealings of the 
Lord to me in my tender years, for I believe I could 
not have been older than nine or ten when those 
heavy exercises were so mightily upon me, which 
lasted for several years, although none knew of them 
but the Lord alone, for in those days I had none to 
open my heart unto; and my conceptions of the 
different religious sects were very childlike and 
simple. My father always preferred Friends, but 
my mother inclined to follow the Baptists — so that 
I sometimes was much troubled to know which of 
the twain to look to ; for I was unwilling to think 
otherwise than that both were right — however, 
there was no Baptist meeting settled at that time 
in the town, neither had I the opportunity of 
going to Friends meetings much at that age. . 



SARAH TUCKER. 7 

When I have taken a retrospective view of the 
great exercises which I passed through at that early 
period of my life, it has been the more remarkable 
to me as no outward circumstance had occurred to 
excite so great concern, and I fully believe that it 
was the immediate powerful operation of divine 
grace in my heart, convincing me of sin and warn- 
ing of the dreadful consequences thereof. I some- 
times feared my transgressions were so great that 
I should never find forgiveness, and that if I should 
die I could not have an admittance into the abodes 
of blessedness and peace. I often retired alone 
with the bible in which I read much, both in the 
old and new testament, and was frequently much 
broken and contrited therewith. The account of 
the birth, life, sufferings and cruel death of our 
blessed Lord and Saviour affected me much, so that 
I have often wept when reading it, feeling much 
sorrow and regret that I had not lived at that time 
that I might have been His true disciple and have 
followed Him even unto death. It grieved me ex- 
ceedingly that the Jews, God's chosen and peculiar 
people were so hard-hearted and unbelieving ; ah ! 
truly, He came unto his own but they received 
Him not. But alas ! how have I seen in these lat- 
ter days the prevalency of the spirit of unbelief, 
which has gone forth and would feign overspread 
Christendom, despising and rejecting the holy life 
and sufferings of our blessed Redeemer ; yea, even 
that dare to deny and trample under foot the Son 
of God, counting the blood of the everlasting cov- 
enant of life and salvation an unholy thing. Oh, 
what will the end of all such be ! 

The reading of the holy scriptures had a good 
effect on my tender mind. I read with great ad- 
miration the account of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and 
Joseph, how wonderfully they were preserved out 



8 MEMOIRS OF 

of fears, harms, snares and temptations, with many- 
others whose histories are recorded in holy writ ; 
which much strengthened me to trust in the Lord 
and to persevere in the right way. Oh, my heart's 
desire and prayer is, that our dear youth may be 
encouraged and become more and more willing to 
read those sacred and inspired writings instead of 
letting out the mind after vain and unprofitable 
publications, which but tend to vitiate the morals 
and alienate from the holy cross of Christ; for I 
can freely and fully testify that they are a precious 
treasure to store the youthful mind withal, and are 
indeed able to make wise unto salvation through 
faith in Christ Jesus. 

I had committed to memory that most excellent 
prayer which our Lord taught his disciples, and 
sometimes when alone I have reverently kneeled 
down and with contrited feelings repeated it ; but 
I did not then understand how acceptable prayers 
were to be offered up, nor yet that my heart was 
often secretly engaged in supplication, imploring 
divine help and protection. I often felt much con- 
cern for my dear brothers and sisters who knew 
nothing of my inward exercises, (for I had not 
spoken of them to any one, but my dear father 
noticed my great attention to reading the bible, and 
queried if I designed to get it by heart,) and I 
thought I must warn them of the danger of doing 
any wrong thing, supposing they did not feel as I 
then did, or know of that which was so clearly 
manifested unto me. Feeling one day a great 
weight on my spirit, I took two of my sisters a lit- 
tle younger than myself and retired into the orchard, 
where seating ourselves on the grass, (it being warm 
weather,) I proceeded in the best manner I was 
capable of, to inform them of what I feared they 
were ignorant — I told them that we were all born 



SARAH TUCKER. 9 

to die, that our bodies would return to dust, but 
that our souls would never die, but live forever 
either in happiness or misery, that if we did no 
wicked thing we should be happy with God after 
death, but if we committed wickedness we must 
be miserable with the wicked one who would for- 
ever torment us. They listened with attention ; I 
expressed my desire that we might be favored to 
be of the happy number of those who find a place 
of peace when they go hence. This circumstance 
is often fresh with me, and I now feel that it may 
be safe for me to record it. 

I often believed that if I lived to woman's estate 
I should be a preacher of righteousness — -I clearly 
saw when quite young that if I was faithful I must 
go forth and declare the goodness of the Lord our 
God unto the people. Yet notwithstanding those 
merciful visitations, so prone to evil is the human 
heart, that for a great length of time before I did 
actually engage in this important work, I quite lost 
sight of this precious prospect and let out my mind 
after vanity and youthful indulgences; yet blessed 
be the Rock of my salvation, He did not forget me, 
but in great mercy continued His visitations of di- 
vine love from time to time upon my mind. I be- 
gan however to take much delight in young com- 
pany, in jesting and vain conversation which often 
produced great sorrow and distress of heart, yet 
through the tender mercy of a gracious God I was 
preserved from any thing accounted immoral or 
base in the sight of men, for which I have often 
been bowed in reverent thankfulness to Him who 
alone was my preserver. 

I had arrived at my sixteenth year, and was ea- 
gerly pursuing my course of vanity, when the 
Methodists had first came to Rhode-Island and had 
many meetings — and a great flocking there was to 



10 MEMOIRS OF 

them, and I among the rest. Their zealous preach- 
ing awakened afresh in my mind the sense of my 
undone condition, without speedy repentance and 
reconciliation unto God, whom I had so greatly of- 
fended. I steadily attended those meetings and 
truly thought them a favored people — the most so 
of any I at that time had any knowledge of, and 
under those impressions and quickened feelings I 
renewed my covenant with my Maker, promised 
obedience to His will and solemnly engaged to live 
a more holy and devoted life. I had serious thoughts 
of uniting myself to them in religious communion, 
and was rather urged thereto by some of their mem- 
bers. There appeared nothing that I then knew 
of in their ways for me to object to, having become 
so fully reconciled to water baptism as to assent to 
it, and even assert it to be an ordinance of Christ, 
and practiced by his disciples, and so of course, 
consistent ; and to those who so believe, essential. 
I believe, and have no doubt but I should have 
joined with them had not my dear father interfered. 
He was one that had been convinced of the efficacy 
of the inward principle of divine light and grace 
in the heart in his younger years, but had been 
unfaithful — howbeit, he was favored in the decline 
of life, with strength to embrace and openly to 
make profession of the blessed Truth, and united 
himself to Friends. He took an'opportunity with 
me and expressed his concern lest I might be mis- 
taken, and being young might be drawn out into 
the performance of such things as would hereafter 
bring a burthen upon me — adding, it was a great 
matter and should be duly considered, that my de- 
pendence must be on the arm of divine power, and 
not on an arm of flesh ; — and in short manifested 
his entire disapprobation ; the substance of which 
he at several times repeated to me. This was a 





SARAH TUCKER. 11 

check to my intentions, and it went hard with me 
for a time to be opposed in, as I then thought, so 
good a work. The result however, was that it re- 
strained me from taking one step therein, for al- 
though I had a great desire to sit in their class 
meetings, I never could feel easy to do so against 
my dear father's will and judgment. 

I mention this to show how great is the reach 
which I believe a well concerned parent's advice 
may have on theijf tender offspring ; for I do believe 
it was from a right concern in my dear father ; — 
there was evidently that in it which I could not 
counteract. I hope those into whose hands this 
may fall, may faithfully attend to the pointings of 
divine Truth, and timely remonstrate and plead 
with their children, when sensible they are about 
[(■kke an unadvised step, especially in matters of 
so Breat consequence. For truly I have had abun- 
i.lanl cause to be humbly thankful to the author of 
a! wood for this, as well as for many other preser- 
vapons, having since been favored through the 
kindness of the everlasting Shepherd of Israel, the 
glorious arising of the bright and morning star, to 
see the emptiness of all outward performances and 
ceremonies, and of placing any dependence on any 
thing that is but a shadow or type of that which 
is inward and spiritual, believing that all shadows, 
types and ceremonies have long since done their 
office, being ended in Christ Jesus our great Anti- 
type, and were only designed to point us to that 
which is permanent and of eternal duration ; hav- 
ing felt the necessity of submitting to that baptism 
which is of the Holy Ghost, and operates as a fire 
in the hearts of the ungodly in order to consume 
all evil, and to cleanse from all unrighteousness. 

This, I believe, is the one saving baptism, even 
that which John the Baptist, the forerunner of the 



12 MEMOIRS OF 

Messiah pointed to, when he said, " I indeed bap- 
tize you with water unto repentance : but He that 
cometh after me is mightier than I whose shoes I 
am not worthy to bear. He shall baptize you with 
the Holy Ghost and with fire, whose fan is in his 
hand, and He will thoroughly purge his floor and 
gather his wheat into his garner, but he will burn 
up the chaff with unquenchable fire." And without 
a surrendering of our hearts unto this baptizing, 
purifying power of the Holy Ghost, I believe, 
however great our pretensions to religion may be, 
we can never know a being redeemed out of our 
fallen and degenerate state. Ah ! how have I felt 
the fire of the Lord to burn as an oven in my heart 
against sin and transgression — but blessed be His 
holy name, the bruised reed He will not break nor 
quench the smoking flax until he send forth j 1 
ment unto victory. 

A short time after this 1 went to Little Com 
to live with an aunt, my father's sister, who wj 
Friend by profession, and I believe a pious wori^n. 
And now my religious exercises began to wear on, 
and youthful company was again my delight, I lost 
my zeal for God, and my covenant was again bro- 
ken, which clearly evinced it to have been made 
too much in my own strength and wisdom. After 
remaining with my aunt six months I returned to 
my father's at Portsmouth, and finding no relish for 
any thing of a religious nature, I gratified my in- 
clination in vanity and levity to a greater degree 
than I had ever before done ; yet through infinite 
mercy I was still preserved out of base and vile 
company and conduct, which even at that critical 
period of my life my very soul utterly abhorred 
and disdained ; but in laughter and lightness,, Ibe- 
lieve few of my companions exceeded me. Yet, 
notwithstanding my condition was thus deplorable, 






z nor 

:: 

vas.a 



SARAH TUCKER. 13 

the Lord in his tender mercy did not utterly forsake 
me, but did often break in upon me and disturb my 
peace, reproving and bringing me under condem- 
nation, so that at some seasons I was made to drink 
deep of the bitter waters of shame and confusion, 
so that when I have laid my head on the pillow, 
I have greatly feared that I should die, and that 
everlasting misery would be my portion, at which 
times I have not dared to look up for support to Him 
whom I had so greatly offended, and after bemoaning 
my condition have endeavored to appease myself 
with the resolution that if I was spared through the 
night I would try to amend my ways and my doings, 
and would shun vain company — when perhaps the 
very next day a fresh temptation would assail and 
prove too strong for me ; having no might or strength 
of my own to resist it. Thus I spent two years more 
of my precious time, bestowed upon me for afar more 
noble and dignified purpose, even the working out 
the salvation of my poor soul. But all this time 
I have great cause to believe that the watchful eye 
of a kind Providence was upon me for good. Oh 
I can never sufficiently adore his goodness and ten- 
der mercy in leading my soul to unfeigned repent- 
ance for past sins, and in opening my understand- 
ing to see that there must be a forsaking the evil, 
before we can learn to do well. 

I now began to grow weary of my course of folly, 
yet knew not how to break off,- and feeling a strong 
inclination to return to my before mentioned aunt I 
did so about the 19th year of my age. In this fam- 
ily I was more secluded from young company and 
had frequent opportunity of attending Friends meet- 
ings, which I had seldom done when at home in 
my father's family ; yet the enemy would often as- 
sault me, tempting to the indulgence of youthful 
gratifications in vanity and levity, at which I was 
% 



14 MEMOIRS OF 

often troubled ; but whilst here my mind became im- 
pressed with seriousness and deep thoughtfulness ; 
I read Friends writings, both ancient and those of 
later date, which strengthened and confirmed my 
mind in what I felt and believed respecting the in- 
ward and saving principle of divine light and grace, 
that it was the promised Comforter, the reprover 
and just Judge; that it was the second appearance 
of Jesus Christ who reproved all sin, condemned 
every evil thought, word and action ; but was a 
comforter and consoler of the poor in spirit, satis- 
fying and strengthening, feeding and clothing the 
mind truly sensible of its own wretched, blind, 
miserable and weak destitute condition, its utter 
incapacity of doing any good thing without this 
holy Helper and divine Instructor. I had never- 
theless many trials and deep exercises to pass 
through — some close conflicts arising from known 
duty and the creaturely inclinations. I found it 
hard work to come under the power of the cross — 
to be crucified to the world and the love thereof, 
and become willing to appear as a fool ; — yet I 
clearly saw that there was no other way to find true 
peace and rest to my poor soul but by coming to 
Christ Jesus our holy Redeemer and mediator be- 
tween God and erring mortals, and submitting to 
his yoke and discipline ; and as I was preserved low 
and humble, endeavoring to keep a single eye unto 
God, who knew the sincerity of my heart, He was 
pleased to make way for me in one thing after 
another, to my great wonder, and T found that I 
had much to unlearn as well as much to learn ; 
finding a care on my spirit to watch my words 
and ways, which brought the answer of peace. 

It has oft times been marvellous to me when I 
have recurred to those seasons of my first espou- 
sals, that the use of the plain language should have 



SARAH TUCKER. 15 

been such an heavy cross to me, when I knew it 
was the language used in Scripture, and most pro- 
per ; yet when it pleased the Lord to require it of 
me, it seemed as though I never could conform 
to it, I said, anything Lord but this, even my 
natural life if thou demands it. Oh ! this was a 
pinching time, the grand adversary suggesting that 
if I began I should never hold out, and so bring re- 
proach upon the blessed cause of Truth. The ne- 
cessity I felt to be faithful was great, but how to 
perform I knew not. But He who is rich in mer- 
cy and who had begun the work did not leave me 
in this season of deep conflict, but enabled me in 
his own time to yield obedience in this, which 
afforded true satisfaction of heart. I also found a 
necessity upon me to show forth by my outward 
appearance that I was endeavoring to follow a meek, 
lowly and crucified Saviour in the path of self-de- 
nial and the daily cross. I have often viewed with 
astonishment many who have been privileged with 
a birthright in our society, when I have heard 
them plead for liberty in those things which we as 
a people are called out from, and have a testimony 
against, saying there is no harm in this or that, it 
is a trifle, religion consists not in such trifles — but 
I believe it is all to gratify and please a carnal mind. 
Ah, surely such have never known a coming under 
the sanctifying power of our Lord and Saviour Jesus 
Christ, which alone can redeem the soul out of the 
pit of pollution — have never yielded obedience to 
the divine call to come out and be separate, and 
touch no unclean thing. Are not these in danger of 
being found amongst those who are trampling under 
foot the blessed invitations of the Gospel of our Lord 
and Saviour Jesus Christ, as well as these precious 
testimonies given us to support ; testimonies for 
which our worthy predecessors suffered greatly. 



16 MEMOIRS OF 

I am abundantly persuaded that that pure, holy 
and divine principle of light, truth and grace, which 
at the first gathered our worthy forefathers out of 
the forms, fashions, customs and manners of the 
world, to be a people to his own praise and glory, 
is still the same in all who turn to it, and receive it 
in the love of it ; and that it would lead all who are 
rightly convinced and are faithful in obeying its 
teachings, into the same path our ancestors were 
guided into, for with the Truth there is no variable- 
ness, neither shadow of turning. 

I now began to attend meetings pretty constant- 
ly and to be more and more in Friends company, 
and felt my love to them increase ; and their ways 
which had appeared rather uncouth, were now 
pleasant and even desirable. And now believing 
it right I made application to the Monthly meeting 
of Westport, Massachusetts for admittance into 
membership, and after due waiting was received a 
member of the Society of Friends, being entered 
my 21st year. 

Soon after I had united myself to Friends, I re- 
turned to Rhode-Island to live in my father's fami- 
ly. This circumstance brought a fresh trial and 
exercise upon me, being now much in the way of 
seeing my former companions in vanity and folly, 
I was thoughtful how I should be able to with- 
stand temptation, or so to keep my place as to be 
preserved from bringing any reproach on the truth, 
which I greatly desired to do ; and in order to do 
this it appeared safest for me to keep mostly retir- 
ed from such company as would have a tendency 
to draw me away. I visited but few in those days 
and such as I deemed religious, spending my leisure 
hours in reading and retirement. I chiefly read the 
holy Scriptures, but some in other religious books, 
and many valuable pieces I transcribed from differ- 



SARAH TUCKER. 17 

ent authors which not only improved my mind but 
my writing also ; and believe that through the 
watchful care of an allwise Providence my keeping 
thus retired from vain company in my infant state 
of religious experience, was truly favorable to a 
growth therein. I took great satisfaction in the at- 
tendance of religious meetings, and in the company 
of faithful Friends. 

But many were the trials and exercises of that 
day ; some bitter cups I had to partake of, some 
deeply proving seasons to pass through, the extent 
of which was unknown to any but the Lord alone ; 
and to Him did I pour out my complaint, in the an- 
guish of my soul as into the bosom of a faithful 
friend, and sometimes received encouragement to 
forget those things which are behind, both inward 
conflicts and outward trials, — to press forward 
through all toward the mark for the prize of the 
high calling of God in Christ Jesus, and thus 
strengthened I have gone on my way rejoicing for 
a season. At times I was much beset by the old 
accuser of the brethren, who accused me of being 
a deceiver and endeavored to make me believe that 
I was deluded and should one day fall, and then it 
would be proved. Oh most fervently did I cry un- 
to Him who knoweth the secrets of all hearts to 
make me just what He would have me to be. 
Thus I passed on under many trials and straits, feel- 
ing my faith at times reduced to a very small grain, 
and again to be revived through the blessed hope 
of the Gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, 
for which blessed hope's sake I was made willing to 
suffer, and to endure tribulation. 

A prospect which I was favored with in my very 
young years, of being called to the work of the 
ministry, was now revived on my mind, but with 
very different sensations, for I then thought that if 

2* 



18 MEMOIRS OF 

the Lord would but prepare me for the work, I 
should not be afraid to go forth and call upon the 
wicked everywhere to return, repent and live. 
But sorrowful as it may be, through a long course 
of vanity this once animating prospect had been 
quite lost sight of, and I now had many doubts 
and reasonings on the subject, fearing to yield to 
the requisition, lest I should bring reproach on the 
truth; for truly I thought, none ever engaged in 
this great work that was more unworthy. At 
other times the evidence was clear, and when I 
have sat in meetings, Scripture passages have been 
presented to my mind with a lively opening and 
spring of feeling to stand up, when instead of 
yielding simple obedience thereto, I have sat under 
the exercise until I have been brought to tremble 
to that degree, that the form whereon I sat would 
shake ; and by letting in the reasoner all hath van- 
ished, leaving my mind poor, dark and distressed ; 
nevertheless in adorable mercy the Lord still fol- 
lowed and plead with me both immediately and in- 
strumentally. Some valuable Friends about this 
time visiting our meeting were led to speak with 
precision to my condition, which in some good de- 
gree confirmed and strengthened my mind ,• and I 
often sat in meetings under great bowedness and 
contrition of spirit. At length I was enabled through 
holy help to yield to this requisition and appeared 
in a few words at our week-day meeting at Ports- 
mouth, R. I. (being as I remember in the 24th year 
of my age) for which act of obedience I felt the 
reward of sweet peace. After this I did not appear 
in this way often, and when I did it was mostly in 
a few words which generally brought the reward 
of peace, and I did not discover but that Friends 
were satisfied with my weak and low appearances. 
But here I may acknowledge a weakness, one 



SARAH TUCKER. 19 

which I fear is too apt to prevail in young min- 
isters to their wounding, more especially in their 
first setting out in this important work. I greatly 
desired to he preserved from bringing any dishonor 
on the Truth, and from being in any degree burden- 
some to Friends, so that I felt great care that what 
I delivered might be sound and consistent in every 
sense of the word ; indeed I was too careful in this 
respect, as though the key of David was not suf- 
ficient and wholly to be relied on for strength and 
ability, mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance. 
Oh ! to His own eternal praise be this reliance for- 
ever acknowledged by all his true ministers, and 
may all beware of this artifice of the wicked one. 
Oh ! this was too much my fear, a slavish fear in- 
deed, which I was afterwards favored to see was an 
error, and had its origin in that which is of the 
creature, and which I found was appointed for the 
sword ; for in this way there can be no right pro- 
gress witnessed. I found from experience, that no 
human strength nor ability must be depended on 
in performing the Lord's work, but an entire depen- 
dence witnessed on the everlasting arm of divine 
power, with whom alone are hid all the treasures 
of wisdom and knowledge, and when He openeth 
none can shut, and when He shutteth none can open. 
Man may from the strength of reason and acquired 
knowledge, and by the help of memory, make 
something appear that may by the unlearned in 
the school of Christ, be taken and passed for the 
pure gold, but to those who are circumcised by the 
power of Truth in heart and ear, it will be plain 
from what root it springs ; and I am abundantly 
persuaded that no such offering, however it may be 
glossed and embellished by human contrivance, 
will ever find acceptance with the Father of 
spirits ; — but such sacrifices as are of His own 



20 MEMOIRS OF 

preparing, He will be pleased graciously to own 
and to bless with the enriching reward of peace, 
however small, weak and low, they may appear in 
the view of the wise of this world. 

I had many close trials and deep baptisms to pass 
through ; the enemy of all good did most severely 
buffet and beset me, tempting me to believe that 
I was mistaken in apprehending myself called to 
the work of the ministry, that I should never ad- 
vance therein to the honor of truth — that I must 
one day acknowledge this to Friends with shame 
and confusion, and the sooner I did this the better 
it would be for me ; and so powerful hath this 
temptation been upon me at times, that I have 
been ready to conclude to open my mind to Friends 
on the subject, but could never feel quite ready. I 
fervently desired of the Lord, that if I was in an error 
He would be mercifully pleased to show it me. I 
felt willing to suffer shame if Truth might be clear- 
ed ; and in this tossed tried state of mind I think I 
did not appear in the ministry in public meetings 
for nearly a year. I knew not what Friends 
thought of me, but conjectured that some thought 
I had given way to unprofitable discouragements 
(which was the case) — they were generally pru- 
dent in their conduct towards me, and so long as 
they did not discourage my appearances I consid- 
ered that I had their countenance, and this I be- 
lieve is encouragement enough. Oh, it is good for 
us to feel our own standing, taking heed to our own 
ways, not trusting to outward dependencies which 
may fail us in the most needful time ; but keep- 
ing a single eye to the honor and glory of our holy 
Head, not looking nor seeking after that which is 
of man, we shall know an increase in that which 
will be owned by the faithful everywhere. 

But the Lord in his adorable love and mercy 



SARAH TUCKER. 21 

arose when He saw that it was enough, and scattered 
my soul's enemies, renewing His covenant of life 
and peace in my heart ; the clouds were dispelled 
and the sun shone again with clearness, and I now 
frequently appeared in our meetings ; and after 
Friends had waited for full satisfaction they ac- 
knowledged me as a minister in unity. 

The following I find amongst my papers written 
about the time of these exercises. 

1803. 11th Mo. 30th. " Oh Thou who art the 
infinite source and fountain of all our sure mercies, 
be pleased once more to forgive my rebellious heart, 
once more prove me by thy kindness, and through 
thy blessed assistance I will surrender myself up 
to thee, yet I pray thee let not thine eye pity, nei- 
ther let thine hand spare, until all that appertains to 
self is slain upon thy holy cross. Oh strengthen 
me to resist the tempter, defeat O Lord his wicked 
purposes and frustrate them, and if consistent with 
thy blessed will, quicken me again and again to de- 
scend oftener than the morning to the washing pool 
that I may wash my hands in innocency. Then 
will I speak of thy goodness and of thy loving 
kindness even in the midst of the congregation of 
thy people. Oh let me experience the live coal 
taken from thine holy altar laid on my lips, and feel 
the evidence that God will provide himself an 
offering." 

But through all, I endeavored to keep humble 
and near to the great Shepherd of Israel, who mer- 
cifully condescended to preserve me through many 
sore conflicts and painful baptisms, although I 
might oft times have adopted the language of 
David and said, my foot had well nigh slipped, but 
the Lord was my stay and prevented my fall, adored 
be his blessed and worthy Name forever. 



22 MEMOIRS OF 

IS09. 2d. mo. Having of late great and renewed 
cause to reflect on the uncertainty of time, and 
feeling most sensibly the awful necessity of being 
in a state of preparation to meet the God of heaven 
and earth, I most devoutly crave of Almighty good- 
ness, preservation from every thing that would in 
any degree divert my mind from its great busi- 
ness — that which I feel to be all important, even 
the salvation of my immortal soul. O, kind and 
compassionate Father, be pleased to keep me from 
all evil — grant that it may become my meat and 
my drink to do thy holy will, be thou near in 
the hour of distress, my support, my refuge, my 
God and my alone defence. Oh dearest Father, 
in the extendings of thy love and thy mercy, 
remember and regard the whole bulk of man- 
kind, even those who are most remote from thy 
Truth and thy holy fear. Oh gather unto thy 
sacred fold sons and daughters as from the North 
and from the South- — let not the workmanship of 
thy holy hand perish, but bring all unto an ac- 
quaintance with thee, and into the saving know- 
ledge of thy Truth. Oh remember the nations con- 
tending with each other, who are stainifrg the earth 
with their blood, and sheath the sword that is 
drawn to devour. Say to the destroying angel, 
it is enough. Hasten, O gracious Redeemer, the 
happy day when thy blessed will shall be accom- 
plished, and thy kingdom of peace and righteous- 
ness shall come on earth even as in heaven. In 
thine own time, Oh Lord, hasten thy work ; thy 
will Oh Father alone be done. 

Third mo. 26th. I desire truly to thank thee, O 
blessed Lord, that thou hast caused me to know, 
that true consolation is only to be derived from an 
entire surrender of our wills, to thy divine and holy 
will in all things. 



SARAH TUCKER. 23 

[In the year 1810, with the concurrence of 
Friends, she accompanied Ann Smith, a minister of 
her own Quarterly meeting on a religious visit 
to some of the meetings within the limits of New 
York, Philadelphia and Baltimore Yearly meetings, 
from which she returned as appears with the reward 
of peace ; though after reaching the eastern shore of 
Maryland, she was prevented by sickness from pros- 
ecuting the journey further, but was enabled to re- 
turn to Philadelphia, and in that city and neighbor- 
hood remained in a feeble state until the return of 
her companion.] 

In reference to her situation there she says, " I 
was favored to be with kind friends and good care- 
takers, to many of whom I felt nearly united, who, 
were made truly to sympathize with me in this my 
lonely and solitary situation, and although my lit- 
tle faith seemed reduced to a small grain, yet I was 
strengthened to believe that I was not wholly for- 
saken of my heavenly Father, who best knew what 
was best for me." 

[After her notice of this journey, some of the de- 
tails of which are omitted for the sake of brevity, 
she proceeds as follows :] 

After my return from the abcfve mentioned visit 
I kept steadily to meetings as they came in course, 
and was favored at times to partake of that divine 
refreshment which our heavenly Father is at sea- 
sons mercifully pleased to afford to all His rightly 
depending children, who cannot be satisfied with 
anything short of heavenly bread — that which 
alone can nourish the soul up unto everlasting life. 

My mind was however often clothed with pover- 
ty and inward leanness, and some close exercises 
and trials were attendant, arising both from within 
and without ; the enemy of all good grievously 
besetting me, and seeking to overthrow my faith. 



24 MEMOIRS OF 

But through the merciful interposition of a blessed 
Redeemer, an holy advocate with the Father, he 
was resisted and put to flight — praised and magni- 
fied be the Lord's holy name and power, now and 
for evermore ; amen, amen. 

1813. This year in the fifth month I was mar- 
ried to James Tucker, a worthy Friend and elder, 
belonging to Dartmouth Monthly Meeting. 

I had previous to my marriage felt my mind 
drawn to visit the Quarterly Meetings of Salem, Yas- 
salborough and Sandwich, and apprehending the 
time had come to accomplish it, 1 left home. in the 
eighth month following, having the unity and con- 
currence of our (Rhode Island) Monthly Meeting; 
in company with Ann Smith, with whom I had for- 
merly travelled as companion, she having a similar 
prospect. We visited Salem and Vassalborough 
Quarterly meetings, taking meetings on our way 
thither, as we did in returning to Sandwich Quar- 
ter, which we also attended ; from thence I returned 
home with my dear husband, who met me at that 
place, and was favored to find our family and friends 
well, which was cause of gratitude to the author 
of every blessing. 

Although I was frequently in this journey tried 
with poverty of spirit, and suffered much from in- 
disposition of body, yet, nevertheless it pleased 
Almighty goodness at some meetings which we at- 
tended to manifest Himself to be near in opening the 
way for some relief to my exercised mind, although 
mostly in a few words, for I was fearful of exceed- 
ing the bounds of truth's requirings, in uttering 
words without life, dreading much to be numbered 
with those who for so doing shall have to lie down 
in sorrow. I was thankful that I was made willing 
to go on this journey. Oh may none despise the 



SARAH TUCKER. 25 

day of small things, for surely if we overlook and 
despise the day of small things, we shall never be 
entitled to more. This I have seen, I have felt 
and experienced it to be a truth ; but be thou faithful 
in the little and thou shalt be made ruler over more. 
Soon after my return I removed to Dartmouth, 
and settled to house-keeping with my dear husband 
and his children ; when I was soon overtaken with 
unexpected trials and deep baptisms, being plunged 
into the very depths of distress both as to my out- 
ward and inward condition. I was for six or seven 
years successively, visited with sickness by which I 
was often confined to my room and bed for weeks 
and months, and almost may I not say for years : not 
being able to go out sometimes more than twice or 
thrice in the course of a year, reduced at times 
as it were to the very brink of the grave, and in 
these trying moments my mind was often stripped 
and divested of all true consolation, resembling a 
barren and fruitless waste. I was tempted to be- 
lieve that surely I had never known the blessed 
truth as it is in Jesus — that I was deceived, and 
had deceived others in pretending to know some- 
thing of its purifying, redeeming power, to cleanse 
and redeem my soul in measure from under the 
yoke of sin and power of Satan ; for I could scarcely 
believe that anyone who had sincerely endeavored 
to love, serve and fear the Lord, would in the hour 
of suffering and tribulation be thus left as [ feared 
I was, a prey to the grand enemy of man's salva- 
vation. In this situation my soul refused all con- 
solation which might possibly have any tincture of 
the creature with it, but was at seasons, through 
adorable mercy able to breathe out the language, 
Oh ! that my life, the life of my soul may be given 
me for a prey, whatever my afflictions and trials 
may be. 

3 



26 MEMOIRS OF 

Many valuable Friends visited me in this season 
of sifting and winnowing, who would frequently- 
express their belief that all would work together 
for good ; that the divine arm of power was under- 
neath, and would preserve through all, and yet 
bring my feet out of the mire, and establish them 
on the sure Rock ; that the Lord would in His own 
time renewedly anoint me for His own work — that 
those deeply proving dispensations were not so 
much to correct for past omissions, as to prepare 
for greater and more extensive usefulness in His 
Church. But Oh ! I could not see nor receive it 
at that time ; the anguish of my heart being great, 
too great to be described by tongue or pen. Those 
only who have been thus deserted, or have felt 
themselves to be so, under such heart-rending sor- 
rows, can realize my sufferings ; for although I had 
every outward comfort and accommodation that 
heart could wish, being blessed of the Lord with 
a kind and tender companion and affectionate chil- 
dren, yet all could not alleviate my distress. It 
was the Beloved of souls that I panted after, even 
as the heart panteth after the water brooks. But 
alas! I could not find Him whom my soul loved, 
for a long time. Thus I passed several years, being 
but a few times able to attend meetings, and when 
I did attendj Oh ! the dryness and barrenness which 
I felt. How sincerely did I lament and bemoan my 
sad condition — how did I labor after patience and 
resignation, yet am sorrowfully sensible that I did 
not always abide therein — and Oh! when I felt 
that I had given way in the least to the tempter, 
how would my troubles be augmented. These 
were indeed days wherein my cup was made 
a cup of wormwood and gall; my soul hath them 
still in remembrance, and is humbled within 
me. 



SARAH TUCKER. 27 

The following was written at intervals during 
my long state of weakness. 

1814. Fifth mo. 4th " What I say unto you, 
I say unto all, watch, " I feel the necessity of 
attending to this important injunction, which was 
pressingly enjoined by best wisdom, and in best 
authority ; believing it to be the only place of safety 
and refuge from the wiles and snares of an unwea- 
ried enemy, and the temptations of a delusive world. 
Many are the testimonies recorded in the sacred 
writings, of the immovableness of those who have 
persevered in this duty, trusting at all times in the 
arm of omnipotence, having their eye single to the 
glory of God. These as they have abode in their 
tents and dwelt on the watch tower, have been en- 
abled through faith in the mighty Jehovah, not 
only to meet the cross occurrences of life with 
tranquillity of mind, but even to put to flight whole 
armies ; yea, their most potent enemies ; these not 
being able to stand before them, or to deter them 
from still cleaving to their strong Rock and tower 
of safety. 

Be pleased most gracious Father to strengthen 
my poor soul, as with might in the inner man, that 
under a renewed sense of the great need of daily 
waiting upon thee for fresh supplies of help and 
strength, I may be quickened and aroused to pray 
as it were without ceasing, and instead of repining 
at these proving dispensations, come more and more 
to witness a preparation of heart to return unto 
thee thanksgiving and praise for the reaching forth 
of thy rod, as well as thy staff. Oh ! for this watch- 
ful prayerful state. Enable me, oh righteous Fa- 
ther, to abide herein where no harm can approach 
me. Oh happy experience ! Oh blessed attainment ! 
geek after it oh my soul in the name of Israel's 



28 MEMOIRS OF 

God ; yea. press after it more than for hidden trea- 
sure. 

1815. Ninth mo. 3d. Oh ! Lord thou alone 
art fully acquainted with my many weaknesses and 
infirmities, and thou only it is that can strengthen 
and enable me to press onward through all and 
every besetment, until by thy sanctifying power I 
am prepared to sit under the shadow of thy holy 
wing, to know thy love and divine mercy spread 
over and round about, that none may be able to 
make me afraid ; so that although afflictions may 
abound both on the right hand and on the left, my 
mind, inwardly stayed and supported by thy all 
sustaining presence, may witness safety and pres- 
ervation. O grant me humble resignation to every 
of thy all wise allotments, and wilt thou Oh Lord, 
thoroughly purge the floor of my heart, that my 
soul may be purified and cleansed, fit to be received 
into thy heavenly garner. 

1819. Seventh mo. 7th. To day I went to 
our week-day meeting, not having been able for 
nearly a year past to get to one on account of bodily 
indisposition. It was truly grateful to meet once 
more with my dear friends, although under a feel- 
ing sense of much strippedness and poverty. 

The same day after my return from meeting I 
received intelligence of the decease of a beloved 
sister on Rhode-Island, desiring my attendance if 
able, and I being a little recruited from my very 
low estate concluded to go. Accordingly I left 
home the next day, under a great weight of inward 
exercise and outward weakness, my dear husband 
accompaying me in order to attend her funeral ; 
but the undertaking proved too much for my weak 
state of health ; being taken unwell on the road 



SARAH TUCKER. 29 

was obliged to stop at the first house, which proved 
to be but poorly fitted for my condition, though I 
believe I felt as thankful as I could have done in 
the more splendid apartments of the rich, for it 
mattered little with me at that time, when I lay me 
down on the bed almost exhausted and spent, and 
for sometime doubted whether I should not finish 
my life in that place ; but through the interposition 
of Almighty goodness who hath His way in the 
thick cloud and in the storm, my spirit so revived 
that I was enabled before night to reach my dear 
brother's, but was not able to attend the funeral next 
day, being very feeble. My husband concluded to 
leave me there and return to our family. Only a 
day or two elapsed before I was taken very ill, and 
sent for him to return. My life was for a time des- 
paired of, and now it was that there seemed to be 
a general breaking up of all things, not only the 
earth, but the heavens also were shaken, yea, the 
foundations of the mighty deep were discovered : 
and I saw that all must be surrendered — even that 
life itself must not be held dear, but all must give 
way when He, the Lord of life and glory comes to 
rule and reign in our hearts. I saw that I had been 
unfaithful, and had not unflinchingly borne the 
cross, despising the shame; but had too much shrunk 
from being accounted a fool for Christ Jesus sake, 
and the Gospel's ; at which my soul was struck 
with amazement and self-abhorrence, yet was suf- 
fered to look for mercy to the God and Father of 
all our sure mercies, trusting only in Him, the sure 
hope and Redeemer of His people, to whom I could 
appeal that He knew the sincerity of my endeavors 
to serve Him, although I had often disobeyed and 
swerved from His holy law and commands. A be- 
nignant beam of divine and heavenly light now 

encircled my soul, and warmed my heart with 
3# 



30 MEMOIRS OF 

Gospel love, in which my mind was drawn forth 
mentally to visit many places, families, and indi- 
viduals in the constraining power thereof; whereby 
faith sprang up, and hope revived, in a firm belief 
that I must yet more fully and faithfully declare to 
others, what the Lord hath done for my poor soul ; 
which has since been abundantly verified — may 
all blessing, glory, honor and power be ascribed 
unto the Lord God and the Lamb forever, and 
forever more. It was five months before I was 
able to return to my precious family, which was a 
sore trial, but believe it was submitted to with a 
good degree of patience and resignation, for which 
favor I bless the Lord. 

I returned in the twelfth month, to the mutual joy 
and rejoicing of us all, with I trust, heartfelt gratitude 
and thankfulness to the Lord, for His abundant 
mercy vouchsafed unto me, a poor worm of the 
dust. My heart bowed in reverent acknowledg- 
ment of His goodness, and could livingly sins His 
praise, saying, "Great and marvellous are thy works, 
Lord God Almighty, just and true are thy ways, 
thou King of saints.' 7 

A short time previous to my sickness at Rhode- 
Island, I had the following dream, which made a 
deep and lasting impression on my mind, and was 
to me a very significant one. 1 thought I was con- 
fined in a dark and dismal room, amongst foul and 
unclean spirits, which filled my mind with inex- 
pressible horror and dread, apprehending this might 
be my final fixed state ; but my soul greatly ab- 
horred and abominated the place with all its in- 
mates ; and I said, Oh ! Lord I can never rest here, 
then struggled hard to extricate myself, but was 
much surprized to find that I could not so much as 
move one finger ; so, after making several attempts 
to rescue myself to no purpose, I submitted myself 



SARAH TUCKER. 31 

to the mercy of a gracious God, uttering this lan- 
guage, " if it be thy will, Oh Lord that this should 
forever be my portion, thy blessed will be done ; ?} 
then my mind became calm, and a placid light 
shone about me, the darkness with all its horrors 
vanished, I felt peaceful, and that which held me 
as a chain was broken, and I awoke. 

Feeling in my mind a strong draft toward the 
members of our Monthly meeting, in the following 
winter, 1820, I visited a considerable part of the 
families thereto belonging ; in which service I found 
great inward peace, finding my way very open 
amongst them, and believe it was well received by 
Friends. I was now favored with ability mostly 
to attend meetings at and about home, and this 
year, our Yearly meeting, which I had not many 
times done since my residence at Dartmouth ; soon 
after which I was again visited with sickness, and 
brought very low, suffering much from the severe 
and excruciating pains which I underwent, yet was 
my mind preserved clear and in a good degree quiet, 
firmly believing that He, who had been with me 
in six troubles would not leave me in the seventh, 
but would safely bring me through-all. Sometimes 
at intervals when free from pain, I*committed to 
writing some of the exercises of my mind on va- 
rious subjects. 

It was about this time, or a little before, that the 
spirit of antichrist manifested itself under the spe- 
cious and high pretensions of greater light, and 
more spirituality, in our once peaceful borders, which 
was pretty early discovered and detected by those 
whose inward eye was kept single to the light of 
Truth as it is in Jesus. But the twining serpent 
so prevailed over some who had long filled eminent 
stations in the church, as to draw them down as 



32 MEMOIRS OF 

from Heaven to earth, and many being influenced 
and drawn away through their example, separated 
themselves from the body, and are now scattered 
up and down, having no certain abiding place for 
the feet of their minds to stay upon ; having re- 
jected the only hope and refuge of the weary and 
heavy laden with sin, Christ Jesus, the righteous, 
denying His divinity and godhead, also the efficacy 
of that most precious offering of Himself on the 
cross, wherein He tasted death for every man, and 
suffered for our sakes, the just for the unjust, that 
through faith in His atoning blood, we might wit- 
ness redemption out of our fallen and lost condition 
by and through obedience unto Him, who hath ap- 
peared the second time in our hearts a leader and 
commander without sin unto salvation. Oh! to 
what an height of impiety man may arrive when 
left to his own choosing. How did I bewail the 
condition of some whom I once esteemed as 
way-marks, as fathers and mothers in our Israel, 
whose example had often been strengthening 
to me. Indeed the language hath often been — 
How are the mighty fallen, and the shield of the 
mighty been vilely cast away, as though they had 
not been anointed with oil. How have some 
swerved from # the blessed Truth, having loved this 
present world and the liberties thereof, and made 
shipwreck of faith and a good conscience. What 
will such in the great day of final account do : 
What subterfuge can they make for themselves ; 
for surely there is no other name given whereby 
we can be saved, but by the name of Jesus, and 
unto Him every knee must bow, and every tongue 
confess, either in judgment or in mercy, sooner or 
later, either in time or in eternity ; and there is no 
way or means whereby we can elude this day of all 
our other days. From such preserve me, Oh ! thou 



SARAH TUCKER. 33 

God of power and might, hide me from the cruel 
arrows of the archers, and from the venom of the 
twining serpent as in thy secret pavilion. 

1820. Seventh mo. 17th. Oh! strengthen 
me to bear my pains and infirmities with christian 
fortitude, great Father and fountain of all strength. 

Can any one with more propriety adopt this lan- 
guage. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, 
my keenest trials have been to me sources of un- 
speakable joy and consolation ; why then should I 
repine, nay, I do not repine, but, " For all I bless 
thee ; most, for the severe. 



73 



l&th. This day feeble, my poor fabric ready to 
totter with weakness, yet through mercy, adorable 
mercy, my mind is supported and kept from sink- 
ing ; steadfastly believing that all things through 
faith and patience, whether in sickness or health, 
life or death, will work together for my everlast- 
ing good. 

During my confinement this summer my mind 
was often deeply exercised on account of the pre- 
valency of that rending spirit which is making sor- 
rowful devastation in our society, sowing discord 
amongst brethren, dividing as in Jacob, and scat- 
tering in Israel ; having a deep sense thereof on 
my spirit, although at this season much secluded 
from being amongst it, yet often was my mind 
covered with mourning and lamentation on this ac- 
count, feeling a deep travail of soul for the pros- 
perity of Zion, desiring that her cords might be 
lengthened and her stakes strengthened, notwith- 
standing the wrath of the dragon, and the mighty 
floods of opposition poured out of his mouth against 
the Lamb and his followers ; firmly believing that 
all those who remain stedfast in that precious faith 



34 MEMOIRS OF [1S20 

once delivered to the saints, being sound in princi- 
ple and practice will yet be favored, when the 
whirlwind, the fire, and the storm are passed away, 
to look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities, and 
behold Jerusalem a quiet habitation. Not one of 
her stakes shall ever be removed, or cords broken, 
but I believe that the glorious Lord will ever re- 
main to be unto His church and people, as a place 
of broad rivers and streams, wherein shall go no 
galley with oars, neither shall gallant ships pass 
thereby. For Christ Jesus, the immutable Rock 
is still the holy head, Judge and divine Lawgiver 
of His own Church. O, that we may be more and 
more gathered under the pure influence of His 
holy Spirit. 

It has been too much a time of ease with us, as 
a society, too much unconcernedness has prevailed 
amongst us — O, may these -afflictions which He 
hath permitted to overtake us, be the means of 
stirring up our hearts to more diligence, and greater 
faithfulness ; to a willingness to come under the 
baptizing power of divine Truth, that we may be 
cleansed from the defilements and spots of a degen- 
erate world, and become through obedience to the 
cross of Christ, of that happy number who believe 
to the saving*bf the soul, for the Lord hath no plea- 
sure in the soul that draweth back. 

Ninth mo. 25th. A little omission of duty 
last evening has been productive of poverty ; O 
Lord, I pray thee let not thine eye have pity, neither 
let thine hand spare, until thou hast entirely reduced 
and subjected all that is in me to thy holy will ; 
until I become wholly subservient to thy gracious 
purposes. 

27th. Very feeble and distressed in body, yet 



1820] SARAH TUCKER. 35 

inwardly engaged to supplicate for preservation and 
patience, and a firm reliance on that Arm which is 
omnipotent. 

28th. Low in body and mind, yet my hope re- 
mains strong in Christ Jesus my only Redeemer. 

Tenth mo. 1st. Oh, the bitter waters of Meri- 
bah ! my soul well knows their taste. Sustain me O 
Lord, even me, a poor abject worm, by thine arm 
of divine power ; thou knowest and art only ac- 
quainted with the secret conflicts and hidden 
trials of my heart — O preserve me, and let not the 
enemy have dominion over my soul. 

9th. Oh gracious God, suffer not the waves of 
affliction to overwhelm my soul ; but be thou near 
to support and bear me up by the right hand of thy 
power, that in thine own time, living stones of me- 
morial may be brought up to the praise of thine 
excellent power and majesty. 

10th. I find that for the week past I have gained 
a little in my health, and the prospect looks at pre- 
sent as if I might soon be about among my friends. 
O, the mercy and goodness of God, His wisdom is 
unsearchable, and His ways past finding out ; bless 
and forever adore His goodness and tender mercy, 
oh my soul, yea, let all that is within me, bless His 
holy name, for He hath made me glad in my afflic- 
tions, and to rejoice in my infirmities. 

13th. More comfortable, yet not wholly exempt 
from pain — but murmur not, O my soul. 

In thus writing when able, for the relief of my 
exercised mind, I hope my precious time is not 
spent altogether to no profit, for I desire above all 



36 MEMOIRS OF [1820 

things, so to be found, filling up my allotment, as 
that when the last great call may be heard, I may 
be enabled to say, u Come Lord for thy servant is 
ready." 

Eleventh mo. 8th. Poor and dry. O, mighty 
Father, preserve me in patience, be thou pleased to 
be near to help ; for thou art my strength and only 
hope of salvation, my true and never failing friend. 
The poor in spirit, the humble in heart, thou wilt 
never despise or turn from ; O, then grant, I be- 
seech thee, thy holy help, to keep me always low 
and humble before thee. 

Twelfth mo. 16th. My mind is often bowed under 
the awful apprehension, lest after having so largely 
experienced the goodness and mercy of a gracious 
God, I should be like forgetful Israel of old, who 
when they saw his wonders in the deep, sang his 
praise, but soon forgot his works. O Lord, my 
strong Rock and my Redeemer, sooner let my right 
hand forget its cunning, and my tongue cleave to 
the roof of my mouth, than that I should forget 
thy gracious and tender dealings with me ; how 
thou didst support and sustain when the raging bil- 
lows were ready to overflow and swallow me up ! 
Then didst thou by thine all powerful arm, deliver 
my soul from all oppression, and from sorrow. O 
condescend, holy One to be my keeper, my shield 
and my strength, I am poor and weak, helpless as 
an infant ; I need thy blessed aid and Fatherly care 
to direct my ways, and to guide me in thy holy 
counsel. O preserve me at all times in thy holy 
fear, whereby I may know my heart cleansed from 
all that is not of thine own begetting. 

Twelfth mo. O, the need of patience — holy faith 



1820] SARAH TUCKER. 37 

and patience', rightly to progress in the christian 
journey ! Tribulations surround us on every hand. 
Ah, I feel of a truth, that I cannot take one step in 
the road to Zion, except thou art my leader, O, 
thou high and holy One, who condescended to be 
to thy chosen people, formerly, a pillar of fire by 
night, and of cloud by day, to direct their course 
aright through the waste howling wilderness. O, 
be mercifully near to succour, and to shield from 
danger, both on the right hand and on the left ; 
strengthen me in all things to do thy holy will ; in 
all things, however repugnant to nature. O, may 
I more and more love the righteous restrictions of 
thy blessed cross, for I do know, and can testify 
that they are good and abundantly necessary. It 
is good to lay low and feel ourselves small in the 
estimation of men \ it is the humble whom thou 
teachest of thy ways, and the meek, thou wilt guide 
in the paths of true judgment. 

About this time I was favored through adorable 
mercy, with a degree of returning health, so as to 
be able again to attend our meetings, (which I had 
not done for a number of months,) and was often 
favored therein with the renewings of heavenly 
life, under which precious influence, the everlasting 
truths of the Gcspel were at times declared. 

Safely protected through the night* 

Inspire my heart to raise 
O ! Thou eternal God of might, 

A tribute to thy praise. 

To thy all-wise Almighty power, 

My life I humbly owe, 
Thou wast my refuge in the hour 

Of pain, distress, and woe. 



*Referring to her long season of distress both of body and mind. 

4 



38 MEMOIRS OF [1820 

Thy mercy and thy tender love, 

How precious to my mind, 
When agonizing pains did prove, 

My heart no rest could find, 

But in a firm belief and hope 

Thou wouldst be near to save, 
And in the trying hour support, 

To look beyond the grave. 

To view those blissful mansions where 

Redeemed souls shall come, 
Whose garments are made white and pure, 

Washed in the living stream. 

Eternal fountain of all good, 

To thee for help I cry, 
O ! help me Lord, for thou art God, 

On thee I will rely. 

Thou hast me succor'd from my youth 7 

Yea, in my infant days, 
Thy tender mercy did surround, 

Alluring to thy ways. 

Thy ways are ways of pleasantness*, 

Thy paths with peace abound, 
Then may I love thy holy cross 

And with thy flock be found. 

That precious chosen little band 

Who travel Z ion's road, 
Who seek to find that better land 

Where sorrows ne'er intrude. 

E'en where the wicked cease to grieve 

The tribulated seed, 
And where the weary find relief 

From all oppression freed. 

O ! dearest Father grant thy aid 

To finish here with peace, 
'Tis all I ask, 'tis all I crave, 

Not that baptisms cease. 



1823] SARAH TUCKER. 39 

Give strength to bear them as I ought, 

This, this is my request, 
O may my mind with faith be fraught, 

Assured of heavenly rest. 

1821. In the fourth month this year, I perform- 
ed a religious visit to the families of Friends be- 
longing to Rhode-Island Monthly Meeting, having 
the unity and concurrence of our own monthly 
meeting. My dear husband accompanied me in 
this visit ; it was much to the peace and satisfaction 
of my own mind, and I have no reason to doubt 
its being generally so to Friends of that place ; 
may all praise and honor be ascribed unto Him who 
only is worthy. 

After this, I was again pretty much confined at 
home by sickness, for more than a year, though able 
to attend our own particular and monthly meeting 
a few times. Oh, none can know the extent of the 
suffering and distress which the Lord hath brought 
me through, but Himself alone ; but this I can say, 
He hath been rich in mercy, tender and very gra- 
cious in all His dealings with me. My soul can 
speak well of his excellent Name, and magnify, 
exalt and praise his mighty power, which is above 
every other power, worthy forever, with the Son 
of His love, the Lamb immaculate, of high renown, 
worship, adoration and living praises, forever, and 
forever more, amen, amen. 

1823. In the tenth month of this year, in com- 
pany with Susan Howland, a ministering Friend, 
of New Bedford Monthly Meeting, I visited nearly 
all the meetings of Friends in Rhode-Island Quar- 
terly Meeting, taking a few also in Smithfield 
Quarter, having in order hereto, obtained a minute 
of concurrence from our Monthly Meeting. Although 



40 MEMOIRS OF [1824 

in this visit, poverty was much my companion, yet 
was I favored to keep in a good degree of quiet re- 
signation, under a deep sense of the general low 
depressed state of the seed of the everlasting king- 
dom of Jesus Christ, who is the Seed and Word 
of God. Oh, the patience that is requisite for the 
poor servant to keep sufficiently low, and willing 
to abide under suffering with it. Yet I believe 
there is no other way to witness an holy arising, as 
in newness of life, but by willingly suffering with 
the suffering seed. Here alone it is, that we are 
made livingly to experience in His own blessed 
time, the power of His resurrection, who is Lord 
over all ; we must be fully resigned to suffer with 
Him, being daily conformed unto His death through 
submission to His cross. I felt peace in being given 
up to this requisition, and was made thankfully to 
rejoice, in that I had been preserved both in my 
going out, and coming in, from wounding the pre- 
cious cause of Truth ; blessed be the name and 
power of Israel's Shepherd. 

1824. This year I was favored to attend our 
Yearly Meeting, also most of our own, and some 
adjacent meetings, often feeling my mind opened 
and enlarged in public testimony, in a word of com- 
fort to the mourners, of encouragement to the weary, 
and of reproof of backsliders. Oh ! Lord, Thou 
hast dealt very graciously with us, thy long suffer- 
ing has been great toward a backsliding and rebel- 
lious people ; but thou hast arisen, and art turning 
thy holy hand upon us, in order to try our founda- 
tions, whether they are built on Christ Jesus, the 
Rock of ages, or on the sand. The day will de- 
clare our works, of what sort they are, whether 
they be such as will stand the storm and the tem- 
pest. Alas ! for those who shall not be found build- 



1825] SARAH TUCKER. 41 

ing on the immutable Rock. O ! that all may see 
before it be too late, those things that belong to 
their everlasting peace. O ! that all might hear, 
and fear, and return unto the Lord, who will abun- 
dantly pardon those who come unto Him in hum- 
ble faith ; for pardon and salvation. 

1825. This year in the fifth month, I accompa- 
nied S. H., on a religious visit to the families of 
Friends, of New Bedford preparative meeting. In 
this visit, was mostly shut up as to Gospel commu- 
nication, except in a few families, where I felt the 
spring of life to arise, and ability given to clear 
myself; but generally, it was a low, suffering sea- 
son with me, yet I believe my good Master had an 
end, and a gracious design in thus leading me from 
house to house, as with my lips sealed. O ! 
this is trying to the creaturely part, but this I 
have learned that he that would be wise, must first 
become a fool. After this, I attended the Yearly 
Meeting, 

Having for a considerable time, felt a drawing in 
my mind, to make a visit in the love of the Gospel to 
some parts of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, and 
believing the time had arrived to proceed therein, 
I laid my concern before our Monthly meeting, 
which expressed its unity and sympathy with me 
therein, and furnished me with a certificate thereof, 
which I proceeded to lay before our Quarterly 
Meeting in the seventh month following, and re- 
cieved its endorsement. 

I left home the 19th of ninth month, having for 

my companion, Hannah Dennis, a ministering 

Friend, belonging to R. I. Monthly Meeting. We 

attended Pomfret and Middlesex Meetings on our 

way, in Connecticut, the last ; a precious watering 

opportunity. 

4# 



42 MEMOIRS OF [1825 

2Sth and 29th. At Plainfield and Stony Brook, 
in New Jersey, in which we felt cause for mourning. 
30th. Attended a meeting by appointment, at Bris- 
tol, in Bucks Quarterly Meeting, which was a low, 
discouraging season. Thence we proceeded to Phil- 
adelphia, and lodged at dear John Morton's. 

Tenth mo. 1st. and first of the week. We 
attended Pine Street Meeting in the morning, and 
Arch Street in the evening, both of them suffering 
seasons. I felt the pure seed to be greatly oppres- 
sed and borne down, as under a cart that is full of 
sheaves. 

2d. Rode to Frankford, where we had a meet- 
ing, in which the power of divine life arose over all 
opposition, blessed be the Lord, my only helper. 
3d. Was at a meeting at Radnor, which was 
dark and distressing. O ! the darkness of unbelief, 
the hardness and bitterness which I felt at some 
places hereaway — my soul mourned over their 
desolated state — may the Lord grant them repent- 
ance. 

4th* Had a meeting at East Whiteland, which 
was an opportunity worthy to be commemorated, 
wherein our minds were bowed under the fresh ex- 
tendings of divine favor. 5th and 6th. At the 
Monthly Meeting of Uwchland, and an appointed 
meeting at Pikeland. 7th. We rested at a kind 
Friend's house, and wrote letters to our dear friends 
at home. 

8th. Attended Nantmill meeting, in silence on 
my part, having no commission. O Lord, preserve 
me from all creaturely activity, in humble waiting 
before thee. 9th. Rode to Robertson. 10th. At- 
tended a meeting in this place, which was to good 
satisfaction, and next day travelled to Lampeter. 
12th. Had a meeting here, which proved a trying 
one ; thence rode to Columbia. 13th. Had a meet- 



1825] SARAH TUCKER. 43 

ing in this place, which was favored, the Lord con- 
descending to be mouth and wisdom, tongue and ut- 
terance, to the admiration I believe of many pre- 
sent, our appearance being but low. 

14th. Rode to Sadsbury, and 15th was at meet- 
ing in this place, a very exercising and trying one ; 
from thence we rode to Bart. 16th. Attended their 
meeting, it was on the whole, a season of favor. 
17th, 18th, 19th and 20th. We were at West 
Sadsbury, Cambridge, West and East Cain meet- 
ings, at the latter of which, was a funeral ; — the 
three last mentioned, open and satisfactory. Truth's 
testimony, although sharp and close, 1 thought was 
received with a good degree of openness. Oh, 
may it profit and quicken to more diligence. 

21st. Rested at Downingtown, at the house of 
our dear friend, Nathan Sharpless. 22d. Was at 
meeting in this place, a deeply exercising and prov- 
ing season to my poor mind. Oh, how dangerous 
it is for us to be settled on our lees, dwelling care- 
lessly, and at ease in Zion. 

23d, 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th and 28th. Were at 
Bradford, Goshen, Westchester, Birmingham, Con- 
cord and Stanton meetings, some of which, were 
graciously owned by the Master of assemblies ; 
Truth's testimony being exalted over the heads of 
its enemies, all power and praise be livingly ascrib- 
ed unto Him alone, who only is worthy, forever 
and ever. From Stanton, we rode to Wilmington, 
and lodged at Samuel Canby's. 29th. Was at 
their first day morning meeting, in which, notwith- 
standing I had to suffer much deep inward exercise 
for a considerable part of the meeting, the doctrines 
of our holy Redeemer flowed freely — truth rising 
into dominion, over all dark and unbelieving spirits. 
After this meeting I could say, the Lord is my 
Helper, in Him will I rejoice, magnified be His 



44 MEMOIRS OF [1825 

great name forever. We dined at S. C's., and hav- 
ing a satisfactory opportunity in his family, we left 
for Providence, which we reached that evening. 
30th. Attended their Monthly Meeting here to-day, 
in which divine goodness was felt to be near unto 
a remnant, who appear to be rightly engaged to 
nourish and succour the immortal seed of life in 
their own hearts. From this place, we went to 
Chichester, and on the 31st, was at their meeting. 
Eleventh mo. Thence took the following meetings, 
viz. Chester, Springfield, Middletown, Willistown, 
West-town School, and Newtown, some of them 
favored opportunities, for which the Lord be prais- 
ed ; thence we rode to Philadelphia, lodging at our 
dear friend, John Morton's, thence to Abington, 
and lodged at John Shoemaker's. 

8th Attended the Select Quarterly Meeting of 
Abington, at Horsham, and 9th, the meeting for bus- 
iness. At this meeting, my mind was painfully 
exercised, under a sense of the unsoundness of some 
of its leading members, in the doctrines and prin- 
ciples of our holy profession ; — my way was 
much shut up amongst them, for it frequently is 
the case, where hardness and unbelief are prevalent, 
that there is no openness for the Gospel of Christ 
Jesus to be preached. My sufferings were great in 
this place, Oh Lord, awake them, I humbly be- 
seech thee, to a sense of their undone and lost con- 
dition, without a Saviour and holy advocate to 
plead their cause ; for if they persist in this course, 
most assuredly, woe and misery will be their por- 
tion. After this meeting was over, we proceeded 
to Richland, where tarrying one night, we set out 
next day for Stroudsburgh, lodged that night in 
the town of Bethlehem, at a Moravian Inn, thence 
proceeded on our journey, and reached James Bell's 
in the afternoon. 13th. Attended their meeting in 



1825] SARAH TUCKER. 45 

this place ; the life of religion was low indeed. I 
apprehended that things were much out of order 
here. 

14th. It being a stormy day, and we much unwell, 
kept house. 

15th. We left here, and reached Mordecai 
Churchman's, at Easton, where we tarried the 
night. Next morning we had a solid and satisfac- 
tory opportunity in his family — we then left, and 
reached Richland. 17th, We attended their week 
day meeting in this place, in which darkness and 
death seemed to reign ; how hath the enemy pre- 
vailed, and been suffered to undermine and over- 
throw the faith of many of the professors of Truth 
to their great hurt and loss. I suffered the meeting 
through in silence, and then left them with a sor- 
rowful heart. 

18th. Rode to Gwynedd, and 19th, attended the 
meeting here, which was an open time. This 
passage of Scripture was presented to my mind 
with life and power, " I counsel thee to buy of me 
gold, tried in the fire, that thou may'st be rich," &c. 

We next took meetings at Plymouth, Upper 
Dublin, Byberry, Abington and Germantown, in 
all which 1 was mercifully helped to declare the 
everlasting and saving truths of the Gospel of our 
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, to the tendering of 
many hearts, notwithstanding I was made sensible 
that darkness and blindness had overtaken many ; 
even amongst the heads of the tribes, yet through 
holy help, Truth's blessed testimony, was raised 
into dominion over all opposition ; unto the Lord 
be ascribed all power, honor and praise. After the 
last mentioned meeting, we rode to Philadelphia, 
and on the 25th, rested at John Morton's. 

26th. In the morning, was at Green Street meet- 
ing, where I was favored to set things home in a 



46 MEMOIRS OF [1825 

pretty close searching manner, much to the relief 
of my own mind; — in the afternoon, at Twelfth 
Street — silent. 

Made several visits on the 27th ; and on the 
28th rode seven miles to Darby, and attended their 
Monthly Meeting. It was a laborious one, yet I 
had secretly to rejoice in that I gave up to this ser- 
vice. Returned the same evening to Philadelphia. 

29th. Rode to Abington, from thence, next day 
to Buckingham. 12th mo. 3d. Had a satisfactory 
meeting at Plumstead. 4th. Attended Solebury 
meeting, it being first day. It was large and fa- 
vored, Truth being raised into a good degree of do- 
minion over opposing spirits, for 1 had a sense giv- 
en me that there were such present, as stood in op- 
position to the cross of Christ. 

5th. Attended Buckingham Monthly Meeting, 
where I had close trying service, yet felt at the 
close of this meeting much inward relief. Oh 
Lord, my only Helper, preserve me in humility, 
and in reverent thankfulness, for great hath been 
thy mercy toward me. I had to rejoice, in believ- 
ing, that in this meeting there is a little baptized 
remnant, who travail for the welfare and prosperity 
of Truth. 

Next attended Solebury, Wrightstown, Newtown, 
Middletown, and the Falls' Monthly Meetings ; in 
all which I was silent, except that at Wrightstown 
which was in some degree favored ; but my lot in 
most of those above mentioned large Monthly 
Meetings, was to suffer with the tribulated deeply 
oppressed seed of the everlasting kingdom of our 
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. 

Twelfth mo. 11th, and first of the week, was at 
Trenton, in New-Jersey, on our way home. Here 
we were helped to declare the doctrines of the 
blessed Truth, through the merciful condescension 



1825] SARAH TUCKER. 47 

of Him, without whom we can do nothing. From 
thence, we proceeded pretty directly towards New 
York, where we arrived the 13th, and lodged at 
Samuel Wood's. Left next morning, intending to 
get home as soon as we consistently could, having 
received accounts from there informing of my hus- 
band's indisposition. I was favored to reach my 
outward habitation the 2 1st of 12th month, after 
being absent three months, and attending upwards 
of sixty meetings ; and although it was my lot to 
suffer deeply in many places, and to pass through 
trying baptisms, yet I find there is abundant cause 
to bless and adore the goodness and merciful kind- 
ness of the unfailing Shepherd of Israel to me- 
ward, in this journey, insomuch that I may adopt 
the language, " Return to the place of thy rest, O 
my soul ; for the Lord, thy God hath dealt boun- 
tifully with thee." 

I found my dear husband very unwell, with a 
cancer in the nose, which tumor had made its ap- 
pearance before I left home, but had since made a 
rapid progress, so that the prospect looked truly 
discouraging, yet I believe that we both had to re- 
joice in that I had been enabled to perform this 
service, which T had long felt as a burthen upon 
me. I believe he bore my absence with christian 
resignation, but was thankful for my safe return to 
his assistance. He was confined through the win- 
ter and most of the following spring. Having made 
use of several severe applications to effect a cure, 
it was at length obtained, through the blessing of 
a kind and gracious Providence, who is indeed near 
unto all that call upon Him in uprightness of heart. 
1826. I was favored to be at our Yearly Meet- 
ing this summer, and also in the course of this year, 
to attend all the meetings constituting our Quarterly 
Meeting. Some of them were indeed highly fa- 



48 MEMOIRS OF [1827 

vored opportunities, in which Truth's testimony- 
flowed freely ; the poor and needy were comforted 
and encouraged, the weak strengthened, the back- 
slider and lukewarm admonished and reproved. In 
the performance of this requisition of duty, I felt 
the sweet reward of peace. 

1827. During our absence in attending the 
Yearly Meeting this year, our little son Samuel, a 
child six years of age, while amusing himself in 
cutting a stick, happened to cut the ball of his eye, 
which proved very injurious to his sight, notwith- 
standing we did much for his help. He is now 
wholly deprived of the sight of one eye, and the 
other much weakened. Ah ! these are trials wisely 
calculated, and I do believe mercifully designed to 
shew us where our affections ought to be placed. 
O how vain and transitory are all human calcula- 
tions ; nothing certain, in this uncertain and fluctu- 
ating world ; nothing sure to fix our hopes upon. 
He was a very promising, fine boy — had begun to 
go to school, and manifested great aptness for learn- 
ing ; but now he is entirely deprived of this benefit. 
Yet if the minds of our dear children, can, through 
divine interposition, be preserved in innocence, and 
in the pure fear of the Lord, and patience and true re- 
signation is abode in on our part, I comfortably be- 
lieve that this afflictive dispensation will be blessed 
and sanctified unto us, through Him that hath 
loved us. 

O gracious Father, and fountain of all our sure 
mercies, deal Avith me again and again, until all 
selfishness is rooted out of my heart ; — spare not, 
until all is freely given up to thy holy will and ser- 
vice. O leave me not, I pray thee, be thou my 
guide, counsellor and instructor, my strong and firm 
support, through every deep baptism and tribula- 
tion, thou mayest be pleased to permit. 



1827 SARAH TUCKER. 49 

Ninth mo. 2d, O Lord, marvellous hath been 
thy dealings with me, through unutterable love and 
mercy, vouchsafed ; bow low, oh ! my soul, and 
forever prostrate thyself at the footstool of a cruci- 
fied Saviour, who alone hath redeemed, and can 
save thee out of all distress, and from all adversity, 
who only can preserve from the shafts and tempta- 
tions of the wicked one, or shield us from a vain 
and delusive world. Thou Lord, art my Rock, my 
strength, and my salvation. 

Having felt my mind drawn to visit some of our 
Eastern Quarterly Meetings, particularly Salem, 
Dover, and Falmouth, for some time past, and the 
subject reviving with weight, I concluded to open 
my prospect to Friends in our Monthly Meeting, 
which I did, and they united with me therein, and 
furnished me with a copy of a minute to that effect. 
I left home on the 10th of 9th month, my dear 
husband accompanying me. We reached Lynn 
the next day in the afternoon. 5th day, 13th. At- 
tended their Monthly Meeting, which was an open 
favored opportunity. 7th day, 15th. Was at a 
meeting at Newbury, the spring of divine life was 
low at this place ; too many are at ease, satisfying 
themselves with a name. O what will this effect 
for us — a name to live, yet to be found dead. 
First day, morning, at Amesbury, afternoon, at Sea- 
brook — pretty open at the morning meeting, that 
at Seabrook, very trying. 5th day, 18th. Had a 
meeting at Epping, with Friends and others ; truth 
seemed to be in a good degree, raised into dominion. 
19th. Attended a small meeting at Lee, in which 
they were reminded that man can no more as man, 
preach the Gospel, than he can command the out- 
ward rain. We also had a satisfactory opportunity 
in the widow Cartland's family, where we lodged. 
20th. Attended meeting to day at Meaderbor- 
5 



50 MEMOIRS OF 1827 

ough ; a favored season, there seemed an openness 
to plead with the people. O may it be to profit. 

22d. Had a meeting at New Durham, a low 
time. O, the suffering of the pure seed ! how it is 
oppressed and borne down in many places, and in 
many hearts. O Lord, awaken all to the necessity 
of removing every obstruction, that it may spring 
up and prosper gloriously, is the breathing of my 
heart. First day, the 23d. Attended meeting at 
Dover; it was large, many not professing with us, 
being present — it was a season of divine favor and 
enlargement. I felt my mind engaged to enforce 
the necessity of that solemn injunction of our 
blessed Lord, " what I say unto you, I say unto 
all, Watch?' — for this as for every other favor, may 
all praise be forever ascribed unto Him, who is the 
blessed author of all good. 

24th. Had a meeting at Rochester, which was 
to pretty good satisfaction, and 25th, another at 
Elliot, very small, yet in some good degree .favored 
with the good presence. 26th. Attended Dover 
Monthly Meeting, in which my mind was opened 
and enlarged on the parable of the ten virgins, in 
rather a remarkable manner. O, holy Shepherd, 
thou didst go before, thou didst guide and instruct 
me in the deep mysteries of thy kingdom ; unto 
thee, the Lord God and the Lamb, be ascribed all 
power, might, majesty and dominion, now and for- 
ever more. 

27th. Attended an appointed meeting at a 
place called Oak-woods. 28th. Was at Berwick, 
Monthly Meeting, a deeply exercising and labo- 
rious season, yet no outward cause appeared 
manifest. I believe, that if a right concern, and 
living exercise of soul toward God, was but enough 
lived in and abode under, we should oftener expe- 
rience the arising of divine life in our religious 



1827 SARAH TUCKER. 51 

assemblies, and fee] its circulating influence to 
quicken and enliven our minds, to let go every cord 
that does not bind us, and draw us nearer to the 
spring, and fountain of divine life. 

The following week we attended meetings as 
follows ; on first day, both forenoon and afternoon, 
at Portland, then at Cape Elizabeth, Falmouth, 
Pownal, Durham, Windham and Gorham. Some 
of these, were open favored opportunities ; particu- 
larly Falmouth and Pownal. O, that I may walk 
worthy of these great mercies. We next attended 
meetings at Limington, Parsonsfield, and the North 
and South meetings at Sandwich, in New Hamp- 
shire. These meetings were mostly laborious, try- 
ing seasons. Quicken us, O Lord, for thy mercies 
sake : for thy great name's sake redeem us out of 
the snares, temptations and delusions, of the grand 
deceiver of souls. 

Tenth mo. 14th. First day of the week. Attend- 
ed a meeting at Gilmanton, a precious opportunity 
indeed, light and life broke forth in a wonderful 
manner, and seemed to reign triumphant for a sea- 
son, over all the powers of darkness ; magnified 
over all be thy blessed power and goodness, O Lord, 
now, henceforth, and forever more, amen. 2d day, 
15th. Attended a Monthly Meeting at Pittsfield. 
Things appeared to be much out of order in this 
place, and the discipline not enough put in force 
against disorderly walkers. Where our discipline 
is neglected, O what weakness follows ; and where 
this is manifestly the case, it is evident to the 
discerning mind, that there is a cause — the love of 
the world, and things of time, and a desire after 
undue riches, sometimes take possession of the 
heart ; then the desire after true holiness abates, 
and our zeal for the honor of God, and the promo- 
tion of His blessed cause of truth and righteous- 



52 MEMOIRS OF [1827 

ness, waxeth cold, and a state of lukewarmness 
and cold indifferency ensues. I found it my place 
in this meeting, to bring to mind the necessity of 
having oil in our vessels with our lamps, seeing 
without this, we cannot obtain an admittance into 
the abodes of peace. 17th and 18th. Attended 
Salem Quarterly Meeting, held at Weare ; I thought 
on the whole, it was a favored meeting. We thence 
took meetings at Henniker, Unity, Weare North 
Meeting, and Concord j most of which were satis- 
factory opportunities. First day, 28th. Attended 
meeting both forenoon and afternoon at Salem, on 
our way home ; the parable of the marriage supper 
was presented and opened, the doctrines of the 
Gospel flowed freely, particularly in the morning. 
O Lord, grant that it may not be lost, for it was of 
thy rich mercy — and to thee be all praise given. 

Tenth mo. 30th ; 3d day. We arrived home to 
day, and found our family all well, except our dear 
little son, whose eyes still continue in a discourag- 
ing state. 

In a grateful sense, O Lord, of thy tender mer- 
cies vouchsafed to me, an unworthy worm, whilst 
on this journey, my soul is bowed in reverent thank- 
fulness, craving the continuation of thy Fatherly 
care and watchful Providence, to lead and direct 
me, and to protect from danger and all evil. O 
grant that thy preserving power may be over and 
round about, to keep me in a strict dependence on 
thee alone, with a single eye to the pointings of thy 
holy finger, for without thy blessed assistance, I 
can do nothing that will bring peace to my own 
mind, or promote thy precious cause on the earth. 

In collecting the foregoing little scraps and min- 
utes, which I have preserved from time to time, 
and (with the help of memory, particularly as it 



1S28 SARAH TUCKER. 53 

respects the early part of my life,) throwing them 
together, I may acknowledge, that it affords me 
peace and satisfaction in proceeding thus far. 

1S28. This year, I went not much from home, 
except to attend our Yearly and Quarterly Meet- 
ings, and some adjacent meetings ; being concerned 
diligently to attend our own, and was therein, at 
times favored to experience the arising of divine 



good. 



Second mo. 2d. O Lord, I am oppressed, un- 
dertake for me ; my burthen is heavy, mourning 
and lamentation cover my mind, because the com- 
forter is afar off. He that only can relieve, is not 
witnessed to be near. Under a mournful sense of 
the prevalency of a spirit of lukewarmness, and a 
state of unconcernedness in many of our Society, 
who seem to be at ease in Zion, settled on their 
lees: my spirit is often bowed and plunged into 
deep baptism ; my heart is pained within me, and 
my cry is raised unto the God and Father of all 
our sure mercies, that the professors of the blessed 
Truth, may be awakened to a sense of the import- 
ance of being what they profess to be ; for " if the 
righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the un- 
godly and the sinner appear ?" If those who are 
sincerely endeavoring to live godly, self-denying 
lives, submitting to the refining crucifying power 
of the cross of Jesus Christ in their hearts, are but 
scarcely saved from the wrath to come, what will 
be the end of all such as hold the truth in unright- 
eousness, satisfying themselves with a name to live, 
while they are dead — dead in trespasses and sins, 
fulfilling in themselves, the desires of a vain and 
fleshly mind. O, Lord God of Hosts arise, make 
bare thine holy arm of divine power, and yet plead 
with such — open the blind eye that it may yet see, 
5* 



54 MEMOIRS OF 1828 

unstop the deaf ear that it may yet hear, and be/vvil- 
ling to receive the glorious gospel invitation of the 
messenger of the everlasting covenant of life and 
of peace ; and be made willing to submit to thy 
healing, cleansing, restoring and converting power, 
and be thereby made partakers of the joys of thy 
salvation. O Lord revive thy work in the midst of 
the years, (the years of mournful revolt,) even the 
work of righteousness in purity and simplicity, in 
meekness and in living faith, that faith which 
works by love to the purifying of the heart, from 
every defilement, both of flesh and spirit ; even so, 
O Lord, if consistent with thy holy will, amen. 

Second mo. 14th. I am this day, forty-nine 
years of age ; my sun is on the decline, .this I am 
made sensibly to realize in many respects ; and in 
looking over the past leaves of my short life, my 
soul is humbled, both under a sense of the Lord's 
goodness and great condescension to me, a poor un- 
worthy worm of the dust, as also a consideration of 
my unfaithfulness and long disobedience to my di- 
vine Master ; and I felt a fervent desire and prayer 
raised in my heart this morning, to the great Father 
and fountain of all Good, that He would be gra- 
ciously pleased, thoroughly to wash and cleanse me 
from all sin and iniquity, to blot out my transgres- 
sions, and remember them no more, and to enable 
me more and more to keep the watch, that the few 
remaining days of my life, may be more fully de- 
voted and consecrated to serve Him. 

O, Thou searcher of hearts, thou knowest my 
sincerity, make me altogether what thou would 
have me to be in thy sight ; create in me a new 
heart, and renew a right spirit within me ; discover 
more and more clearly by the light of thy dear 
Son, Christ Jesus our Lord, all the evil that may 



1828 SARAH TUCKER. 55 

yet be lurking in my breast. I am sensible, O gra- 
cious Father, that I have great need of being often 
washed and cleansed ; and O, that I may often wit- 
ness the renewings of the Holy Ghost, sent down 
from Heaven upon my heart, that by and through 
its baptizing influence, all may be consumed in me 
that obstructs my Heavenly course. Enable me, 
O! gracious God — thou who hast often in great 
mercy, made bare thine holy Arm of power for my 
help and deliverance from great distress, both in- 
ward and outward, so to run, as that I may obtain 
the prize — that no cloud, no fogs or mists may ob- 
struct the beauty of a clear setting sun, however 
stormy or tempestuous in thy unsearchable wisdom 
my day may have been suffered to be. My trials, 
though many, O holy Father I ask not, I desire not 
to be released from, but in thy own time and way . 

But grant thy holy aid, thy strengthening power, 
To keep and guard me in the trying hour, 

Give patience and forbearance to my fainting soul 
When deeply tried, and when the billows roll. 

Attended meeting to day ; the Lord was pleased 
to manifest himself by the breaking of a little bread 
to the few present. 

19th. My spirits low and drooping, fears within 
and trials without ; but afflictions spring not out of 
the dust, neither trouble out of the ground. For 
I believe that He whose wisdom is incomprehensi- 
ble to finite man, and his ways past finding out, 
well knoweth how, when and where, to dispense 
to each individual his proper and due share of these 
things: He best knoweth what is best suited to 
our peculiar state. Murmur not then O my soul 
at thine allotment, although it may seem to be se- 
vere, but trust in God and in His invincible arm of 
power, which is still stretched out in great kind- 



56 memoirs or 1828 

ness to deliver and preserve all who rightly depend 
and lean thereon. 

Seventh mo. 13th. Attended the meeting at 
Smith's Neck, a branch of our Monthly Meeting, 
which in the fore part was painfully distressing, but 
after patiently waiting for the arising of the word 
of life, Truth's blessed testimony was through 
Almighty help exalted over all; — blessed be his 
holy Name and power. How sorrowful it is when 
meetings and individuals are declining in the most 
important concerns, and suffer the things of this 
world to engross so much of their attention and 
affections as to unfit them for the solemn duty of 
performing acceptable worship unto God. 

16th Attended a funeral to day which although 
deeply exercesing in the fore-part, proved through 
divine mercy to be a favored opportunity ; the pow- 
er of Truth being felt to be over all opposition ; 
blessed be the name of the Lord. 

20th. Our meeting was dull and heavy to-day, 
a thick cloud seemed to be over my mind, which 
has for sometime been my experience in our meet- 
ing ; but I humbly trust that He who hath his way 
in the thick cloud will yet (as patience is abode in) 
cause the light to break forth, to the gladdening of 
the hearts of the upright and sincere. 

23d. At our Monthly Meeting to-day, my mind 
was renewedly confirmed, that those, whose minds 
have been divinely illuminated, and have been 
mercifully permitted to taste, and to handle of the 
good word of life, but through unwatchfulness, 
have yielded to the seductions and temptations of 
the adversary of souls, and thereby lost their armor 



1828 SARAH TUCKER. 57 

and strength, cannot in their own way, or their 
own will and time, ( however desirable it may be) 
know a going forth in the strength and beauty of 
an holy steadfastness in the blessed Truth as is in 
Jesus. O the great loss of such ! how much to be 
deplored, and not to be regained but through deep 
baptisms, and a thorough reduction of self, in which 
such can have a true sight and sense of their con- 
dition — realize from whence they have fallen, and 
with humble repentance and self abasement abhor 
themselves as in dust and ashes. As this truly 
humbled state of mind becomes their experience, it 
would I have no doubt, be mercifully regarded ; and 
I believe it possible for such to be renewedly ap- 
pointed and re-anointed for the Lord's work : for 
He is indeed a long-suffering and gracious God. 
But no mixture will be acceptable to Him — the 
offering must be pure, without alloy. 

First day 27th. Went in company with my 
dear husband to Allen's Neck, and attended their 
meeting, this also being a branch of our Monthly 
Meeting. Here, for a long season, silent suffering un- 
der much bodily weakness was my lot, but endeav- 
oring to have my mind stayed on Him, who is the in- 
exhaustible fountain of strength, I was mercifully 
favored with renewed ability, vocally to supplicate 
for an increase of faith, in the all sufficiency of the 
everlasting arm of divine power, even that which 
overcometh all weakness, and giveth the victory 
over death, hell and the grave. Magnified forever 
be thy blessed power O Lord, which at times work- 
eth marvellously. 

31st. At our week day meeting ; in which 
though small, my mind was comforted in the belief 
that there would be preserved, a little remnant up 



"58 MEMOIRS OF 1828 

and down, which should be as the salt that retains 
its savor, notwithstanding the sorrowful, and so 
general declension of our society. 

Eighth mo. 2d, Attended the funeral of an in- 
fant this afternoon, and thought the opportuity in 
some degree a favored one ; howbeit, I lost my 
penny by not keeping sufficiently near to my divine 
Guide. It was in partaking of some wine and 
water before leaving the house, for which I felt 
condemned ; and can say, I have no unity with 
the practice of drinking spirits, or even wine on 
such occasions. 

3d. Sat in our own meeting in a poor distressed 
state of mind, mourning over my folly and inad- 
vertancy. O Lord grant me forgiveness, be pleased 
to blot out mine iniquity, and wash me again and 
again, that I may be purged from my transgression, 
and made meet to serve thee with acceptance. 

Thou knowest O righteous Father the many trials 
that attend my daily walk ! how thickly spread on 
every hand ! Thou knowest also my great weak- 
ness, — that lam but dust and can do nothing of 
myself; — help thou me, O everlasting Rock, my 
only refuge and shelter from the storm and tem- 
pest, my only Redeemer and supporter, in every tri- 
al and deep baptism, through which I may yet have 
to wade. O ! Lord thou art mighty to save and 
able to deliver — this my soul knoweth from living 
experience. 

1829. This year I was favored to attend our 
Yearly Meeting at Rhode-Island which was to me 
a season of deep suffering, and I believe it was felt 
to be so to all the livingly exercised. O the great 
need of keeping strictly on the watch with a sin- 
gle eye to the Truth as it is in Jesus, in which 



1828 SARAH TUCKER. 59 

only we can be preserved clear sighted, aud be qual- 
ified to discriminate between truth and error, either 
on the right hand or on the left, and thereby expe- 
rience preservation from the snares of the subtle 
enemy. How great is the loss that hath been sus- 
tained for want of an abiding here, in the pure fear 
and counsel of the Holy head of the Church who 
hath said "without me ye can do nothing." O what 
can the wisdom and prudence of man do, in pro- 
moting the Lord's cause on the earth — seeing He 
will confound the wisdom of the wise, and bring to 
naught the understanding of the prudent. He re- 
mains to be jealous of His honor and will not give his 
praise to another. Great is the weight that resteth 
on the burden bearers, in this day of awful declen- 
sion from primitive purity and simplicity, which so 
conspicuously shone forth in our worthy forefathers, 
and so beautifully adorned our high and holy pro- 
fession. The true burden bearers according to the 
sense given me, are but few in number. O right- 
eous Father hold these in thy holy hand, hide them 
from the wrath of the dragon as in the secret of 
thy pavilion, until the overflowing scourge be 
past. Preserve O Lord, thy righteous seed through 
every dispensation however painful, which thou in 
thy unfathomable wisdom may suffer to overtake 
them, for the refining and purifying of thy Church 
and people. 

We had at this our annual meeting, the 
company of Thomas Shillitoe, and George and Ann 
Jones from Great Britain, whose company and 
Gospel labors were strengthening and confirming 
to a deeply tried remnant present. 

Seventh mo. 2d. Attended our Quarterly Meet- 
ing held on Nantucket. It was a distressing season 
especially the meetings for business. O ! how un- 



60 MEMOIRS OF [1S28 

like those precious opportunities, I thought, when 
our early Friends met together as with one concern 
and with one accord, in one place, to wait upon the 
Lord for the arising of that life, which is the crown 
of our assemblies. How were they melted and 
baptized together, drinking into the one Spirit, 
whereby their souls were refreshed and animated 
to run and not be weary, to walk and not faint. 
But alas ! how dark and desolating is the effect of 
an anti-christian spirit, and how hath the spirit of 
the world taken hold of the minds of many profes- 
sors to their great wounding, so that their love to 
God and his blessed cause hath waxed cold ! For 
these things I weep and am in heaviness — great 
hath been the hidden secret travail of my soul before 
the Lord, that there might be an arising and shaking 
of ourselves from those defilements, and a coming 
out of and away from every thing that the Lord hath 
a controversy with. 

Oar dear Friends from Great Britian were also at 
this meeting, and faithfully discharged themselves, 
laboring honestly amongst us; — that their labors 
may prove successful is the prayer of my heart. 

7th. Attended a funeral at our meeting house 
at Newtown, where the blessed truths of the ever- 
lasting gospel were livingly set forth; — all praise 
be forever ascribed unto Him who only is worthy. 

19th. Attended the meeting in Smith's Neck, 
which was favored in a good degree with the divine 
presence, and under its precious influence Truth's 
testimony was exalted over all. Bow O my soul, in 
reverent thankfulness, and deep prostration before 
Him, who alone is found worthy to open the book, 
and to loose the seals thereof, and is eternally wor- 
thy of all praise, majesty and power, world without 
end, amen. 



1829] SARAH TUCKER. 61 

22d. Our Monthly Meeting to-day, was a mem- 
orable time. We had the company of several 
ministering Friends from neighboring Monthly 
Meetings. The Gospel of life and salvation was 
preached with a good degree of right authority ; 
many states were spoken to with precision, and the 
pure witness reached j the mourners were comfort- 
ed, the weak strengthened, the lukewarm and 
carnal professors aroused ; the deceitful and hypo- 
critical warned against holding the truth in un- 
righteousness ; — and my desire is that it maybe 
remembered to profit, 

23d. O my soul I get thee to the watch tower ? 
wait in all humility to hear the voice of the True 
Shepherd. Suffer nothing, O Lord that appertains 
to this lower world, to render me incapable of hear- 
ing thy most excellent voice, and of rightly dis- 
cerning the comeliness of thy countenance. O holy 
Father, grant me if consistent with thy divine 
will, a quick perception of the subtle transforma- 
tions of the serpent in all his shapes and designs, 
give me strength to combat, until I go hence j do 
with me as seemeth good unto thee, for thou art 
my life, my strength and preservation ; be with me 
therefore my*leader, counsellor and never failing 
helper. 

Eighth mo. 2d. Yesterday at our own little 
meeting, we were favored with a renewed evidence 
of our heavenly Father's love, even to the humb- 
ling and contriting, and I believe to the fresh ce- 
menting of the hearts of a little remnant together, 
by that bond which is not an outward one : O Lord 
preserve thy wrestling children in heights, and in 
depths ; keep them in the hour of temptation from 
the power of satan ; for without thy holy help we 
6 



62 MEMOIRS OF [1829 

perish : enable us more and more to devote our all 
to thee — our strength, and the residue of our days. 
Search my heart, O thou heart searching God, 
and spare not until all that is within me is made 
wholly conformable to thy blessed will ; nothing 
short of thy presence O everlasting Father, will do; 
all else is vain and transient, but thou art a sure 
hiding place forever. 

5th. & 6th. I attended Rhode-Island Quarterly 
Meeting held at Portsmouth, although it was a 
deeply baptizing season to me, yet I thought the 
public opportunity for divine worship was through 
adorable mercy, a time of renewed favor. O Lord, 
in this day of perplexity, and treading down both 
of the law and the testimonies of thy Truth, remem- 
ber I beseech thee, thy covenant with Abraham, 
Isaac and Jacob, and give not thine heritage w T holly 
to reproach ; but arise I pray thee, and make thyself 
known for our deliverance; — Thou who art mighty 
to save, and wonderful to redeem — Thou who hath 
cut Rahab, and wounded the dragon. Thou hast 
turned, and art still turning thine holy hand upon us 
as a people, in thy unsearchable wisdom, in order 
to purify and purge us from our filthipess. Enable 
us to endure thy chastening rod with holy humble 
patience, that our Zion may yet be redeemed out 
of, and cleansed from every pollution, and thus be 
prepared and made ready for the holy bridegroom 
of souls, that so she may arise and shine forth in 
ancient beauty and splendor. But Israel hath 
greatly revolted from thee, O Lord, and turned 
aside after vanities and lies. This complaint of 
the prophet, appears to me to be applicable in the 
present day, " The ox knoweth his owner, and 
the ass his master's crib ; but Israel doth not know, 
my people doth not consider." Yet, O Lord, I 
beseech thee, in thine unmerited kindness and ten- 



1829] SARAH TUCKER. 63 

der mercy, visit again for these things, and correct 
us in mercy, and graciously spare the little remnant 
that have been made willing to go into captivity, 
yea, to follow thee unto suffering and death, for 
thy precious name and cause sake ; and O, Thou 
merciful and long suffering God, gather home, I 
pray thee, if consistent with thy blessed will, the 
scattered and strayed sheep from thy fold : give no 
rest to their souls until they return to thee, the 
Ark of safety. 

Ninth mo. 6th. Oh ! the need of keeping low 
and humble, poor finite creatures as we are, alto- 
gether dependent on the mercy of a gracious God : 
it certainly behooves us to think lowly of ourselves, 
yea, and soberly, endeavoring to set the Lord al- 
ways before our eyes, and to walk in his holy fear, 
seeking counsel of Him who is the wonderful coun- 
sellor ; whose all-seeing eye is over us at all times. 
O Lord, preserve me humble, and make me more 
and more sensible of my dependent condition, for 
thou art my support and strength ; without thy 
grace strengthening me, I can do nothing, and am 
nothing. O, be with thy church and people wher- 
ever scattered, strengthen and sustain them under 
every tribulation and baptism that may be allotted 
them ; may thy cheering promises animate the 
weary traveller, and thy soul-enlivening presence 
satisfy at all times, the poor in spirit, and the bro- 
ken in heart ; for these, we trust thou wilt revive, 
these thou wilt strengthen, enabling them at sea- 
sons, to acknowledge with joy of heart, that "This 
is the Lord, we have waited for him, and he will 
save us ; lo ! this is our God, we will be glad and 
rejoice in his salvation." 

Tenth mo. llth. Having for some time felt my 



64 MEMOIRS OF [1829 

mind drawn to visit the meetings of Friends in 
Rhode-Island, and a part of Smithfield Quarters ; 
at our last Monthly Meeting, it became my concern 
to open my prospect to Friends, and obtained their 
sympathy and concurrence, certified by minute, and 
expect, if the Lord permit, to leave home to-morrow. 
O Lord, be pleased to go along with us, our Light, 
our leader, and our preserver, our shield and strength, 
our bow and battle axe, a present helper in every 
needful time. Thou knowest the plungings and 
deep wadings of my spirit, thou knowest I have 
nothing of my own to depend on, that without 
thee I am poor, having no might nor strength but 
what thou art pleased to give, no staff, nor scrip, 
nor any change of garments, and most assuredly 
thou only canst availingly equip me, to make war 
in righteousness. O Lord, the day is dark, per- 
plexity hath overtaken a deeply revolting and back- 
sliding people, yet grant comfort and consolation 
to thine in heart, O thou who remainest a light 
to thy children, a strength to the poor, a refuge for 
the needy, and a strong tower in the day of trouble. 
Be with us therefore, O Lord God of Hosts, go 
before and lead the way, and of thy rich mercy 
grant a portion of thy all-sustaining power and 
presence, to support and bear us up under every 
fresh trial and conflict which may await or assail 
us, and I will follow thee (through thine own 
blessed assistance,) whithersoever thou art pleased 
to lead ; and be thou round about, watch over and 
keep our families at home, and if consistent with 
thy holy will and wisdom, grant, that when our 
service is accomplished, we may be permitted to 
meet again, to the rejoicing, strengthening and 
encouraging one another, in all things pertain* 
ing to thy glorious kingdom, and our own eternal 
peace. 



1829] SARAH TUCKER. 65 

Tenth mo. 12th. First day afternoon, left home 
and reached Swanzey, where we appointed a meet- 
ing to be held next day. 13th. Attended meeting 
here, it was rather a laborious time, especially in 
the fore part, but toward the close I felt constrained 
vocally to supplicate, and thought I found near ac- 
cess to the Fountain of all good. Afternoon, rode 
to Warren, and 14th attended an appointed meeting 
there, which, though small, was yet a favored op- 
portunity ; the blessed truths of the Gospel of our 
Lord Jesus Christ were set forth, I trust, in some 
degree of right authority ; grant O Lord, that it 
may fasten as a nail in a sure place. Afternoon, 
rode back to Troy, [now Fall River.] 15th. At- 
tended their week-day meeting, which was a bap- 
tizing heart tendering season, for which the Lord's 
name be praised. 

We next took Berkley and Taunton meetings, 
in both which the spring of divine life was low, 
and things seemed rather discouraging ; thence to 
Providence, and took lodgings at the house of our 
worthy friend and elder, Moses Brown, where 
we remained three days, except that we visited 
the Boarding School on Seventh day, and at- 
tended meeting on First-day morning in the 
town, and in the afternoon at the School. Moses 
was remarkably pleasant and agreeable in conver- 
sation, bright and lively in spirit, and I thought it 
a mercy that his life was thus prolonged : his coun- 
sel and advice being at this time much needed. 
The meeting at Providence I thought was gra- 
ciously owned by the great Head of the Church, 
and ability was afforded to relieve my exercised 
mind amongst them. 

From thence we took the following meetings, 
viz. Cranston, Coventry, Greenwich, Wickford, 
Tower Hill, South Kingstown, and Richmond, 

6* 



66 MEMOIRS OF [1829 

some of which were divinely favored opportunities, 
and others deeply trying, that at Greenwich re- 
markably so, which I sat through in silence. 

Second day, 26th. Attended South Kingstown 
Monthly Meeting, held at Hopkinton, which was 
in some degree favored with the Teachings forth of 
Heavenly good. 27th. Attended their Select Pre- 
parative Meeting, which was small ; I thought they 
appeared to be under a good concern and right en- 
gagement of mind : O Lord, strengthen them to 
hold on, and to hold out unto the end, that their 
reward may be sure unto them. We then proceed- 
ed to Plainfield, Conn., and was at their Preparative 
Meeting on the 30th, which was held nearly in si- 
lence, no way opening for much communication. 
We next attended meetings at Poster, Scituate, 
Burrilville, Douglass, Northbridge, and Uxbridge, 
in most of which my way was open, my mind being 
much enlarged in proclaiming the glad tidings of 
the Gospel, I humbly trust, under right direction. 
All praises be livingly ascribed unto Him who is 
everlastingly worthy. 

First day, 9th of 11th mo. Attended meeting 
at Upper Smithfield, wherein I labored faithfully 
as ability was given — being led to speak of the 
sufferings of ancient Friends, on account of those 
precious testimonies which they were called to bear 
and maintain, and to contrast their day with ours, 
who profess to be their followers, and to show the 
great declension of our society from the simplicity, 
faith and faithfulness of our worthy forefathers ; 
in all which I felt sweet peace, and a flow of gos- 
pel love to all both far and near : blessing and 
honor, glory and power be forever ascribed unto 
the Lord God and the Lamb, which was slain and 



1829] SARAH TUCKER. 67 

is alive, and ever liveth at the right hand of the 
Father who only is worthy. 

10th. Had a meeting at Cumberland ; a con- 
siderable number of Methodists being present, as we 
were informed ; it was a memorable season. Bow 
low, O my soul, and forever bless and magnify the 
Lord's everlasting power, which is above every 
other power. 11th. Attended Lower Smithfield 
meeting, it was a truly distressing one to me, which 
I sat through very nearly in silence; — the Lord 
best knoweth how to feed his people, 

I reached home the 12th of eleventh month, and 
found my dear husband and children well, which 
I esteemed a favor, having been absent from them 
thirty-one days, and attended twenty-six meetings ; 
and have to acknowledge to the praise of Almighty 
goodness, that in the course of this short journey 
His everlasting arm of divine power has been gra- 
ciously extended to sustain my drooping spirit, to 
help and to strengthen me for His own work. Of 
a truth He maketh the mountains of opposition to 
flow down at his presence, and the everlasting hills 
do bow before His awful majesty. Thou didst go 
before, and open the way, turning the darkness into 
light. Thou didst not fail to instruct, and to pre- 
serve me, even until now ; magnified over all be 
thy glorious name and power forever. 

Eleventh mo. 20th. Attended our select Pre- 
parative meeting, in which I sat under a sorrowful 
apprehension, thftt self had usurped the throne of 
our holy Head, Christ Jesus, who only is worthy 
to have the pre-eminence. Search me O Lord and 
know my heart, try me and know my thoughts, 
and if there be any wicked thing in me, of thy 
mercy do thou it away. I tremblfe for some 
amongst us ; fears have taken hold of my mind, — , 



68 MEMOIRS OF [1829 

grant that we may see, and be willing to see our- 
selves, as we are seen of thee, ever bearing in re- 
membrance that after we have done that which 
was our duty to do, we are but unprofitable ser- 
vants, and of ourselves can do nothing. The disci- 
ple is not above his Lord, neither the servant above 
his master. O the need of lowliness and humility 
of heart — grant O righteous Father that this may 
ever be the covering of my spirit. 

Twelfth mo. Our Quarterly Meeting was large- 
ly attended ; the meeting for Ministers and Elders 
was a trying season — O may the cause be searched 
out, may Jerusalem, arise and shake herself from 
every defilement, that she may yet be clothed upon 
with the beautiful garments of meekness and sal- 
vation. A solemn sense of our sad situation doth 
often cause me pain of heart and anguish of mind — 

1 am covered with sorrow as with a mantle. 

22d. Attended a meeting at Portsmouth, R. I., 
wherein I was concerned to bear testimony to the 
insufficiency of morality to save the soul from the 
wrath to come ; and to show that nothing short 
of experiencing the new birth, being born of the 
incorruptible Seed and Word of God, that liveth 
and abideth forever, can effect our redemption out 
of the fallen state which we are in by nature. 

27th. At our own little meeting to-day, my 
mouth was opened in the ministry, it being the 
first time in this way since my return from my 
late visit. 

I have had secretly and silently to mourn over 
the Lord's heritage, fearing at times, lest it should 
be altogether given to reproach. But through 
mercy, a grain of faith hath been extended, so that 
I believe a*remnant will be bought through the 
siege, who will have a song of deliverance to sing 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 69 

unto the Captain of their soul's salvation. May 
these keep low and humble in every movement. 

30rh. O gracious God, preserve me from the 
whisperings of Satan — from fears within, and tu- 
mults without. O Rock of my salvation, my shield 
and buckler, and only sure defence, suffer me not 
to swerve to the right hand or to the left, but hold 
me, keep me in thy holy hand forever. Thou hast 
been my strength and firm support all my life long. 
Thou hast brought me through many trials and 
deep distresses, many painful conflicts, both of body 
and spirit, even when death appeared near, and the 
grave seemed ready to receive me ; then didst 
thou make bare thy holy Arm of divine and match- 
less power for my deliverance, that I might declare 
of thy goodness and unfailing mercy, and make 
known thy righteous judgments. O holy Father 
forsake me not in this season of distress, when our 
city is compassed about with many enemies, her 
walls broken down and her gates burned with lire, 
but mercifully condescend to enable me rightly to 
distinguish between that which is begotten of 
Thee — *the holy just and pure seed of divine life, 
and that which is from a contrary source. Thou 
knowest that above all things I desire to be found 
pressing forward in the strait and holy way, walk- 
ing in thy pure fear and divine counsel— for out 
of this I find no true enjoyment — all else leaves 
but a sting. But in this my soul doth rejoice that 
with thee there is fulness of joy, and at thy right 
hand are pleasures forevermore. 

First mo. 1st. 1830. Attended the funeral of 
Prince Wing, a worthy Friend and Elder, belong- 
ing to Westport Monthly Meeting ; a large con- 
course of people was collected on the occasion, and 
opportunity was furnished to declare Truth's testi- 



70 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

mony amongst them, and the doctrines of the gos- 
pel were, I trust, livingly set forth to the praise of 
Him whose is the work, and whose is the power 
and dominion forever. 

Second mo. 19th, Yesterday at our little meet- 
ing, I felt my mind comforted, with a renewed ev- 
idence that it is not a vain thing to wait upon 
the Lord, although He may for wise purposes seem 
to delay his coming ; being much confirmed in the 
belief, that His time is always the best. Of this, 
I had a little to communicate, and felt peace therein. 

Having felt the spring of gospel ministry to be 
much shut up for some weeks, I am abundantly 
confirmed in this, that it is our great interest strictly 
to attend to the shuttings, as well as to the openings 
of the seals. O ! that all who minister before the 
Lord, may be especially careful of kindling a fire 
and warming themselves by their own sparks ; 
seeing the consequences are truly awful. Oh Lord, 
preserve rcn, both on the right hand and on the 
left, from tne temptations of Satan in seasons of 
poverty and inward want, and also in those of di~ 
vine favor and enlargement of heart. Then, O 
gracious God, cause me to know mine end, and the 
measure of my days, and how frail I am — poor 
dust and ashes. Thou only art the fountain from 
which all and every good proceedeth. 

2 1st. The burial of an aged Friend took place 
at our meeting to-day. A very mixed assemblage 
of people were present ; nevertheless it pleased the 
blessed Author of all good, to raise me up in testis 
mony to the exaltation of His glorious Truth, as 
from the depths of weakness, poverty and distress ; 
my very soul having been of late plunged into deep 
baptisms, and under as sore a conflict of spirit, I 
think I may say, as I ever witnessed. But in this 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 71 

meeting, Truth reigned over all, at least for a sea- 
son, triumphing over all the powers of darkness. 
O ! my soul hath renewed cause to say from living 
experience, the Lord God of Hosts remaineth to 
be the present Helper of his people ; — blessed be 
his holy Name and power for this and for every 
other of his mercies, saith my soul. 

22d. Weak and feeble in body, yet peaceful and 
quiet in mind, fully believing the superintending care 
of an all wise and watchful Providence is over and 
round about me, and that He will enable me to per- 
form all that He may be pleased to require at my 
hand. Trust in the Lord at all times, O my soul ! 
for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. 

Third mo. 22d. It hath appeared to me of late, 
on taking a solemn view of the situation of the 
foremost ranks in our Society, that our standing is 
indeed comparable to that which John in the Reve- 
lations saw, even a sea of glass mingled with fire. 
O ! how awfully precarious ; how brittle the glass ! 
how destructive the fire ! the heat of creaturely 
warmth and imagination. O Lord, I humbly be- 
seech thee of thy mercy, quicken us to see the 
danger that awaits us, if in any degree thy pure 
fear and holy counsel is departed from, and we be- 
come wise in our own eyes, and prudent in our own 
conceit. O ! grant that our spiritual eye may be 
renewedly anointed, and enlightened by thy divine 
power, that we may discern the beast and false 
prophet, under whatever form he may appear to 
deceive, or to ensnare. O make bare thine holy 
Arm, thou who didst cut Rahab and wound the 
dragon ; for unless thou art pleased to undertake 
for us, and keep us by thine own preserving power, 
we shall fall by the hand of a cruel enemy, who 
hath already encroached upon our precious heritage, 



72 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

and hath spoiled some of our choice plants, and 
marred some noble vines. But, O Lord, thou art 
omnipotent ! Thou canst turn back the overflowing 
scourge, and at thy command, this sea of difficulties 
shall flee away and Jordan's waves be driven back. 

Third mo. 31st. Attended our Select Quarterly 
Meeting which was exceedingly trying. There is 
manifestly that amongst us which has not its origin 
in the pure simplicity of the unchangeable Truth, 
but feeds on that which is of another nature and 
kind, being vainly puffed up, and high in conceit 
of itself; whereas Truth is simple and lowly, and 
only flourishes and grows in the humble self abased 
heart, the heart that is reduced and brought down 
as into the valley of true and unfeigned humilia- 
tion ; a state wherein it has nothing to rejoice in, 
but the mercy of God, through Jesus Christ our 
blessed Redeemer. 

Next day our Quarterly Meeting for the members 
at large, was held ; the meeting for worship was a 
quiet and solid opportunity — that for business, very 
exercising. O, how hard for the creaturely part in 
us to be still and in subjection. Great wisdom 
would it be for us, to do nothing where we have 
nothing to do. O Lord, enable me patiently to 
suffer in secret and in silence, all the days of my 
life, if it be thy blessed will, rather than to coun- 
teract the charge given to the daughters of Jerusa- 
lem, by stirring up or kindling a fire, and warming 
myself with sparks which are but my own ; for I 
have no belief that that which comes not from 
Thee, can gather to thee, neither that thou wilt 
give thy praise unto another, nor thy glory to gra- 
ven images. 

Fourth mo. 11th. My health rather feeble, and 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 73 

my provision, inward poverty, which I have much 
desired to be -strengthened to endure the Master's 
full time, not at all doubting, but that He, who 
deigns to bless the provision of Zion, and to satisfy 
her poor with bread, will, as this dispensation is 
rightly abode under, yet cause the tongue of the 
dumb to speak forth His praises, and the thirsty 
land to become as springs of water, 

15th. This day at our own little meeting, my 
mind was favored with fresh encouragement, from 
the feeling evidence that divine goodness was near* 
I had to speak of the Lord's merciful dealing with 
His creature man ; how that all his dispensations, 
however afflicting they may seem to us, are gracious- 
ly designed to purify and to cleanse our hearts, and 
to draw us nearer to Himself ; it was indeed a sea- 
son of favor to us, and peculiarly so to me, having 
been for some weeks mostly shut up as to words 
in our meetings ; but I do not repine at this, be- 
lieving that He hath a gracious purpose in all He 
does, and that my stripping, proving seasons, will, 
if the fault be not my own, work together for my 
furtherance in the way of life and salvation. 

18th. We were favored at our meeting to-day, 
to rejoice in Him, who lives forever and ever, 
blessed and praised be His holy Name, saith my 
soul. 

Fifth mo. 2d. Attended Long Plain meeting, 
which was to me, painful and distressing, never- 
theless, I had a testimony amongst them, which to 
the deceitful, hypocritical, and self-justifying pro- 
fessors, was close and searching, but to the mourn- 
ers in Zion encouragement was afforded — blessed 
be the Lord, who alone is our helper. O Lord 
God of Hosts, send us help from thy holy sanctu- 
ary ; O send forth thy light and thy Truth, and 
therewith search the tabernacle of Jacob, even 
7 



74 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

family by family, and individual by individual j 
the husbands apart and the wives apart, that every 
root and seed of the wicked one, may be seen and 
detected by thy heart searching power, however, it 
may be speciously veiled or masked. Enlighten, I be- 
seech thee, O holy One, those whose eyes through 
self love are waxed dim, and cause thy people more 
and more to see the many heads and horns of that 
monster Self, who hath slain many thousands ; 
self love, self will, self righteousness, self reputa- 
tion and self seeking must be slain on the cross, 
death must pass on all that appertains to self, before 
we can live unto Christ Jesus, who is our light and 
our life. O, holy Father, have mercy upon thy 
people, and spare thine heritage from reproach. 

Sixth mo. 6th. O Lord, make bare thine holy 
arm of power for my support, and preserve me 
from the power of the enemy ; keep my soul near 
unto thee, the only place of safety, O fountain of 
everlasting love ; that so in heights, and in depths, 
in sufferings and abonndings, my strong hold may 
be on that Rock which is immovable, and into 
which no shaft of the enemy can enter. Unworthy 
of the least of thy mercies as I am, yet hast thou 
graciously condescended once more to lift my head 
above the waters, and to open the way for some 
relief in our meeting to day, which is cause of re- 
newed thankfulness of heart unto thee, the eternal 
Author of all our blessings. 

27th. O Lord, enable me to resign all into thy holy 
hand ; body, soul, and spirit, for Thou only art, and 
ever hast been, the hiding place and sure refuge 
from the storms and tempests which await and as- 
sail us, in this tribulated scene. ? gracious Father, 
thou only knowest the inward exercises and deep 
plungings of my poor mind, under the weight of 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 75 

apprehended duty. I pray thee to be near, to bear 
up and support me, that my faith fail not. O, 
strengthen the little grain remaining, that through 
thy blessed assistance, I may be enabled to press 
forward through every besetment, both within and 
without, in the way thou art pleased to direct. 

2Sth. Search me O Lord, and know my heart, 
try me and know my thoughts, and if there beany 
wicked thing in me, of thy mercy purge it away, 
wash me and cleanse me by the refining opera- 
tions of thy power — the rene wings of the Holy 
Ghost upon my heart ; but take not thy Holy Spirit 
from me, for when thou art absent, thou who art in- 
deed more excellent than the mountains of prey, I 
find no comfort nor satisfaction in any thing which 
this world can afford ; but all true enjoyment is 
fled, all is but vanity without thy cheering, soul sus- 
taining presence. Thou hast seen meet to try 
me with poverty, and to feed me with the bread of 
adversity for a long season, nevertheless I will 
still trust in thee, for of a truth thy compassion 
is very great, and thy mercies fail not. Thou 
woundest but to heal, thou killest but to make 
alive ; therefore I beseech thee O Father of mercy, 
preserve me in humble patience until thou art 
pleased to unveil thy countenance, and shine upon 
my dwelling, to the consolation of thy poor de- 
pendent child, whose lot it is often secretly to weep 
as between the porch and the altar, crying — spare 
thy people, O Lord, and give not thine heritage to 
reproach. [ sat in meeting to-day as with a seal 
upon my lips, not daring to form to myself an 
image either in the likeness of any thing that is in 
heaven above, or in the earth beneath, however 
great the expectations of the people might be, and 
however as a fool I might appear ; fully believing 
that no sacrifice will be acceptable to the Lord 



76 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

but that which is of his own preparing. O gracious 
holy Father, enable me to endure the night of thy 
absence, and strengthen me to keep inward, whether 
for a longer or a shorter season, that when it shall 
please thee to appear, I may be found worthy to 
appear with thee, to the honor of thy most ex- 
cellent name.. 

Seventh mo. 21st. O Lord, I will bless and extol 
thy holy name forever, for thou art good ; — thou 
hast been mindful of me when deeply tried and 
tossed as on the mighty ocean ; thou hast strength- 
ened my hope and confirmed my faith in thee, who 
art the Lord omnipotent. O preserve me in thy holy 
fear and counsel ; keep me low and humble before 
thee, O Shepherd of Israel. 

28th. To-day at our Monthly Meeting we were 
favored to partake of heavenly refreshment ; bless 
the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his benefits. 

Eighth mo. 2&th. The present is a season of deep 
humiliation, self abasement and close inward con- 
flict, graciously designed (I believe) to promote and 
further the work of purification in my heart. Grant, 
O righteous Father, that it may not pass unim- 
proved* 

27th. O let judgment run down as waters and 
righteousness as a mighty stream, that judgment 
may pass over all the unclean, and all the dregs of 
trangressing nature may be swept and washed away 
in the fountain and boundless ocean of divine love 
and mercy, through faith in the efficacious aton- 
ing blood of Jesus Christ my blessed and holy 
Redeemer ; that righteousness may indeed become 
the girdle of my loins, and faithfulness the girdle 
of my reins. 

Ninth mo. 2d. 1 am just emerging from a dis- 
tressing sickness with which I have been confined 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 77 

for nearly three weeks, and for a few days was 
doubtful of recovering from it, yet it has pleased 
my heavenly Father so far to restore me, as that I 
am enabled through this medium to commemorate 
His great mercy, and tender loving kindness, vouch- 
safed in this season of trial, to me an unworthy 
worm of the dust. May I never forget His con- 
descending goodness, who by His eternal arm of 
divine power sustained my soul in the depths of 
distress ; but reverently bow before Him who is the 
great I AM, the first and the last, prostrating myself 
at His feet, and forever acknowledging that I am a 
debtor to His boundless mercy through Jesus Christ 
our Lord. 

Keep silence before Him, O all flesh, — O Lord 
subject and subdue all my heart, my thoughts, 
words, deeds, and desires, and bring them into a con* 
formity to thy divine will, For thou hast of thy 
free mercy taught and shown me that the creature 
must be still, in order rightly to understand thy 
divine law and to witness a qualification to obey its 
sacred injunctions. 

Be still and know that I am God ! — the Lord of 
Hosts, the King of glory, — the Lord mighty in 
battle,- — the Branch of righteousness, — the root 
and offspring of David, — the bright and morning 
star — the foundation and corner stone of the saints' 
faith and eternal hope of salvation — Elect and pre- 
cious unto all that believe — the Wonderful Coun- 
selor, — the mighty God, — the everlasting Fa- 
ther — 'the Prince of peace, of the increase of whose 
government and peace there shall be no end ; — the 
everlasting Shepherd and holy bridegroom of souls ; 
the promised Seed and Messiah — who trod the 
wine-press alone, and no man stood with Him, — 
who is clothed with a vesture dipped in blood, and 

His name is called the Word of God : who rules 

7 * 



78 



MEMOIRS OF 



[1830 



the nations with a rod of iron, for He is King of 
kings and Lord of lords, — and hath a sword girded 
upon his thigh ; the Lion of the tribe of Judah ; the 
Lamb slain from the foundation of the world • who 
is the propitiaton for the sins of the whole world, our 
advocate, intercessor and mediator ; yea, the blessed 
author and finisher of the saints' faith, even the 
salvation of their souls. The Immanuel, God 
with us, who was miraculously conceived of the 
Holy Ghost and born of the blessed virgin — suffered 
without the gates of Jerusalem, was buried and 
rose again the third day, and is ascended up into 
heaven where he sitteth at the right of the Ma- 
jesty on high making intercession for us. Rejoice, 
O ye Heavens, and shout for joy ye inhabitants of 
the earth, for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth 
and hath condescended to become our Leader and 
our Way — a Light to enlighten our dark path 
through this thorny maze — a Saviour to save us 
out of all our trouble. 

Ninth mo. 5th. Oh! my heavenly Father, do 
not desert me in this state of weakness and deep 
suffering, but be thou pleased to be graciously near, 
to preserve me from the snares and temptations of 
the wicked one, strengthen me to resist until I die ; 
bow my heart, and contrite my spirit before thee, 
O thou who hast in a wonderful manner, conde- 
scended to be my merciful deliverer and redeemer, 
out of the pit of pollution. Support my soul in 
every season of trial and conflict, for thou art my 
alone hope and defence, thou hast been my Guide, 
my morning star, who did, in infinite kindness en- 
lighten my infant understanding to see the awful 
consequences of continuing in a state of alienation 
from thee, and to see the necessity of repentance, 
and amendment of life, through faith in the atoning 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 79 

blood of the Lamb of God, and obedience unto the 
manifestations of the holy Spirit in my heart. And 
when I strayed from thy safe guidance, like a good 
shepherd and as a tender father, thou didst not 
fail to visit me with thy rod, thy fatherly chastise- 
ments in love, and to bring me back into thy holy 
fear; a place of safety. O Lord, thy goodness 
hath followed me all my life long ; let thy preserv- 
ing power be over and round about, to protect and 
defend me from all danger, that as thou hast deigned 
to be my morning light, so thou mayest be pleased 
to be my evening song. 

15th. I still remain feeble in body, yet have 
rode half a mile this morning, for the benefit of 
the air, which is truly reviving. 

O, thou gracious keeper and protector of thy 
children, preserve me from the snares of the old 
deceiver, who as a twining serpent is lurking about 
secretly to ensnare, and draw me into that which 
will assuredly bring distress and sorrow of heart. 
I am weak and frail, and without thee can do noth- 
ing ; but thy grace is sufficient for all things. En- 
able me, holy Father, to set a double guard at the 
door of my lips, for O the unruliness of the tongue ! 
how hard to be kept in subjection to thy holy cross. 
Well might the holy Apostle say, if any man of- 
fend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and 
able also to bridle the whole body. I am deeply 
sensible of the need of keeping a watch over my 
words as well as actions, humbly craving thy di- 
vine aid and preserving care over me, knowing in- 
deed, from living experience, that except the Lord 
keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. 

16th. Reading in the Bible to-day, I was partic- 
ularly struck with a passage in the first epistle of 
Paul to the Thessalonians, 3d chapter, 12th and 
13th verses, " And the Lord make you to increase 



80 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

1 and abound in love one toward another, and to- 
1 ward all men, even as we do toward you ; to 
1 the end he may establish your hearts unblame- 
c able in holiness before God, even our Father, at 
6 the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his 
1 Saints. " O the excellency of that love with 
which the mind of that holy man of God was 
fraught. How fervent his entreaties and supplica- 
cations for their steadfast abidance in, and firm 
obedience to that faith, which they had been made 
partakers of, even that which works by love, to the 
purifying of the heart from all dead works, and from 
all unrighteousness, that nothing might be suffered 
to turn them aside therefrom, and beguile them of 
the reward of sweet peace. O that this pure and 
precious badge of discipleship may increase, and 
abound more and more in my heart, and in the hearts 
of my dear brethren and sisters in religious profess- 
ion. For great is the want of more of this pure 
genuine gospel love amongst us, which would as- 
suredly qualify us to submit one unto another in 
love, in honor prefering one another, for Christ's 
sake, who so loved us that He laid down his pre- 
cious life for our sakes that we should not hence- 
forth live unto ourselves, but unto Him who died 
for us and rose again. 

O that there might be no self-seeking amongst 
us, but that every germ of self-love and self-will 
might be eradicated from our hearts, and we laid 
low, even in the dust, under an humbling sense of 
our entire dependence, and utter inability to do any 
good thing without the help of the Holy Spirit ; 
and of our unworthiness of the least of all the 
mercies of our heavenly Father ; then I believe the 
glory of the Lord would shine upon us, and we 
should again witness the lifting up of the light of 
His countenance upon us, and feel his supporting 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 81 

presence to be near, and roundabout us, even in our 
solemn assemblies, to the rejoicing and gladdening 
the hearts of the upright and sincere, even as it 
was wont to be, in the gathered assemblies of our 
worthy predecessors. O that our eye and expecta- 
tion may be wholly fixed on thee, only seeking to 
promote thy glory O Lord, and to advance thy blessed 
Kingdom of righteousness and peace. Then, and 
not till then, can we repose ourselves in confidence 
under the shadow of thy holy wing. 

17th. I do not feel able to attend our select 
preparative meeting which is held to-day, the dis- 
tance being four miles ; but I desire that the good 
presence of the Lord may be felt amongst them, 
and his holy power prevail over all opposition, that 
the hearts of the faithful may be renewedly strength- 
ened and replenished, as with a crumb of that 
bread which is truly nourishing to the hungry and 
fainting soul. O Lord forsake not thine heritage, but 
graciously condescend to remember thy wrestling 
seed. For verily thou hast a seed, although it may" 
be very small ; a little remnant that are seeking 
after thee, that are preferring the way of Zion, to 
any other consideration. May thy compassionate 
regard be unto this little scattered seed, wherever 
it may be found in the earth ; O shield them by 
thy invincible arm of divine power in every trial 
and proving conflict. And grant, O holy Father, that 
all who have departed from thy divine Truth may 
yet see and understand their errors — may see the 
snares of the enemy and escape his wiles. If con- 
sistent with thy pure wisdom, cause them to know 
their transgressions, and understand their wrong, 
while repentance may be had, and reconciliation is 
offered. 

20th. Many are the afflictions which await us in 
this probationary state, much exercise and concern 



82 MEMOIRS OF [1S30 

attend our minds on various accounts, a continual 
watching and fasting is necessary against our potent 
enemy, lest he get any advantage over us, by our 
yielding to the manifold temptations which he is 
continually casting into our hearts. Well may it 
be said that the christian's life is a continual warfare, 
and we- have great need of being often engaged in 
prayer and supplication, to the God and Father of 
all our sure mercies, for the strength and assistance 
of His holy spirit, to enable us to preserve a con- 
science void of offence towards God and man. 

22d. About this time I had expected to leave 
home ; having for some length of time had a pros- 
pect of making a religious visit to Friends of 
Purchase, Ninepartners, and Stanford Quarterly 
Meetings in New- York, also some other meetings 
adjacent, and obtained certificates of concurrence 
from our Monthly and Quarterly Meetings on that 
account ; but an all-wise Providence hath seen meet 
to dispose of me otherwise. It hath seemed good 
unto Him, the blessed author of all good, to visit 
me with sickness, whereby I have been confined for 
nearly two months ; by which I have been reduced 
and brought very low, when I had to enter into a 
close examination and scrutiny of the past, and, in 
an especial manner to inspect the moving principle 
of this my intended journey, and the cause of 
my being so suddenly prevented. I feared lest 
I might have been mistaken ; but trying the fleece 
both wet and dry, I could not find but as far as 
I have gone, the steps I have taken, have been 
in obedience to my heavenly Father's will ; whose 
undoubted right it is to lead forward as far as He 
pleases, and to stay us when and where He pleases, 
and in what way may best suit His wisdom, which 
is infinite and unsearchable ; and through divine 



1830] SARAH TUCKER. 83 

favor it has settled peacefully on my mind, feeling 
at this time submission to His holy will. 

I think I can of a truth say, that nothing of a 
like nature, had ever been submitted to more in the 
Cross to my own will, than to give up to perform 
this visit, for several causes, one of which was my 
very slender health. I was ready at times to 
conclude that I could not endure the traveling and 
consequent exercises of such a journey, the grand 
enemy suggesting that if I left my home I should 
never return to it ; yet I could find no peace 
in turning from the subject, for it grew more 
and more weighty upon my spirit, so that after 
wading through many deep baptisms, and much 
close exercise, I was enabled through holy help, to 
cast all my concern upon Him who alone can pre- 
serve us ; and to surrender up all into his holy hand ; 
body, soul and spirit, in which I felt and still feel 
peace ; not knowing whether the service will ever 
be performed by me or not, feeling the burthen at 
present to be much taken from off my mind. But 
O righteous Father, if thou shouldest in thy inscru- 
table wisdom see meet to restore me to my wonted 
state of health, and art pleased to renew the con- 
cern in the clearness of gospel light, thine hand- 
maid will run at thy command without gainsaying. 
O thou great and mighty one, thou canst, and thou 
wilt send by whom thou wilt ; the work is thine, 
and thou alone canst prosper it. I am fully con- 
tent to be thy servant ; O enable me to serve thee 
faithfully unto the day of my dissolution, in up- 
rightness of heart, and in thy pure fear, even that 
which keepeth clean, and purifieth the heart from 
all that is obnoxious in thy holy presence; — then 
in doing or suffering, in abounding or in abase- 
ment, all will be well, and will tend to thy glory, 
and to the peace of mine own soul. 



84 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

23d, Attended the funeral of a pious friend and 
neighbor, in which I had a short testimony to bear, 
it being the first meeting I have attended since my 
late indisposition. 

24th. Weak and feeble in body, and humbly 
prostrate in soul, feeling a lively sense of the gra- 
cious and merciful dealings of the Lord with me, 
in that He condescended to visit me in the morning 
of my day, and hath in unmerited mercy contin- 
ued the extension of His divine care and Provi- 
dence over me even until now. O my blessed 
Saviour, be thou pleased still to be near, and enable 
me by thy grace, to do my days 5 work in the day 
time. O renew my hope, my strength, and con- 
fidence in thee, thou almighty helper, that all 
which thou requirest may be done according to 
thy holy will ; for thou only art my strength, my 
buckler and my shield, yea, my alone hope of 
salvation. 

30th. Attended our own meeting at Newtown, it 
being the first time since my recent illness. It was 
small, and the forepart painfully laborious, yet our 
holy Shepherd was mindful of us in the extending 
of his gathering arm to such as had turned from 
the way of truth. O ! His unfailing mercy, how 
great to the children of men ! yea, exceeding 
great ; so indeed it appeared to me to-day, as well 
as at many other seasons. 

Tenth mo. 4th. Yesterday at meeting my mind 
was led to contrast the situation of the wicked 
with that of the righteous, in an especial manner 
in seasons of trouble and distress — when with an 
holy confidence the upright and humbly confiding 
heart can intercede for, and will most assuredly 
obtain in the Lord's time, deliverance out of all its 
afflictions ; but what refuge have those to flee to, 



1830 SARAH TUCKER. 85 

who are rebellious, and will not obey his divine 
call, to forsake their wicked ways and their un- 
righteous doings, and to return to the Lord who 
will have mercy, and will abundantly pardon the 
truly penitent. The meeting was solemn, and a 
favored season, 

24th. (First day.) Attended New Bedford meet- 
ing to my own satisfaction, experiencing divine 
help to be graciously afforded — for which I de- 
sire to be truly thankful. 

Eleventh mo. 7th. I may now remark, that 
within four months I have lost a beloved brother 
and sister, which I trust has been a fresh incite- 
ment to diligence in making the best improvement 
of my precious time. May I be enabled through 
thy blessed aid, O almighty Helper, so to occupy 
in thy holy fear, as that at thy coming I may be 
prepared to hear the joyful welcome, of " Come 
ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom pre- 
pared for you from the foundation of the world." 

I attended the funeral of my sister ; it was in- 
deed a solemn and interesting opportunity. My 
heart was for sometime like a vessel that wanted 
vent, but the Lord was pleased in His own time to 
open the way for my relief, giving me to bear 
amongst my dear relatives and former neighbors 
an heart searching and powerful testimony to the 
glory of his own grace. Forget not, O my soul, 
the goodness of thy God in the day of deep dis- 
tress, but bless and magnify His holy name and 
power forever. In the evening we (the remaining 
part of our family) also had a religious opportunity 
together, which was a favored season : O that it 
may be remembered by us all to profit. 

16th. Grant me patience and strength, O 
Lord, to endure whatever trial thou mayest 
8 



86 MEMOIRS OF [1830 

permit to overtake me ; enable me to resign up 
all to thee. Thou knowest best what is best 
for me, — I humbly trust thou wilt feed me with 
that food which is most convenient for me. I de- 
sire to have no will of my own, but that thy 
blessed will may be done in by and through me, 
which will prove my purification, sanctification 
and eternal redemption, from all that would sepa- 
rate from thee. Thou knowest holy Father my 
daily need, supply my wants in thy own way and 
time, and through thy blessed aid I hope to be 
content therewith. 

Twelfth mo. 5th. Last fourth and fifth days 
our Quarterly Meeting was held at New Bedford, 
which I attended under a deep sense of sorrow, 
on account of the trying state of things amongst 
us ; I sensibly felt the force of the language of 
the Prophet when he said, " I was bowed down 
at the hearing of it ; I was dismayed at the see- 
ing of it. 7 ' I am abundantly convinced that hu- 
mility is the only safe ground for us to keep upon, 
that it best becomes poor finite, short sighted and 
frail mortals, to lay low as in the dust ; for what 
are we ? Entirely dependent, having no might, 
nor strength, but must forever acknowledge that 
from the Lord cometh all our help ; who is ever 
near to assist all that are of a truly humble and 
contrite heart. 

O Lord, when wilt thou be pleased to arise and 
scatter thine enemies, and whatever obstructs the 
coming of thy blessed kingdom in the hearts of 
the children of men ? Bring down every high 
thought and lay low every exalted imagination, 
that we may all come into a state in which thou 
wilt deign to teach and lead us, to keep and in- 
struct us, and to feed us with the bread and water 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 87 

of life. Enable me to watch and wait daily at thy 
feet even unto prayer, for many temptations are 
spread around, and I am but as a child ; yet in this 
will 1 rejoice and be glad, that thou art the strength 
of the poor and needy, their succorer, and their 
Saviour out of all their distresses. 

13th. For some days past my wadings have 
been deep, my trials keen, though mostly inward ; 
but the cup which my heavenly Father hath pre- 
pared for me shall I not drink ? Yea, I desire 
through divine assistance to receive it joyfully, for 
I do know experimentally that often is contained 
in the bitter potion, that which is truly healing 
and strengthening — a salutary balsam tending to 
bind up and restore to our wonted liveliness and 
activity. 

I am sometimes ready to fear lest the enemy of 
all good should prevail over me. I feel so poor, 
weak, and destitute of that which alone is good, 
that were it not for the revival of a little hope now 
and then, which is as a stay to my poor mind amidst 
its various tossings, and as a grain of faith which 
removes obstacles out of the way, I should be ready 
to faint. But blessed be the God and Father of all 
our sure mercies, I believe he is nearer in such sea- 
sons of painful desertion than we often appre- 
hend, as He is at times pleased unexpectedly to 
arise and by His own right hand of power to scat- 
ter and disperse every cloud, and to manifest His 
mercy and loving kindness with great clearness, 
which, blessed be his Holy name, was in a good 
degree the case in our meeting yesterday. There 
is abundant cause humbly to wait for, and to trust 
in Him who is Lord over all, worthy forever and 
forever more of all praise. 

First month, 5th ; 1831. O Thou, who givest 



88 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

unto all men liberally, wisdom and faith that ask 
it of thee in humble sincerity of heart, be pleased 
to look down upon me, an unworthy child, and of 
thy mercy grant me a portion of true and living 
faith, that I may thereby be enabled availingly to 
intercede for the preservation both of my own 
soul, and of my dear family. O Thou who art the 
strength of my life, my only rock of defence, I 
beseech thee of thine unmerited mercy, keep my 
dear children out of the snares of the wicked one, 
and preserve them out of the temptations and de- 
lusions of a vain world. O be thou with them 
and visit their tender minds with thy light and thy 
truth. O show unto them the exceeding sinful- 
ness of sin, enable them and strengthen them to 
bear thy holy cross in the morning of their day; 
to despise the shame, keeping a single eye to the 
recompense of reward. It is the desire of my 
heart that they may be thine, in deed and in truth, 
wholly devoted to serve thee and to confess thee 
before men, in this day wherein many even in our 
Society, have degenerated from the pure princi- 
ples and precious testimonies of our worthy pre- 
decessors. O blessed Jesus, the author of the 
saints' faith, hope and salvation, preserve them in 
thy fear and holy counsel, suffer them to find no 
peace, but in obedience to thy pure truth, that it 
may be well with them both here and hereafter. 

8th. Although in the allwise ordering of a gra- 
cious Providence, I am rarely led to walk on high 
ground, but much more often to sit in low places, 
as with my mouth in the dust, yet I humbly trust 
that He whose I am, and whom I wish to serve 
with all reverence, will mercifully deign to receive 
me at last to a mansion of rest and peace : this is 
all I desire or can ask. Thou only knowest. O 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 89 

Lord, the travail, the exercise, and the panting of 
my heart to know a purified and sanctified state, 
redeemed out of all and from all, that would rob 
me of this precious hope. I have nothing to boast 
of, or to glory in, but my manifold weaknesses and 
infirmities, which are both of body and mind ; but 
thou art a gracious and merciful high priest touched 
with a feeling of our infirmities, ever ready to 
compassionate our low estate, to help us and 
strengthen our faith and renew our confidence in 
Thee, the lifter up of those that are cast down, 
and a present help in every time of need. 

12th. Lord, I am not mine own ; am I not bought 
with a price ? yea, verily, and that not with silver or 
gold which perisheth, but with the precious blood 
of the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin 
of the world. O then suffer not my heart to be di- 
vided or engrossed with the things of time and 
sense, whereby my affections may be imperceptibly 
drawn from thee ; but enable me O Thou who art 
clothed with power and might, so to watch and 
pray continually, as that I may experience preser- 
vation out of all the snares of my potent enemy, 
and from all evil both on the right hand and on the 
left. Thou knowest the secret prayer of my heart 
to be more fully and faithfully devoted to thy ser- 
vice — the spirit truly is willing but the flesh is 
weak, Strengthen thou me holy Father, and con- 
descend to lead and instruct me, and I will obey ; 
through divine grace I will surrender all into thy 
holy hand, desiring that thy blessed will may be 
accomplished in and by me, a poor worm, 

16th. Not able to attend meeting to-day, on ac- 
count of a violent storm of snow and wind, yet un- 
der an humiliating sense of the great goodness of 
him who controlleth the winds and the waves, and 

8* 



90 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

setteth unto them their bounds, I trust I can thank- 
fully acknowledge and commemorate His manifold 
mercies and reverently desire to praise Him with a 
pure heart, and to exalt His name with sanctified 
lips ; for He hath been the preserver and sustainer 
of my life. 

The poor and destitute have been brought to my 
remembrance with feelings of pity and compassion ; 

that my heart may ever be open and tender to- 
ward these. 

30th. I have missed several meetings of late both 
on account of the difficulty of travelling and indis- 
position of body. Feel low and deserted, yet 
trust I shall not be utterly forsaken of the sure 
Helper of the helpless and needy. O Lord let not 
these afflictions which I do indeed esteem as 
mercies, be lost upon me, but enable me so to 
receive and acknowledge them in humble submis^- 
sion, as that they may be graciously sanctified 
to my soul. O how precious is the language, 
M Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, 

1 also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, 
which shall come upon all the world, to try them 
that dwell upon the earth." O how necessary are 
these refining seasons, these purifying baptisms, in 
order to keep us low and humble, to keep clean our 
hearts in the divine sight. I know they have been 
profitable to me, and productive of solid good ; so 
that I can hail them as messengers fraught with di- 
vine love to my soul. 

Second mo. 6th. A jealousy sometimes per- 
vades my mind lest I am too much afraid of suffer- 
ing. I know it will not do to think too much of 
these poor bodies; — it is meet that we should be 
willing to suffer for our blessed Redeemer's sake, 
even unto death. These are His words, "He that 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 91 

findeth his life shall lose it : and he that loseth his life 
for my sake shall find it." O Almighty Helper, suffer 
not the enemy to gain any advantage over my weak- 
ness, but be mercifully pleased to strengthen and 
enable me to hold out, and to persevere unto the 
end, through every discouragement, most assuredly 
believing that thy grace is sufficient to make us 
more than conquerors over all trials and tempta- 
tions, or any other thing that may intervene to ob- 
struct our progress toward that glorious mansion of 
rest and peace, which thou hast prepared for all 
those who are willing to deny themselves, take up 
their daily cross, and follow thee. 

11th. Yesterday I was favored to attend our 
meeting, and was therein enabled to partake of a 
little crumb of divine refreshment having my spirit 
bowed under a melting sense of the great goodness 
of our heavenly Father towards us, in all his deal- 
ings and dispensations. Sat the meeting through 
in peaceful silence. 

14th. O Lord God of Hosts, the humble peti- 
tion of my heart to thee this morning, is for pre- 
servation and safe keeping ; deeply sensible that I 
cannot of myself save myself from surrounding 
dangers, but must fall unless thou interpose thy 
mercy for my escape. O quicken me now in the 
decline of life, to see, and to feel the great need of 
still cleaving close unto Thee, the Rock of my 
salvation, who hast hitherto been graciously pleased 
ofttimes to make bare thine holy arm for my de- 
liverance. Suffer me not, holy One, to counteract 
thy divine will, but strengthen me to endure for 
thy name's sake, whatever thou mayest see meet to 
allot unto me for the further trial of my faith and 
patience, that so thy merciful designs may be fully 
accomplished, and thus work for me a far more ex- 
ceeding and eternal weight of glory. 



92 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

17th. Grant me righteous Father to witness 
oftener than the morning, the operation of thy re- 
redeeming, heart cleansing power upon my soul, 
that no part or particle of that which is not 
of thee may be spared, but that all may be cruci- 
fied by the baptismal influence of the Holy Ghost 
and fire. O ! how can mortals be idle and uncon- 
cerned, seeing they have so much to do, such an 
host of enemies to encounter, so many snares laid, 
baits set and temptations spread, to delude, entrap 
and bring into thraldom probationers destined for 
eternity. Truly, in order to keep the ground and 
maintain the combat as becomes Christian travelers, 
we have no time to spare for the indulgence of the 
carnal mind, or fleshly appetites, but ought always 
to watch and pray without fainting, lest the grand 
enemy who is continually seeking for an occasion 
to vaunt himself over us, should succeed in his de- 
signs upon us, and we have sorrowfully to witness 
a falling back as in the rear; for I have no doubt 
but our holy Head and High priest who is touched 
with a feeling of our infirmities, and is a helper at 
hand, would enable us, as the eye of our mind 
was kept in singleness unto Him, to bruise the ser- 
pent's head, strengthening us to resist all his temp- 
tations — ye?, to make us more than conquerors 
through faith in His name, 

21st. O dearest Lord, strengthen me to resist, 
as I do abhor and detest the insinuations, tempta- 
tions and provocations of the grand seducer of 
souls, and whatever may tend in the least degree 
to excite to evil, for without thy holy aid I some- 
times fear I shall yet fall a prey, being but a weak 
and frail worm. But thy grace is all-sufficient. 
Blessed Saviour, interpose thy grace and strengthen 
me with might in the inner man to stand against 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 93 

the inundations of the potent enemy, whose buffet- 
ings, temptations and provocations have been very 
severe and heavy upon me of late. O Lord, thou 
only knowest the depth of my inward suffering 
both by day and by night, so that I am ready to 
query why it is thus with me ? Why am I so se- 
verely tried ? I think I feel willing to serve thee 
in any way thou shalt point out, and to do thy 
will as far as it is revealed. But although my cup 
hath of late been a bitter one, yet I can thankfully 
acknowledge that at seasons my heart hath had 
humblingly to rejoice that my faith remains un- 
shaken in the power and all-sufficiency of Him 
who died for sinners, and who is touched with a 
feeling of our infirmities, and was in all points 
tempted like as we are, yet without sin, that He is 
still able to succor, and to deliver from the power 
of satan, all those who put their whole trust in Him. 
Thus mercifully favored as with a grain of living 
faith, I am at times enabled to exclaim even in the 
very heat of the battle, I will not let thee go, ex- 
cept thou bless me, and though thou slay me, yet 
will I trust in thee. O grant me therefore thine 
holy word of patience, that I may be kept perfect 
and entire unto thy coming : for thou wilt yet 
come and fill my poor deserted heart with thy 
cheering presence when it is thoroughly purged 
from every defilement. That it may be thus pre- 
pared is the ardent prayer of my soul. 

Third mo. 19th. Yesterday I attended our se- 
lect preparative meeting held at New Bedford, 
which was I think one of the most suffering and 
painfully exercising seasons I ever witnessed. O 
Lord be graciously pleased to preserve thy hum- 
ble dependent children, whose only trust is in thy 
mercy ; who have no might nor strength of their 



94 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

own. O gracious Father, keep them as in the hol- 
low of thy holy hand, until the fury of this awful 
blast from the wilderness be overpast, and enable 
us to watch, and to pray continually unto thee, who 
remainest to be a God hearing prayer, that we may 
escape the temptations of the wicked one, who is 
making great efforts to advance his kingdom ; and 
under a specious covering is seeking to exalt him- 
self in the hearts of some of whom I have believed 
and expected better things ; where he would fain 
sit as judge, and be worshipped. 

But O holy Father, thy hand is not shortened 
that it cannot save, neither is thine ear grown 
heavy that it cannot hear — O then succor us we 
humbly beseech thee in all our trials and difficul- 
ties, and of thine unmerited mercy grant us patience 
to bear and forbear in Christian meekness ; and 
with feelings of true pity, and under the gathering 
influence of thy love, secretly to labor for a resto- 
ration of that which seems ready to perish. Re- 
new O Lord our trust and humble confidence in 
thee, and grant unto thy little ones the shield of 
living, saving faith, even that whereby we may be 
enabled to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked 
one, that through thy never failing power and 
goodness, we may be made victorious over the 
beast and his image. 

Fourth mo. 8th. Bless the Lord O my soul, 
and forget not all his benefits. Thou Lord hast 
been a strength to the needy in his distress, a cov- 
ert from the storm, and as the shadow of a great 
rock in a weary land. 

11th. Under an humbling sense of my own 
weakness and frailty, O Lord, all that can feel 
within me, is raised to implore thy mercy for safe 
keeping through the remaining baptisms I may yet 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 95 

have to pass. Beset with trials and tempted with 
fears, to Thee I come, O thou who art mighty to 
save and strong to deliver the humble soul that 
trusteth in thy power. In looking toward our So- 
ciety sorrow fills my heart, because an enemy hath 
entered the borders of our Zion, and greatly de- 
molished her beauty and eclipsed her brightness, 
yetO Shepherd of Israel, arise for thy mercy's sake 
and for thy holy name's sake and redeem her even 
by the spirit of judgment and burning from every 
defilement, that her reproach may yet be wiped 
away, and we yet be what thou hast graciously 
designed us to be, a people to show forth thy praise. 
23d. Bowed in spirit, in a fresh and living sense 
of the continued goodness of the Shepherd of Is- 
rael, I have been enabled to beg for strength to 
persevere in resignation, and true dedication of 
heart in the path of duty, under his holy guidance 
and direction. 

Fifth mo. 22d. O Lord be mercifully pleased 
to strengthen every good desire and righteous in- 
tent of my heart, and weaken every inordinate af- 
fection and propensity to evil. Teach me daily 
submission to thy holy cross, plunge me again and 
again as into the very bottom of Jordan, that I 
may be purified and redeemed from all that is im- 
pure, and thus be made more and more conform- 
able to thy divine image. Keep me low and hum- 
ble before thee, that so O Father thou mayest be 
pleased to be my Teacher, Leader and sure Keeper. 
Thou alone art able to succor and sustain, and to 
deliver out of the snares and temptations of satan. 
O Lord the power is thine, the glory is thine, who 
alone art worthy with the Son of thy love, the 
Lamb our Lord, of worship adoration and praise 
now and forever more. 



96 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

26th. Attended New Bedford Monthly Meet- 
ing, which was painfully exercising ; however to- 
ward the close of the meeting for business I felt the 
spring of life to arise, in which I had a testimony 
which was somewhat relieving to my mind. 1 de- 
sire thankfully to acknowledge thy kindness O 
Lord. 

29th. A crumb of living bread vouchsafed at 
our little meeting to-day. May I walk more and 
more worthy of thy notice and kind regard, O Thou 
who deignest to look down from thy high and holy 
habitation, to revive the spirits of the poor and con- 
trite ones who tremble at thy word. 

Sixth mo. 18th, The deep travail and exercise 
of spirit which I have had to wade under for seve- 
ral weeks (combined with much bodily indisposi- 
tion) is known only to thee, O Thou, who only 
canst fathom the heart of man, and knowest what 
is passing there. From a firm belief that thou 
dost take cognizance of all our ways, our thoughts 
and the intents of our hearts, I am enabled at sea- 
sons to derive hope, consolation and encourage- 
ment : — thou knowest holy Father those that are 
thine in heart, however tried and tossed they may 
be, and wilt hold them as in the hollow of thy 
holy hand. Draw near in thy mercy and strength- 
en my faith, yea renew my confidence and hope in 
thee, thou unfailing Helper, for I have no other 
refuge to flee unto but thy name and power, which 
is a glorious sanctuary and hiding place from the 
noise of the archers. O guide me, and guard me 
through every danger, and support in every con- 
flict by thine all sustaining presence, that through 
thy blessed aid, I may be enabled in holy confi- 
dence, and Christian patience to persevere unto the 
end, and finally be found worthy to enter that 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 97 

holy rest which thou hast prepared for all those 
that love the appearance of Jesus Christ in their 
hearts. 

22d. I may here observe that I was favored to 
attend our Yearly Meeting this year, which was 
preciously owned by the overshadowing wing of 
ancient goodness, through the several sittings there- 
of. O that we as a people may walk more and 
more worthy of the high favors conferred upon us, 
for most assuredly where much is given, much will 
be required. 

Eighth mo. 11th. Having felt for some time 
drawn in my mind towards the meeting in Allen's 
Neck, a branch of our Monthly Meeting, last First 
day I attended it, the fore part of which was heavy ; 
a cloud seemed to hang over us, and it appeared 
dark and gloomy, but through the arising of the 
Sun of righteousness which can disperse all clouds, 
light and life broke forth to my humbling admira- 
tion. Great indeed is the kindness and long suf- 
fering of Israel's unslumbering Shepherd towards a 
backsliding and rebellious people. Well might 
the holy prophet exclaim, " How great is his good- 
ness, and how great is his beauty !" 

16th. It is through deep suffering and baptisms 
that we are purified and prepared acceptably to do 
thy will O God, and surely if it became Him of 
whom are all things, and by whom are all things, 
in bringing many sons unto God, to make the Cap- 
tain of their salvation perfect through suffering, it 
becomes his followers to be humbly resigned to 
tread the path which He the Lord of Life and glory 
hath trod, knowing of a truth that tribulation work- 
eth patience, and patience experience, and experi- 
ence hope, even that blessed hope that maketh not 
ashamed, because the love of God through Jesus 
9 



93 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

Christ is shed abroad in our hearts, for which 
blessed hope's sake we gladly suffer all things 
which He in his wisdom may allot unto us, for if 
we suffer with Him and for his sake, we shall also 
reign with Him. 

17th. I visited a sick man ; one who had lived 
a rather loose and dissipated life, yet through infi- 
nite mercy was deeply and sensibly awakened in 
this sickness, by the immediate, powerful operation 
of divine grace on his mind, to see his undone and 
lost condition without speedy and sincere repent- 
ance and an amendment of life. He was in a broken 
and contrited state deeply deploring and condem- 
ning his past transgressions. It was indeed cause 
of thankfulness to find him thus brought down, 
as from the towering heights of vanity and folly, 
into the lowly valley of self-abasedness and self- 
abhorrence. Thy voice O Lord is powerful, it 
prostrateth the tall cedars of Lebanon, and causeth 
the sturdy oaks to bend ; when thou arisest to 
shake terribly the earth or earthly heart, then the 
high look and the stout heart are laid as in the 
dust, and thy power alone is exalted. O that men 
would praise thine excellent name, for all thy won- 
derful works, and be willing to bow in the day of 
thy merciful visitation to their souls, that it might 
be well with them in time and in eternity. 

21st. I have been for a few days much indispos- 
ed, yet am favored to feel divine support to be gra- 
ciously near, whereby my mind is kept from sinking. 
O how precious is thy love, sweet Lord Jesus ! 
how consoling thy presence ! more indeed to be 
desired than gold, yea, than much fine gold, sweeter 
also than honey, or the honey-comb to my taste. 
Great is thy condescension to the poor in spirit. In 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 99 

a fresh sense of thy goodness my soul is bowed 
and reverently prostrated as at thy feet, beseeching 
that thy preserving power and protecting care, may 
continue to be extended over me in all my future 
steppings through life ; and that for thy great Name's 
sake and for thy dear Son's sake, Christ Jesus our 
holy Redeemer, thou wouldst be pleased to forgive 
all my sins, and blot out all my transgressions, 
which have been many and multiplied; for O most 
holy Father, I believe that the blood of Jesus 
Christ which cleanseth from all sin, is sufficient to 
wash away all impurity and unholiness from my 
heart. O strengthen me to become more and more 
obedient to thy all powerful Word, which pierceth 
even to the dividing asunder soul and spirit, joints 
and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and 
intents of the heart ; which separates between the 
precious and the vile, that through a daily abiding 
under its crucifying power, I may be more com- 
pletely prepared to bear the inscription "The Lord 
our Righteousness.*' All other righteousness is as 
filthy rags. 

Hear O Lord, my fervent supplications on behalf 
of our dear children, and be pleased to renew the 
visitations of thy mercy to such of them as have 
turned aside from thy divine law written in their 
hearts, and are too much taken up with vanity and 
with that which will stand them in no stead in a 
trying hour. Gracious God remind them of their 
frailty, that they are but as grass which to-day is, 
and to-morrow is cut down, and where is it ? And 
O be pleased to strengthen those who have set 
their hearts to seek thy face, in every good word 
and work ; preserve them in thy holy fear and 
pure counsel, and suffer nothing to turn their hearts 
aside from following the pointings of thy holy fin- 
ger, however it may be in the cross to their natu- 



100 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

ral inclinations. And if it please thee, O blessed 
Author of all good, have a watchful and compas- 
sionate eye over the younger ones, and suffer them 
not to be led astray by the grand seducer of souls, 
but so implant thy holy fear in their tender hearts, 
as that it may at all times keep them from falling 
into the snares and temptations of the wicked one. 
O incline their hearts to seek, and to love and serve 
thee in the morning of their day, that true peace 
and happiness may be their everlasting portion. 

23d. Though my indisposition still continues^ 
my mind is preserved in a good degree of quietness 
and comfort, believing of a truth that all these af- 
flictions will work for my everlasting good, as they 
are patiently submitted to, and thankfully ac- 
knowledged as coming from the Father of all our 
sure mercies, graciously designed to wean me from, 
and to break every strong cord that would bind my 
heart and affections improperly, to the things of 
this lower world. I think I see more and more 
clearly the great necessity there is for us who are 
called to minister of the word of divine life in the 
assemblies of God's people, to be often dipped and 
stripped, washed and purified, in order to be duly 
qualified and prepared to receive afresh the holy 
anointing, that our preaching may stand not in 
words which man*s wisdom teacheth, but in the 
demonstration of the Spirit, and with power. The 
channel must be pure through which the gospel is 
preached, if it convey life to the hearts of those 
who hear, otherwise it will not reach the witness 
for God placed in all hearts. The vessels of the 
Lord's house were to be made of pure gold, — 
these seem clearly to apply to those through whom 
the great Head of the Church is sometimes pleased 
to speak, or in other words to water his heritage. 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 101 

And when these are duly anointed and authorized 
to speak in his great Name which is his power, it 
is indeed justly comparable to the distilling of the 
small rain on the tender grass, greatly refreshing, 
comforting and reviving drooping minds ; and also 
at seasons under the same divine authority awak- 
ening the dormant, and the dead in trespasses 
and sins, to a sight of their lost condition, arousing 
and quickening to more diligence. But whether it 
falls as the gentle showers, or as a rod, it is equally 
acceptable unto God, and to the living members of 
the body of Christ, if it flows afresh from the 
spring of divine life. O may all beware of preach- 
ing themselves ; self must be entirely subjected and 
laid low, and that necessity must be felt, which 
hath in it the " woe," else all our preaching will be 
in vain, and we shall obtain no reward. We preach 
not ourselves, saith the Apostle, but Christ Jesus 
the Lord ; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' 
sake. 

Ninth mo. 14th. " In Judah is God known, his 
name is great in Israel, in Salem also is his taber- 
nacle and his dwelling place in Zion." How 
precious is that state in which he is known to his 
people as their firm Rock and support, their all- 
powerful helper, and preserver from all the fiery 
darts of the enemy; a state of quietude and confi- 
dence, a state of humble submission and resignation 
unto ail his dispensations. Here, will he break in 
pieces the arrow and the bow, the shield and the 
battle-axe, defending his humble suppliants. Here, 
will he livingly be known to be more excellent 
than the mountains of prey, or all the proud boast- 
ings of the stout hearted. O how precious to 
feel his gathering, strengthening, melting power 
and influence over and round about our dwellings! 
9* 



102 MEMOIRS OF [1831 

How at His voice the roaring waves are hushed, 
and all is peace, calmness and tranquillity ! When 
in true humility and faith we come into that patient 
and quiet state of mind, where we can ask from a 
sense of our need, his grace to sustain us under 
every trial, it is well pleasing in his holy sight ; for 
a broken and a contrited spirit He will not despise. 

Tenth mo. 12th. It has appeared to me for some 
time past that the full time had arrived, when it would 
be right for me to return the certificate received from 
our Monthly and Quarterly meetings in 1830, in or- 
der to perform a religious visit to some meetings 
within the compass of New- York Yearly Meeting.* 
Not having felt the concern to revive with suffi- 
cient weight and clearness to proceed therein, I 
have apprehended myself released from the service, 
and at our last Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, I 
ventured, I may say with some degree of fear, to 
return them to Friends, assigning to them my rea- 
sons for so doing, which they appeared to be satis- 
fied with ; and I thought I had at the time a renew- 
ed evidence that the subject was rightly disposed 
of. It has been a matter of much close exercise 
and concern to my mind on various accounts, but 
I believe I have had but one desire in regard to it, 
which centered in this, that the Lord's will might 
be done by, in, and through me — His holy name 
and power exalted, and my soul humbled and con- 
trited in awful reverence and fear before Him, 
whose only right it is to rule and reign in our 
hearts ; hoping forever to be preserved in true resig- 
nation unto Him who is the Lion of the tribe of Ju- 
dah, who only hath the key of David, who openeth 
and no man can shut, and shutteth and no man can 
open ; to whom be glory forever and ever. 

♦See page S3 



1831] SARAH TUCKER. 103 

Eleventh mo. 11th. Last week I attended 
Rhode-Island Quarterly Meeting held at Swanzey, 
and on First day following was at Portsmouth 
meeting, in which I thought the blessed Truth was 
raised into dominion : no praise to the creature, but 
all praise to Him who hath all power both in Heav- 
en and on earth. O Lord how great is thy good- 
ness and thy mercy in that Thou still art pleased 
to regard the dust of Zion, condescending to satis- 
fy her poor with bread, O that all might come un- 
to thee, bowing in heart and in mind, and know a 
being gathered under the shadow of thy holy wing, 
and become partakers of that bread which perisheth 
not. O Shepherd of Israel, make bare thine holy 
arm of power and gather home to thyself poor er- 
ring and frail mortals that have strayed from the 
true sheep fold : grant unto them a day of repent- 
ance, that they may return unto thee, and be saved 
with an everlasting salvation, 

30th, I have not committed much to writing of 
late, but may now remark, that I have not been 
without my exercises and trials, mingled with fa- 
vors, and mercies ; having had, I trust at times, 
some good service and comfortable seasons at our 
own, and some other neighboring meetings, whilst 
others have been deeply distressing ; in some of 
which my faith has been closely proved. O, the 
springs of life are exceeding low, and faith and pa- 
tience are truly requisite, in order to get down where 
the bubblings up of eternal life are livingly felt to 
issue forth. Yet through all I am abundantly con- 
firmed that the Lord is a God nigh at hand, a pre- 
sent helper in the needful time, who will never 
leave nor forsake those who steadfastly love, serve, 
and obey Him in sincerity and truth. Even this 
day at meeting, I was much tried with unprofitable 



104 MEMOIRS OP [1831 

thoughts crowding into my mind, insomuch that I 
found it hard work to get to any thing like stillness. 
I strove to shut them out, I cried for help, and for 
deliverance from the bufferings of Satan, who is 
still permitted to buffet and accuse. But blessed 
be God, he cannot cast down those who firmly trust 
and hope in Christ Jesus our Saviour, whose power 
remains unchangeably the same yesterday, to-day, 
and forever ; who can and will speak the word, 
that all-powerful word, which never yet failed in 
the most tempestuous season, to produce a great 
calm. 

O, holy Father, grant me strength to resist the 
enemy, and to cleave unto thee, my strong Rock 
and Tower of safety. O, preserve out of all his 
snares and delusions, thy little ones who are sensible 
of their need of thee. O, quicken me to more 
dilligence and to greater faithfulness, that I may be 
found pressing forward through every besetment, 
toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of 
God in Christ Jesus. O, preserve me in an holy, 
patient, waiting frame, near thy feet, looking unto 
thee for counsel and direction in all my future step- 
pings ; enable me to bear all thy dispensations as I 
ought ; for I have no doubt but they are necessary 
for my further refinement and purification, in order 
that I may be found worthy to obtain eternal life. 
O, spare not of thy washing and cleansing me, in 
that stream which alone can purify from every de- 
filement. Let me not be like Ephraim, a cake not 
turned, but turn and overturn, that the baptismal 
fire of the Holy Ghost, may thoroughly purge the 
floor of my heart, whereby all the chaff may be 
consumed, and the pure wheat be gathered into the 
garner of rest and peace ; even so, O Lord. 

Twelfth mo. 12th. My soul is engaged in deep 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 105 

prostration of self, thankfully to adore and com- 
memorate thy goodness and mercy, O Shepherd of 
Israel, for yesterday's favor at our meeting : all 
power and praise be forever ascribed to thy holy 
name, who alone art worthy, Amen. 

First mo. 15th. 1832. Grant, O Lord, thy pre- 
serving power to attend me in all states, in heights 
and in depths, in abasements and aboundings. For 
it is this alone can keep in safety, and shield the 
poor mind from the arrows of an unwearied enemy. 
O gracious Father, be thou pleased to be near in 
every danger, and enable me to watch and pray 
continually, looking unto thee, the author and fin- 
isher of the saint's faith, for a renewal of spiritual 
strength, and for right direction and instruction in 
the way of truth and holiness, O Thou that teach- 
est as never man taught, of the heavenly mysteries 
of thy glorious kingdom. 

18th. Search me, O Lord, and know my heart, 
try me and know my thoughts, and if there be in- 
iquity found. in me, purge thou it away. At thy 
presence the darkness fleeth, bonds are broken, and 
snares are discovered ; great is the glory and the 
beauty of thy appearance to the pure in heart. O 
then purify the temple of my heart, and make it 
meet for thine holy spirit to tabernacle in. 

25th. I think I feel renewedly sensible of the 
need I stand in of Almighty aid and strength, to 
preserve me from the wrath of the dragon, who 
ceaseth not to cast out of his month floods of temp- 
tations, if possible, to destroy the wrestling tabu- 
lated seed. O God of mercy, grant the shield of 
living faith, whereby all the fiery darts of Satan 
are overcome. O, be thou graciously pleased to be 
near to sustain my poor soul, in and under every 



106 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

trial and baptism which thou mayest in infinite wis- 
dom permit, for the further refinement of my soul ; 
that I may indeed be thoroughly purged and cleans- 
ed from all that is not of thee. Of a truth, there 
is great need of often descending as into the wash- 
ing pool, and of being tried, so as by fire; — for, 
I am more and more convinced, that without a fre- 
quent renewal of this experience, the sons of Levi, 
the ministers of the Lord, are not duly prepared to 
offer an offering in righteousness. For whilst 
clothed with bodies of flesh, and living in a world 
which lieth in wickedness unless a continual watch 
is maintained, we are liable to be defiled with its 
spots. But by the renewings of the Holy Ghost, 
sent down from God out of Heaven, upon our 
hearts, we are through a right submission and re- 
signation thereto, in good measure preserved from 
the world's alloy ; O then blessed Father, enable 
me to welcome trials, tribulations and afflictions, 
for it is by these things we live ; by these things 
we are taught to know how frail we are, and the 
need we have of daily watching unto prayer, for 
strength to resist the evil and to choose the good. 
It is by these things we are humbled and brought 
low, and prepared to draw nigh unto God, who is 
near to all that call upon Him in sincerity of heart. 

Second mo. 12th. O Lord, I am poor and needy ; 
hide not thyself from me, but condescend, if con- 
sistent with thy wisdom to arise for my help. O 
Thou who kno west altogether my weakness and in- 
firmities, who vouchsafed in thine unmerited mer- 
cy, to bear our infirmities and to carry our sorrows, 
and who being touched with a feeling thereof, ever 
liveth to make intercession for us, condescend to 
lead me, and guide me into the patient waiting for 
thy coming : for surely thou wilt yet come, and 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 107 

revive my fainting, troubled soul with thy blessed 
presence. Although thou mayest in wisdom delay 
thy coming, yet will I hope and trust in thy return, 
which will be as the clear shinings after rain. 
Even so may it be. 

16th. I am prevented from attending meeting 
to-day by indisposition of body, yet remembering 
the Lord's mercies, my soul I trust has been hum- 
bly bowed. Surely O Lord thou hast cared for me, 
and richly provided for me. O the means of sal- 
vation ! O condescending love, and kindness un- 
utterable ! unspeakable gift of divine grace, freely 
vouchsafed to thy creature man, purchased by the 
blood of the immaculate Lamb, slain from the foun- 
dation of the world ! 

O Lord strengthen me to endure sufferings, trials 
and probations for thy blessed testimony's sake, 
wash me and purge the floor of my heart, of all that 
offends thy holiness, by the baptism of the Holy 
Ghost, that I may be prepared to follow thee in 
the way of thy leading with more and more ac- 
ceptance ; this is the prayer and fervent desire of 
my heart. 

O Lord forgive all my sins and blot out my trans- 
gressions ; create in me a clean heart, and renew a 
right spirit within me. 

29th. How precious is that hope, which is as 

an anchor to the soul, sure and steadfast, in every 

trial and adverse storm ; even a hope and trust in 

God, through the merits and mediation of Christ 

Jesus our Lord. 

Hope, which on God is firmly grounded, 

Will never fail, nor be confounded. — T. Ellwood. 

Third mo. 6th Look down, O Lord, if it please 
thee from thy high and holy habitation, on me a 
poor child. It is unto thee I cry and pour out my 



108 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

complaint ; thou only knowest the extent of my 
sufferings, and the sorrows of my heart, because I 
cannot find thee, the beloved of my soul. Hast 
thou utterly forsaken and forgotten me ? Wilt thou 
never more return and lift up the light of thy coun- 
tenance upon me, and cause me to hear thy divine 
voice? O most merciful Father, if it please thee still 
to try me by thy absence and prove me by deser- 
tion, grant me if consistent with thy wisdom, pa- 
tience and resignation to all which thou mayest allot 
or permit for the purification of my soul. For thy 
followers must indeed be made willing to drink of 
the cup their crucified Lord drank of, and to be 
baptized with the baptism which he was baptized 
withal ; therefore spare not of thy fatherly chas- 
tisements until I am made subservient in filial obe- 
dience to thee in all things. 

7th. Last evening after retiring to bed, I lay sev- 
eral hours under (I think I may say ) as great a load of 
inward distress and darkness as I ever witnessed. I 
was for a season ready to apprehend that I had never 
been possessed of true and living faith in the dear 
Son of God, but that my profession had been super- 
ficial. I recurred to former mercies and experien- 
ces but found no relief. I appealed to my heaven- 
ly Father, who knew that from a child I had loved 
Him, and believed Him to be my only Saviour and 
Redeemer ; but still I could not discern His pre- 
sence, for He had shut out my prayer, or at least 
delayed His notice of it for His own holy purpose. 
The distress of my poor soul was beyond descrip- 
tion, for I feared that I was left a prey to the ene- 
my. Some may understand it, who perchance may 
read in these lines their own experience. In the 
depths of my distress this language was raised in 
me as from the bottom of my heart ; O Lord I will 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 109 

never let thee go, nor loose my hold on thee, al- 
though I be cast off, never more to see thee in thy 
beauty as I have seen thee in the sanctuary of thy 
great power 5 but I will still call upon theo, and 
try to serve thee more and more. Then it pleased 
the Lord in His infinite mercy, so to break my heart 
and contrite my spirit, that I poured out my soul 
in a flood of tears, after which my mind became calm 
and tranquil, and the enemy fled at the Lord's holy 
presence as chaff before a mighty wind. For this 
unmerited mercy, eternal praises and humble thanks- 
giving be ascribed unto the Lord God and the Lamb 
who is worthy forever. Amen. 

12th, Yesterday it being the First of the week, 
in company with my beloved husband and Benja- 
min Freeborn and wife, from Rhode-Island, I at- 
tended New Bedford meeting both before and after 
noon. In the morning dear Ruth Freeborn had 
good service amongst them ; but my lips were 
sealed. In the afternoon however it pleased the 
Author of all good to open the way for me, and to 
raise me up as out of the dust, to testify to the all- 
sufficiency of the gift of divine grace, the word 
nigh in the heart, purchased unto us by and 
through the sufferings and death of Christ Jesus 
our holy Redeemer, on the cross. For some- 
time previous to this I had been silent as to 
public ministry, having had to pass through some 
of the most deep and fiery baptisms, T think I ever 
witnessed. But O the goodness and tenderness of 
Him, who as a Shepherd guides his flock, and best 
knows where to lead and feed them in safety ! He 
hath once more in his adorable love and mercy 
condescended to unveil his face, and to shine upon 
my dwelling. Forget not, O my soul, the Lord's 
kindness ; but in deep prostration of self, bow low 
10 



110 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

before Him forever, reverently bearing in remem- 
brance that He who ascended is the same who also 
descended even into the lower parts of the earth. 
O the descendings of heart and soul, that are neces- 
sary in order to know a right qualification and pre- 
paration of heart, to offer an offering that will as- 
cend with acceptance to the throne of Him who is 
King of kings and Lord of lords* 

Fourth mo. 19th. At our week-day meeting 
my mind was strengthened and encouraged with 
the animating belief, that the good hand of the 
Lord was at work in and among some of those in 
the early and middle walks of life, for gracious and 
dignified purposes. O may there be a yielding up 
unto Him with unreserved dedication of heart, let- 
ting all go for His blessed cause and testimony's 
sake ; that His own glorious work may prosper and 
flourish, and not be marred as on the wheel by 
clinging to any lower object. O Lord watch over 
and keep thy tender plants from all that may hurt 
or hinder their growth ; preserve them green and 
susceptible of thy divine impressions, and in thy 
holy and pure fear. 

Fifth mo. 14th. O Lord grant that thy holy arm 
of everlasting power maybe over and round about, 
to preserve my heart from evil, for thou art my bow 
and battle-axe, my only hope of salvation. 

29th. Without me ye can do nothing, said our 
blessed Lord and Saviour, to his immediate follow- 
ers ; a solemn humbling truth ; sufficient to lay 
low the boastings of human wisdom and vain phi- 
losophy. Nothing can the very best and most ac- 
complished men do of themselves, with all that art 
or nature can bestow, to promote the great and glo- 
rious cause of truth and righteousness, or their 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. Ill 

own eternal peace and salvation. For this, man 
must be assisted and illuminated by and through 
the gift of divine light and grace which is freely 
tendered unto all, being the purchase of that gra- 
cious and voluntary offering made by Jesus Christ 
on Calvary's mount, when he gave his precious 
life, and shed his precious blood, for the sins of all 
mankind ; that whosoever believeth on him 
should not perish but have everlasting life. He 
remaineth to be our helper, our advocate and me- 
diator ; on Him are we dependent, for He is the 
fountain and center of all good ; to him alone will 
I look for salvation. Help thou me, O Lord, pre- 
serve my heart chaste in thy holy sight, and stead- 
fast in faith and reliance on thee, that I may be 
strengthened to do all that thou mayest require at 
my hand in an acceptable manner. For truly I 
am sensible that without thee I can do nothing as 
I ought, being but a little one among the thousands 
of Israel, having no might but in thee, the eternal 
hope and strength of thy people. 

Sixth mo. 24th. The sacrifice of a broken and 
contrite heart, O Lord, thou wilt not despise, nei- 
ther turn a deaf ear to the prayer of the humble ; 
but will condescend to revive their drooping spirits 
by the consolations of thy blessed presence. With 
the poor in spirit thou deignest to dwell, for theirs 
is the kingdom of Heaven. The humble thou de- 
lightest to teach of thy ways, yea, to guide them 
in the paths of pure wisdom. Thou, O Shepherd 
of Israel, giveth grace to the lowly, and feedest 
the hungry soul with good things; even with the 
bread and water of life thou dost sustain them ; 
in every trial, thine holy wing of divine love is 
stretched out to defend and shield them, whilst un- 
derneath is thy everlasting arm of power to bear 



112 memoirs of [1832 

up and support them. Thou never leavest nor for- 
sakest thy little ones whose trust and dependence 
is on thee alone for help — thou givest power to 
the faint, and to them which have no might thou 
increaseth strength, 

O holy Father, preserve me humble before thee, 
in reverent prostration of self, under a feeling sense 
of thy great goodnesss and tender mercies toward 
thy poor creature man. Quicken me, I pray thee, 
to a more steady watchfulness, to more vigilance 
in striving against the evil, in resisting the enemy 
and in all things that appertain to my eternal well 
being — for thine is the power, thine is the glory 7 
and thine the kingdom forever and forever more, 

29th. Well may we adopt the language of the holy 
prophet, and say on considering the fallen estate of 
some of those who have adorned the first ranks in 
the armies of our Israel, " Oh that my head were wa°> 
ters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears,, that I might 
weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of 
my people !" "When Israel was a child, then I loved 
him, and called my son out of Egypt." " WhenEph^ 
raim spake trembling, then was he exalted, but when 
he offended in Baal, he died." Omay those unhappy 
instances of departure from the humility and sim- 
plicity of the Truth as it is in Jesus Christ our 
holy Redeemer, who was a pattern of meekness, 
and who taught his disciples many lessons of hu-* 
mility, and of love one unto another, excite us to a 
diligent watching even unto prayer, that we may 
stand, being rooted and grounded in the Truth of 
God in Christ Jesus our Lord ; lest we also should 
fall after their example, for our safety depends on 
our keeping low and humble before the Lord who 
is our only help, strength and hope of salvation. 
The branch cannot bear fruit of itself 2 except 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 113 

it abide in the vine — no more can we except we 
abide in Christ the living and true vine, from 
which all the branches, whether small or great, 
derive their strength and nourishment, and are 
enabled to bring forth fruit to the praise of Him 
who beareth and supporteth them. Out of this, 
our fruits will be anguish and bitterness of soul in 
the end. Therefore, O Shepherd of Israel, be 
pleased to extend thy holy and divine arm of power 
for the preservation of thy little, dependent ones, 
who have none in heaven, neither in all the earth, 
to look unto for help and deliverance, but to thee 
alone ; even so Father if it please thee — Amen. 

Seventh mo. 4th. The gracious promise of the 
Most High, by the prophet Hosea " I will be as the 
dew unto Israel : he shall grow as the lily, and cast 
forth his roots as Lebanon. His branches shall 
spread, and his beauty shall be as the olive tree, and 
his smell as Lebanon. They that dwell under his 
shadow shall return ; they shall revive as the corn, 
and grow as the vine : the scent thereof shall be 
as the wine of Lebanon," is brought to my remem- 
brance, under a renewed sense of His excellent 
goodness and condescending kindness in refresh- 
ing and reviving with the consolations of his divine 
presence, contriting and humbling before Him my 
poor soul, bestowing in the needful time a little por- 
tion of that bread and water which truly nourish- 
eth and satisfieth the hungry and weary soul. Oh 
how great is His goodness ! how great is His mer- 
cy ! He giveth bread which strengtheneth, and 
wine, new in his heavenly kingdom, which alone 
maketh the heart of man truly glad; yea, oil also, 
which maketh his face to shine with that beauty 
and brightness which emitteth light to those 
around. Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is 

10* 



114 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

within me bless his holy name ; forget not all, nei- 
ther any of his benefits. O most merciful Father 
keep me as in the hollow of thy holy hand, out of 
all temptations and delusions, for indeed thou hast 
done great things for me, holy and reverend is thy 
Name. And now once more I dedicate my life, my 
strength and the residue of my days, unto thee O 
my blessed Saviour, humbly desiring if consistent 
with thy will, that thou wouldst continue to be 
with me in all the remaining probations and suf- 
ferings which yet remain to be filled up in me, for 
the body's sake. 

Eighth mo. 1st. I am sensible that I cannot 
write to profit, except thou O Lord, influence my 
heart, and direct my pen ; then will I make known 
thy great goodness, thy loving kindness, and tender 
mercies toward the workmanship of thy holy hands, 
then will I make mention of thy marvellous acts, 
thy righteous judgments, and thy fatherly chastise- 
ments, exercised upon us for good, that we may 
learn righteousness, and refrain from iniquity, and 
turn unto thee with rended hearts and contrited 
spirits, acknowledging that thou art just and equal 
in all thy ways. 

8th O that I was more worthy to bless and 
praise thy holy name, my Rock and*my Redeemer, 
for all thy great and manifold mercies conferred on 
me, through this my earthly pilgrimage ; but O 
blessed Jesus notwithstanding thou hast freely be- 
stowed upon me thy unspeakable gift of divine 
grace, and hast visited me with convincing power 
and strength, the which 1 firmly believe to be al- 
together sufficient and efficacious to overcome every 
evil seed in us, yet do I still come unto thee poor 
and naked, miserable and blind, an unprofitable 
servant, unto whom belongeth blushing and con- 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 115 

fusion of face — having no offering to make, or ob- 
lation to bring, which thou wilt accept, unless in 
thine unmerited kindness, thou art pleased duly to 
qualify and prepare the heart to offer, and to give 
the lamb for a burnt offering. It is all of mercy, 
unmerited mercy, that I am favored to taste of thy 
redeeming love, and feel thy tendering power to 
humble my heart before thy holy presence, whose 
love is unspeakable to the poor and needy. 

25th. I think I can say that from my early 
days, I have felt a deep concern for the salvation of 
my soul, and have at times been ardently solicit- 
ous that I might be kept from everything that 
might prevent me from obtaining the crown im- 
mortal, And this concern is still paramount with 
me to all others, that I may at the last be found in 
my lot ; yet am conscious that there have been many 
failures, many departures from the right way ; but 
God who knoweth how frail we are, who remem- 
bereth that we are dust, hath in his condescending 
goodness followed me with his judgments ; His 
fatherly chastisments hath He in mercy inflicted, 
whereby I have been brought back into the path 
of divine light from whence I had strayed ; bless- 
ed be His holy name and power. Although at this 
time I feel as one of the least of His flock and fam- 
ily, there is a secret sustaining hope, a grain of faith 
vouchsafed that I shall not be utterly cast off, 
which I would not part with for all this world and 
the glory thereof. Thou O Lord, only knowest 
the hidden conflicts, and secret exercises of mind 
which are mine, as I pass along, arising from fears 
Within, and tumults without, whilst I endeavor to 
wash and anoint, that I may not appear unto men 
to fast; but secretly to put up my prayers to thee 



116 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

for preservation, believing that thou who seeth in 
secret will yet openly reward. 

Ninth mo. 4th. Give us this day our daily bread, 

holy Father, feed me with that bread which 
thou knowest will most effectually contribute to my 
spiritual health, even if it be the bread of adversity, 
and the water of affliction ; through thy grace 
strengthening me, I can say thy will be done ; as 
in heaven, so on earth. 

5th. I have been for some weeks so much un- 
well as not to be able to attend all our meetings, 
but have now regained my health, so as to be dil- 
igent in the attendance of them, which I esteem a 
great and precious privilege; although I have had 
much opportunity in this my late confinement for 
retirement, reading and meditation, and may ac- 
knowledge that I have at seasons felt my mind re- 
freshed with the little streams of that river, which 
maketh truly glad the whole heritage of God ; so 
that I have been brought to the acknowledgement 
of the royal Psalmist, that one day in thy courts is 
better than a thousand — yet at intervals, leanness 
and barreness have been my portion ; however I am 
supported in the belief which is mercifully afforded, 
that there is an invisible, invincible arm of divine 
power underneath, that will sustain me through 
every painful conflict, and proving baptism. All 

1 can ask is, that faith, patience and resignation 
may hold out unto the end, for although sorrow 
may endure for the night, yet joy will spring in 
the morning. 

17th. I feel the necessity to be increasingly 
great for watching in order to escape the wicked 
one, who I perceive as I advance in years, and I 
humbly trust in some degree of Christian experi- 
ence, is also increasingly busy in his attempts to 



iS32] SARAH TUCKER. i if 

undermine and destroy the faith of poor man; If 
he cannot effect his purpose by elating the mind to 
an eminence of spiritual pride, he will endeavor to 
sink it below hope ; but blessed be the great Name 
and power of Israel's Shepherd, He slumbereth 
not, but watcheth over, and hath hitherto in mercy 
preserved from these sad extremes, all who have 
rightly trusted in his unfailing arm of power ; the 
strong Rock and refuge of the righteous, where the 
enemy cannot enter, even the secret place of the 
Most High. 

23d. At our meeting to-day, favor, divine favor 
was extended. The Lord is yet mindful of his 
people ; He is still graciously disposed to do them 
good. He condescendeth to plead with the rebel- 
lious, and to bear long with transgressors. His 
mercy is from everlasting to everlasting, of which 
the righteous ar§ made freely to partake. 

Eleventh mo. 14th. O Lord, be pleased to look 
down in mercy upon me, and preserve me from the 
power of the enemy ; my trust is alone on thee, 
my sure helper, 

Twelfth mo. 9th. I have now been confined for 
six weeks, mostly to my room, and a considerable 
part of the time to my bed, having had a severe at- 
tack of pleurisy ; am yet very weak, indeed, so 
great is my weakness at times, that I am almost 
ready to conclude I have nearly done with the 
things of time. But be this as it may, my heart 
still glows with desires, that I may be found press- 
ing forward through every trial and besetment 
which may in inscrutable wisdom be permitted to 
assail me, toward that city, not one of whose inhab? 
itants can say I am sick ; where pain and sickness 
will no more interrupt ; where sorrow and sighing 



118 MEMOIRS OF [1832 

can never come, ; but joy and gladness will ever 
resound ; thanksgiving and the voice of melody 
will be forever heard. O then eternal Fountain of 
all good be pleased to strengthen with might, the 
inner man — that although the outward man may 
wax feeble and decay, the inward may be renewed 
and strengthened day by day, to a right exercise of 
patience and every other christian virtue. Be 
thou O Lord, my strength in weakness, health be 
thou to me in sickness, in poverty of spirit be 
thou rich consolation, yea, my alone keeper, healer, 
and almighty Saviour in every needful time, 

17th. " Bless the Lord, O my soul ; and all that 
is within me bless his holy name. Bless the 
Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits : 
who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth 
all thy diseases ; who redeemeth thy life from 
destruction; who erowneth thee with loving- 
kindness and tender mercies. " 

Truly thou art good, O Lord, and very great are 
thy mercies. Thou condescendest to remember 
the poor and him that hath no helper. Thou art 
their never failing refuge ; for gracious purposes 
thou bringest down, and when they are afflicted, 
thou liftest up and pourest in the oil of consola- 
tion, even the influences of thy divine Spirit where* 
by the deeply afflicted and seemingly deserted soul 
is revived, refreshed and truly comforted, and made 
livingly to rejoice in thy salvation, 

I may say that during my late indisposition, I 
have suffered much from a sense of desertion, the 
withdrawing of the sweet incomes of divine love. 
O what can add more deeply to our distress than 
the absence of the beloved of souls ? Surely noth* 
ing ; for when Jesus our holy Redeemer is with 
us, sustaining as well as enlightening our minds 



1832] SARAH TUCKER. 119 

through the tribulated path of life, then all our 
paing are sweet, all our afflictions are light, and we 
can rejoice and give thanks even under great tribu- 
lations. But surely it is the duty of his professed 
followers in the seasons of his absence, to bear 
whatsoever He in his incomprehensible wisdom may 
see meet to lay upon them for their good, with pa- 
tience and holy resignation, trusting and confiding in 
his power and goodness for deliverance. O my soul, 
patiently wait and quietly hope for the salvation 
of thy God, and never more distrust that mercy, 
which thou hast so often and so freely partaken of. 

20th. One thing have I desired, and that will I 
seek after — that I may dwell in thine house O 
Lord all the days of my life. This, if I know and 
understand the language of my heart, is the sum 
of my wishes, that I may so pass the time of my 
sojourning here as that my dwelling may be in the 
favor and under the protection of Him who is 
King of kings. When I can feel the smallest tok- 
en of this, I matter not poverty, desertion or seclu* 
sion ; for this is the crown of glory and diadem 
of beauty —without this we are poor, but with it 
rich, take what else He will away. But I know 
that to attain hereunto, all diligence must be given 
to our holy calling, else our election will not be 
made sure. Bow, O my soul, in deep humility, 
and cease not to intercede for preservation on the 
sure foundation, that the pollutions of the world 
may be escaped, and thou be found worthy to 
stand in thy lot at the last. 

23d. I am not yet able to attend meetings, — 
a privilege which I have highly prized ; and can 
remark that when I am deprived of the favor of 
getting out, it affords me much satisfaction that I 



120 MEMOIRS OF [1S32 

have endeavored diligently to attend when health 
would permit ; and can thankfully acknowledge 
and commemorate the loving kindness and tender 
mercy of my divine Master, in vouchsafing at 
times and seasons in my days of affliction, a little 
crumb as from His bountiful table, which has been 
comforting and strengthening to my poor mind. 
O He is good and there is none like unto Him — 
a faithful high priest, touched with a feeling of our 
infirmities, He knoweth how to compassionate our 
weak and low estate, being ever near and ready to 
aid and succor his dependent ones in the needful 
time. 

27th. Surely, O Lord, when the light of thy 
law is hid from us, we are in darkness and are 
liable to stumble. There is need of faith and 
patience, and an unremitted watch, for of ourselves 
we are not able to resist temptation ; no, no ; it is 
indeed of the Lord's mercies that we are not con- 
sumed, for His compassions fail not, they are new 
every morning* 

Through un watchfulness I have recently been 
brought very low in mind, abased as in dust 
and ashes. By giving way to a disposition in my- 
self naturally quick, I spoke in a manner altogether 
reprehensible. I soon felt what I had done — 
asked forgiveness of the person I had wronged, and 
with deep sorrow and contrition of soul implored 
forgiveness of my heavenly Father. O wash me 
thoroughly from mine iniquity and cleanse me from 
my sin ; for I acknowledge my transgressions, and 
my sin is ever before me. O that in future I may 
be more watchful, and more guarded ; that I may 
no more offend thy holy and divine spirit. 

29th. Unto thee will I look O thou gracious 
and long suffering God, forgiving iniquities and 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 121 

blotting out transgressions, who delightest to hear 
the voice of the truly penitent, and will in due 
time administer lenient balm to the wounded heart. 
Who can sufficiently adore thy goodness and 
tender mercy ? O my soul forget it not ; sooner 
let my right hand forget its cunning and my 
tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, than ever 
I should forget thee, O my healer, and my God. 

First mo. 2d., 1S33. Another year has now roll- 
ed away, and what improvement hast thou made O 
my soul ? hast thou known an increase in the in- 
crease of God? hast thou grown rich in faith and 
good works ? works of humility, patience, piety, 
charity and love. O keep in humble remembrance 
that a talent is committed to thee for improvement ; 
forget not that when thy Lord cometh He will re- 
quire his own with usury. O God and Father of 
all consolation, grant that an humiliating sense of 
thy unmerited kindness toward me an unworthy 
worm, may excite to a greater degree of faithful- 
ness in filling up the various duties devolving upon 
me, both religious and social ; assist thou me I pray 
thee, to discharge myself according to thy blessed 
purpose, that my garments may be clean in the great 
day of account, having been washed and purified 
in the blood of the Lamb 5 unto whom be ascribed all 
power and glory forever. 

9th. O Lord, thou alone art my helper — unto 
thee will I cry in my distress, yea, in the night sea- 
son will I call upon thy holy name for thou wilt 
hear me, thou wilt deliver my soul out of all adver- 
sity, and again bring up my feet out of the mire, 
and set them on the Rock that is higher than I ; 
when a new song will be given me, even high 
11 



122 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

praises to the Lord God and the Lamb, worthy for- 
ever to be magnified and adored, saith my soul. 

10th. Last night I experienced a sharp conflict ; 
O the stripping which I underwent, — naked and 
bare, I beheld myself in the presence of an omnip- 
otent Almighty God ; — Satan, being permitted, 
roared, and cast forth floods of temptation, which 
Avould have destroyed my life, but for the secret sus- 
taining power of God, who condescended in his 
wonted kindness and unutterable mercy to revive 
the grain of faith remaining, whereby I was en- 
abled to cry unto Him, as out of the deeps for pre- 
servation, when these memorable words were 
brought fresh to my recollection. " In a little 
wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but 
with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on 
thee," which allayed my fears and caused a joyful 
hope to spring in my heart, so that 1 could say 
with the Psalmist, " I will hope continually, and 
will yet praise thee more and more." O that no poor 
soul may ever distrust his power and mercy, for 
His merciful kindness endureth forever. A sense 
thereof hath raised in me a cry, a fervent desire 
that I may be more deeply clothed with true humil- 
ity, with heavenly meekness, with pure love and 
true charity, which is the bond of perfectness, 
that being thus arrayed, I may be enabled to stand 
in the day of battle, although it may be with con- 
fused noise, and garments rolled in blood, or as 
with fuel of fire; fighting the good fight of faith, 
under the banner of the great Captain of our salva- 
tion, who never was turned back, neither overcome: 
but nobly overcame and repulsed all His enemies. 
Sing, O ye righteous, and shout for joy all ye his 
saints, for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. 
14th. In thy favor O Lord, is life ; thy judg- 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 123 

ments are just ; by them is the heart made clean, and 
prepared to offer an acceptable offering unto thee, 
who art fairer than the sons of men ; grace flows 
from thy lips. Thy rod as well as thy staff hath 
comforted my soul. Happy is the man whom 
thou correcteth ; despise not therefore his chasten- 
ing, neither faint when rebuked of Him, who 
woundeth but to heal, who bringeth down and lay- 
eth low his chosen, in order to raise them up ; to 
make them sit in heavenly places, in Christ Jesus. 

20th. To-day is the third time I have attended 
meeting since my recent sickness ; I thought divine 
goodness was near, and we were in some degree 
favored together. 

25th. Yesterday I attended our Monthly Meet- 
ing, which I had not for two months previous, in 
which my mind was opened, and enlarged on these 
words, " Behold, I will send my messenger, and 
he shall prepare the way before me ; and the Lord 
whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, 
even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye de- 
light in." I thought divine favor was extended — 
Truth prevailed, the wing of ancient goodness being 
spread over us, for the gathering together the scat- 
tered and strayed sheep, to the fold of rest ; re- 
nowned forever, over all be the arm of Omnipo- 
tence : for thou hast not, O Lord, utterly forsaken 
thine heritage, in this day of ease and of great de- 
clension, but art still mercifully disposed to do good 
to thy people, condescending to own, and by the 
stretching forth of thine own arm of power to heal, 
to restore, to reconcile, and to redeem thy creature 
man from a state of sin and transgression. Grant, 
O Lord, if consistent with thy wisdom that the 
word preached may profit, being mixed with faith 



124 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

in them which hear, may it fasten as a nail in a sure 
place. 

Second mo. 22d. We have just received intel- 
ligence of the illness of a beloved daughter at 
Friend's Boarding School at Providence. It brought 
a fresh trial upon my mind, my own health being 
very feeble ; but through the merciful kindness 
of my gracious helper I was enabled to cast my 
care upon Him, who hath sustained and supported 
me under this trial also. Truly he is good, and His 
mercy endureth forever. 

26th. Thy visitations, O blessed Father, and 
source of all good, though sometimes seemingly 
marked with severity are nevertheless oft-times har- 
bingers of solid good to thy children, graciously de- 
signed for their furtherance in the way of life and 
salvation. Thou best knowest what we stand in 
need of. Thou knowest, even thou O Father, who 
art consummate wisdom, when to administer the 
rod, and when to furnish the staff of life. To 
thy allwise disposal enable us to surrender our all, 
at all times and in all places. O bless this dispen- 
sation to my dear child, and grant if it please thee, 
that it may prove a strong incitement to her, first to 
seek Thee and thy righteousness : and O may it 
tend to wean from, and to stain the beauties and fa- 
ding glories of this vain and transitory world, that 
the primary concern with us all, may be to seek 
an unfading crown of happiness, in those blissful 
mansions above, where Christ sitteth King and 
Lord forever. 

Third mo. 13th. It is good to sit alone and keep 
silence, yea, to put our mouths in the dust, if so 
be there may be hope ; for the Lord our God is 
gracious ; He will not always chide, neither keep 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 125 

his wrath forever. When Israel, revolting Israel, re- 
turned with all his heart and humbled himself be- 
fore His awful majesty, then had the Lord compas- 
sion on him, and healed him, for He remembered 
His covenant with Abraham, Issac and Jacob : sure- 
ly his merciful kindness is from everlasting to ev- 
erlasting to those that obey him, 

18th. Yesterday at our little meeting we 
were favored to partake of heavenly refreshment 
from, I trust, the bountiful hand of Israel's Shep- 
herd. O that we may walk more and more worthy 
of his divine notice and heavenly regard, who hath 
not, blessed be his holy name, ceased to show kind- 
ness to the wrestling seed of Jacob ; but is still 
mindful of all those who are concerned above every 
other consideration, to seek and to serve Him. 

30th. (First-day.) I am so much indisposed as 
not to be able to attend meeting to-day, yet hope 
my mind has been, and still is profitably exercised 
thus far through the day. My much enfeebled 
frame, and broken constitution often remind me that 
my stay here in mutability cannot be long, — O 
Lord, my gracious and holy helper, my strength and 
my deliverer, enable me to finish the work thou 
hast assigned me to do ; and at the last mercifully 
condescend to be with and support me by thy bless- 
ed power and presence. O take away all defile- 
ment through the renewed washings and cleansings 
of thy all-powerful Word; so that the sting of 
death may be removed and the grave have no vic- 
tory. This, O holy Father, is my petition and my 
request. 

Fourth mo. 5th. I was enabled to attend our 

Quarterly Meeting held at New Bedford yesterday, 

11* 



126 MEMOIRS OP [1833 

which was large. I thought it graciously owned 
by the great Head of the Church, who in the riches 
of His love (which was as an holy canopy spread 
over us) deigned to sound forth his glorious Gos- 
pel invitation to all present ; to those afar off and 
to those who are near, through instruments of His 
own preparing ; the hungry were invited to the 
Lord's table, the thirsty to drink of the waters of 
life freely ; even without money and without 
price ; the weak were strengthened, the mourners 
comforted, and the weary refreshed in spirit. O ! 
that men would praise the Lord for His goodness 
and for His wonderful works to the children of 
men. He still regardeth the dust of Zion, and 
will never fail to satisfy all her children with the 
bread and water of life ; even that which strength- 
ened and nourisheth up unto eternal life. Bless 
the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all his ben- 
efits. 

11th. O God of mercy, I humbly beseech thee 
of thine infinite kindness, preserve my soul through 
all, steadfast in faith and patience, hoping and trust- 
ing in thy salvation forever. 

Many are the conflicts and various the baptisms 
which I have had to wade through, on my own, 
my family's and the church's account ; permitted no 
doubt in best wisdom to purify and to sanctify my 
soul, yea, to render it meet for thy glorious king- 
dom. O then, let thy presence but accompany me, 
and I will follow thee whithersoever thou mayest 
be pleased to lead, even unto death. O Lord, thou 
art glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing won- 
ders. Thou hast indeed covered my head in the day 
of battle — thou hast brought forth my light as out 
of obscurity and made my darkness as the noon- 
day : praises, living praises, be forever ascribed unto 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 127 

thy great and glorious name, forever and forever 
more. 

14th. I attended meeting to-day, both forenoon 
and afternoon, at New Bedford ; the former, a truly 
laborious one to me, but I was helped through my 
exercise to my own peace, for which favor I desire 
to be humbly thankful. In the latter, silent. 

15th. Attended a funeral at our meeting house, 
which was a favored season ; those present were 
pressingly exhorted to work while the day lasteth, 
before the night cometh wherein no man can work. 

16th. O gracious Father and source of all good, 
preserve me in all humility and lowliness of mind, 
watching unto prayer, so that I may through thine 
own power, keep the shield of living faith, and be 
clothed with the armor of righteousness both on the 
right and on the left, and thereby be prepared to 
stand, even in the evil day, in the hour of tempta- 
tion, which shall come upon all those that dwell on 
the earth, for the trial of their faith and patience ; 
whether they be founded but as on the sand, or on 
the immovable, unchangeable Rock which endureth 
forever ; for every man's work must be proved of 
what sort it is, and the day shall declare it. 

26th. Lord, a sense of thy goodness prompts 
me to write, blessed are they whose only hope is in 
thy eternal arm. Yea, such only will be blessed, 
and know in the troublous season a safe hiding 
place in thy secret pavilion, where the archer may 
shoot his arrows but in vain. Trust therefore, O 
my soul, at all times trust in the Lord ; wonderful 
in counsel, excellent in power is our God. 

Fifth mo. 1st. I often grieve and am afflicted, 
that after so many years experience of the kind 



128 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

and gracious dealing of an all-wise Providence with 
me, the many deliverances witnessed, and mighty 
works wrought by his eternal power ; his love and 
his mercy marvellously extended to me ; that, after 
all these great things, when his chastenings are ad- 
ministered, I should feel no better prepared to 
receive them. For these things I sorrow and am 
often in heaviness, because I cannot wholly, en- 
tirely and immediately bow in submission to his 
holy will, whose end and design I have ever found 
to be merciful. I trust, however, I shall be found 
pressing after this state, a state in which I can re- 
ceive evil as well as good from the Lord's holy 
hand, and bless Him in all. 

Sixth mo. 6th. Weak and feeble to-day, I am 
not able to attend our meeting ; but believe a dis- 
position prevails in me that truly desires the accom- 
plishment of the divine will ; and hope always to 
be enabled to centre in this — Thy holy will be 
done, O Lord. 

It has been rather a season of fasting and hunger 
with me of late, in which the enemy has been 
busy, presenting at times something that might bear 
some resemblance to food, endeavoring to allure me 
to a participation thereof; but I humbly trust that 
through the light of Jesus Christ our Lord, he hath 
been seen and resisted. O Lord, let me always sit 
at thy feet in silence, and in poverty as with my 
mouth in the dust, rather than once to presume on 
any thing of my own ; for verily I believe that 
those who are made willing to suffer with the suf- 
fering seed, will in the Lord's own time be raised 
into dominion with the pure seed and word of eter- 
nal life ; yea, when He, the chief Shepherd, shall 
appear, these shall appear with Him in glory. 

Although I have ever been, and still feel myself 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 129 

to be, but as a weakling in thy flock, O holy Shep- 
herd, (and whoever may read these broken remarks 
will perceive that my dwelling and my feeding hath 
not been upon the towering mountains, neither in 
rich and flowery meadows, but in the lowly vale,) 
yet hath thy loving kindness to me been great, and 
I am content, if I can but experience the renewings 
of thy cleansing power upon my heart, to purify 
from all filthiness both of flesh and spirit, that the 
dross and the tin may be taken away, yea, all the 
reprobate silver; for I know, O Lord, that thou art 
well pleased with purity of heart and cleanness of 
hands. 

7th. I am not able to attend our select Prepara- 
tive meeting to-day by reason of poor health. O 
Lord, be pleased to preserve me in patience and 
quiet resignation to whatever thou mayest allot. 
O the solemn work of purifying the temple of the 
heart ; may it be increasingly the concern of my 
soul, instead of taking much thought for this poor 
tenement of clay, which must soon be dissolved. 

Lord, thou givest power to the faint, and to 
them that have no might thou increaseth strength. 
Be pleased to be near in the time of trial, and sus- 
tain my sinking spirit, for thou alone art my refuge. 

1 have no other trust, no other hope, but in thine 
unmerited mercy through Jesus Christ my Re« 
deemer, 

24th. I may now thankfully acknowledge that 
I have again been permitted to attend our Yearly 
Meeting on Rhode Island, which was large ; and I 
thought the wing of ancient goodness was spread 
over us therein, whereby many were refreshed and 
made glad. And although there is much cause for 
mourning and lamentation within our borders, on 
account of the many deficiencies and departures from 



130 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

the simplicity of our holy profession, yet the hon- 
est hearted travelers Z ion-ward, were renewedly 
strengthened to press forward through the crowd of 
opposition for the right maintenance and support 
of our precious testimonies. 

We had the company of several valuable Friends 
from abroad, at this Yearly Meeting, whose labors 
of love amongst us I hope will be blessed. 

Seventh mo. 20th. I am distressed, feeling poor 
and deserted. My God, my God, why hast thou 
forsaken me, or forgotten me. O how painful is 
this feeling of desertion ! But if it was meet for Him, 
the Bridegroom of souls, our high and holy pat- 
tern, to experience such a gloomy state, in order 
to accomplish the gracious and merciful designs of 
His coming into the world, how much more should 
we be made in degree to partake of the nature of 
His sufferings, yea to have fellowship with him 
therein, being made conformable unto His death, 
even the death of the cross, that through faith in 
His holy name and power, (that precious gift of 
divine faith, through grace purchased unto us, by 
the offering of His holy life, and the pouring out of 
His precious blood, a sacrifice for sin ;) we might 
have everlasting life. 

O Lord, let thy spirit of judgment and of burning 
purify from all that would in the least defile ; and 
grant me patience to endure all thy righteous chas- 
tisements, in great mercy designed to bring my soul 
still nearer unto thee. O suffer not my little faith 
to fail, but strengthen me to stand against the un- 
wearied foe, whose accusations are sometimes so 
heavy and close upon me, that were it not for a 
secret hand of support, I fear I should fall a prey. 
But forever adored be thy matchless power and 
might, thou hast hitherto kept me through all trials 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 131 

hud conflicts, both inward and outward. Then, O 
my soul, trust in the Lord, the mighty God of Jacob, 
who never will wholly leave nor forsake those who 
put their trust in Him, but will in due time, I verily 
believe, give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of 
joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the 
spirit of heaviness ; yea, will break the bars and set 
wide open the prison doors, and say to them that 
are in darkness, show yourselves. Then will I 
patiently wait and quietly hope, through thy holy 
help, blessed Saviour, for thy return, which will be 
sure to the truly humbled and waiting soul. 

24th. O Lord, I greatly desire to commemorate 
thy tender mercy and loving kindness, and to praise 
thy holy name with the voice of thanksgiving, be- 
ing reverently bowed under a fresh sense thereof; 
for none is like unto thee in the day of trouble ; in 
the hour of distress, none can comfort and relieve 
like thee. Thou dost graciously condescend to 
hear the crying of the poor and the sighing of the 
needy, and for their help dost arise as with healing 
in thy wings. Thou art nigh to those who are of 
a broken heart, and dost save such as be of a con- 
trite spirit. Bow, O my soul, in deep humility 
before Him who is the First and the Last, blessed 
forever and ever. 

26th. It has been my lot in the course of my 
short pilgrimage, to pass through some painful bap- 
tisms unknown to any but my God ; seasons, in 
which my faith has been closely proved, feeling 
myself so deserted and so divested of all good, that 
at times I have not known what to do, or where to 
go for help, assured that if the Lord helped me not, 
vain would be all other helps, and were it not for 
a ray of divine light which would irresistibly break 



132 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

in upon my soul, it seems as though I never could 
have endured these trials. But He who permitted 
them to come upon me, no doubt for the proving of 
my faith and the purification of my heart hath all 
along, I believe, had His gracious eye upon me for 
good, and hath hitherto kept me from the power of 
the enemy ; anchHiave generally found it best, and 
most conducive to my peace, to attend to the 
injunction of our divine Master, to wash and an- 
oint, that I appear not unto men to fast ; for the 
Lord looketh not on the outward appearance, but 
on the heart. He regardeth the inward cry, the 
inmost sigh, and in his own time He will notice 
our complaints, and deliver those that patiently 
endure the turnings and overturnings of his holy 
hand. May none distrust his love and his power 
to succor in the hour of temptation, all those who 
will commit the keeping of their souls unto Him. 
For He never hath yet failed or come short of ful- 
filling his blessed promise, that although the moun- 
tains may depart, and the hills be removed, yet His 
kindness shall not depart from those who fear His 
name. 

29th. I may reverently acknowledge the great 
mercy and ascribe unto the eternal Fountain and 
source of all blessedness, all the praise and the 
glory for the favor vouchsafed at meeting yes- 
terday. It was the Lord's doings and marvel- 
lous in my eyes. But so it is, and so it hath 
been in all ages, and I believe it will continue 
to be, that the Lord is pleased often to make 
use of mean and contemptible instruments, in 
order to manifest His own power, and to mag- 
nify his excellent greatness. Yea, he hath chosen 
the foolish things of the world to confound the 
wise ; and the weak things of the world to con- 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 133 

found the things which are mighty, that no flesh 
should glory in his presence* O holy Father, pre- 
serve me in heights as well as in depths, clothe 
me with the beautiful garment of meekness and hu- 
mility, and feed me with the bread and water of 
life, that thus refreshed I may be strengthened to 
follow thee wherever thou mayest see fit to lead. 
Withhold not thy rod, O gracious Father, when 
thou seest it needful ; for thy rod as well as thy 
staff, hath oft times comforted and profited my soul. 

Eighth mo. 12. Lord, I am sensible of my un- 
worthiness of thy notice, yet I humbly beseech 
thee, take not thy holy spirit from me, but grant 
that thy blessed presence may go along with me 
through this vale of sufferings ; then whether the 
north or the south wind blow, or although the fig- 
tree may not blossom and there be no fruit in the 
vine ; though the labor of the olive shall fail, and 
the fields shall yield no meat ; though the flock 
shall be cut off from the fold> and there be no 
herd in the stalls; yet I will rejoice in the Lord, 
and joy in the God of my salvation, 

Trials, I do not expect to be exempted from, nei- 
ther do I desire it, but thy spirit, thy divine grace, 
I do reverently crave, to support and enable me to 
bear up under them as I ought, 

Thou hast instructed me to know that in this 
world tribulation will be the lot of all thy exer- 
cised children ; and also that in thee alone will 
their true peace abound. And my little experi- 
ence has taught me to know that those light afflic- 
tions, which comparatively speaking are but for a 
moment, are not worthy to be compared with the 
glory which shall be hereafter revealed. O then 
bow my heart to thy will and keep me from the 
power of the evil one. 
12 



134 memoirs d* [1833 

15th. Attended the Monthly Meeting at West* 
port, where through divine favor 3 I was strength- 
ened to hold forth the language of invitation and 
encouragement, to a little tried, stripped com- 
pany. This Monthly Meeting since my first ac- 
quaintance with it is quite reduced as to num- 
bers, yet I believe there is still preserved a- 
mongst them a living seed, and that it will yet 
flourish, and spread forth its branches ; and fruit 
will yet abound amongst them to the honor and 
praise of the great Husbandman. But this must 
be through a deep indwelling with the word of di- 
vine life, which alone is able to keep and to build 
us up in the most holy faith. 

23d. Attended the Monthly Meeting at New 
Bedford, in which I was favored through holy help 
to relieve my mind and felt inward quiet ; and al- 
though it was under much weakness of body and 
a deep sense of spiritual poverty that I went on 
this little errand, I thought I had renewed cause to 
say, the Lord alone is the helper of his people. 

I was encouraged to believe that notwithstand- 
ing the sorrowful breaches that have been made in 
that place by an enemy, there is still preserved a 
precious remnant who are truly concerned for the 
welfare of Zion, and for the right maintenance 
and support of our Christian testimonies ; and 
some of these I believe are among the younger 
class. That the hands of these may be strength- 
ened, and their borders enlarged, is the fervent de- 
sire of my soul for them. But many there are 
who are contenting themselves with a name, with 
a bare profession, which in the day of trouble will 
prove but a broken reed which will stand them 
in no stead. O that they may see and know, 
before it be forever too late, the necessity of seek- 
ing for solid substance ; even a resting place 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 135 

for the immortal soul, when it shall put off this 
mortal body. O that the unthinking may lay these 
things to heart, and be brought deeply to reflect 
upon their ways. 

28th. This morning a fresh token of the Lord's 
love and mercy has been afforded me. O how 
precious are the consolations of the Holy Spirit, the 
tendering, melting influence of divine love ! raising 
the soul in confidence and humble prayer to the 
throne of grace for preservation and protection 
through this vale of sorrow, by which the heart is 
warmed and expanded, and enabled to breathe, 
glory to God in the highest, on earth peace and 
good will to men. O ye who are in pursuit of 
pleasures, who look for happiness in the abundance 
of this world's goods, or in following after short- 
lived enjoyments, in the gratification of the carnal 
mind and appetite, surely you will one day be dis- 
appointed, and will have to weep and wail, unless, 
with full purpose of heart, you turn unto the Lord, 
who will have mercy upon all such as forsake the 
evil of their ways, and follow him in the regenera- 
tion. Those who trust in the Lord, and seek no 
other source of happiness, will be made partakers of 
joy unspeakable and full of glory. They who have 
chosen the Lord for their portion and the God of 
Jacob for the lot of their inheritance, He will shield 
and keep from danger, causing them at seasons to 
dip their foot as in oil, yea, to fill their cup to over- 
flowing. 

Ninth mo. 12th. I have been confined to my 
room for two weeks past with bodily indisposition ; 
seem now a little better, yet am very weak and 
feeble. O blessed Saviour, condescend in thy ador- 
able mercy to grant me patience and resignation, 



136 MEMOIRS OF [1883 

and enable me cheerfully to go down again and 
again as into the very bottom of Jordan ; for I am 
abundantly confirmed that this is the place of 
cleansing — the river of true judgment. O Lord, 
here it is, that willingly submitting to thy purifying 
power, the soul is cleansed and made white, re- 
deemed and prepared for a mansion of never-ending 
felicity. O, thy chastisements are more to be de- 
sired than gold or silver ; more sweet than honey 
are they to my soul, because that by them I live ; 
they tend to keep alive my soul, even in the sea- 
son of drought and the year of famine. 

Tenth mo. 1st. O Sovereign and Almighty 
Lord, thou who knowest all my probations, all my 
most secret and hidden conflicts, draw near, I pray 
thee, and, by thy quickening influence, comfort 
and console me in my distress : be thou my strength 
in weakness, my riches in poverty, and my alone 
helper in every needful time. O stay my mind in 
holy confidence and quiet on thee, the immutable, 
unfailing Rock of firm support — here it is that true 
peace is witnessed j for thou wilt keep him in per- 
fect peace whose mind is stayed on thee^ because 
he trusteth in thee. 

7th. I think I can say that I have not sought 
to be great or popular ; but my chief concern has 
been to know my day's work accomplished in the 
day time, to endeavor faithfully to discharge my- 
self in my family and in the church, that so I might 
be found ready when my great and final change 
comes, to lay down my head in peace. Yet at 
seasons, such is the feeling of weakness prevalent 
with me, together with the sense of my shortness 
in coming up in all points to the true standard, and 
such the bufferings of Satan, that I am ready at 



1833] SARAH TUCKER. 137 

times to fear I shall one day fall by the hand of the 
enemy. Then am I in great distress, my conflicts 
are sore, and my baptisms painful, for I cannot let 
thee go, O my blessed Saviour, but must forever 
hold thee fast : although thou slay me or cast me 
from thy sight, I still must love thee and own thy 
sentence just, for truly I am unworthy of thy heav- 
enly regard. But thy condescending mercy has 
never yet failed in the hour of need, and when thy 
gracious purpose has been effected, thou hast sent 
relief, even help as from thy holy sanctuary. 

The remembrance of thy kindness, O, Lord, is as 
balm to my afflicted soul, which enables me again 
to look towards thy holy hill, and to pour out my 
prayers for a renewed supply of living faith, for 
strength to persevere in the way cast up by thy 
wisdom, even in the way of thy holy cross, and 
that I may escape the snares of the evil one ; still 
hoping and trusting that thou, who hast been with 
me in si* troubles, and hast often clothed me with 
strength for the battle, will not now forsake me in 
the decline of life and strength, but will be near to 
deliver me even in the seventh trouble ; yea, will 
extend thy mercy to the latest period of my time. 

Twelfth mo. 1st. O Lord, I am poor and needy ! 
be not far from me ; for thou only canst relieve my 
wants. O gracious Father, enable me quietly and 
willingly to suffer for, and with, thy precious seed, 
which is under suffering— possessing my soul in 
true christian patience, for without this we can never 
be accounted worthy to reign with thee, who art 
God over all blessed forever. 

11th. Through the goodness of my heavenly Fa- 
ther, I am now favored to enjoy a more comfortable 
state of health than for two years past ; for which 
blessing I desire to be reverently thankful, but may 
12* 



138 MEMOIRS OF [1833 

acknowledge that I am often fearful lest I should 
not feel that gratitude which I am sensible is re- 
quisite for so great mercy. 

O Lord, thou art the inspirer of every grateful 
feeling and emotion to thee-ward — let me never 
forget thy loving kindness and tender mercy, but 
more and more teach me, by the holy influence of thy 
spirit, so to number my days, as that I may at all 
times apply my heart unto heavenly wisdom ; for 
short and transient are all earthly joys — but those 
to come are unfading and eternal. 

Last week I again attended our Quarterly Meet- 
ing. It was rather a low time, yet I rejoiced in the 
belief that the Lord hath a chosen and precious 
seed amongst us ; who, if they abide sufficiently in 
the quiet, patient waiting for the coming of Christ 
Jesus our holy Head and divine Teacher, will yet 
hear the gracious invitation, " Arise, shine ; for thy 
light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen 
upon thee." May we, with all meekness aftid readi- 
ness, receive the cup which our divine Master has 
given us to drink, and willingly submit to be bap- 
tized with the baptism which He seeth meet to 
baptize us with, waiting for His salvation. Then 
I believe he will in his own time string our bows 
for battle, and teach our hands to war, and our 
fingers to fight the good fight of faith, and make 
his little ones to be more than victorious through 
the everlasting strength of their all-conquering 
Lord. 

Twelfth mo. 22d. No treasure can equal that 
of a truly humbled and thankful heart, from which 
grateful acknowledgments arise to the Author of all 
good. Very great are the favors and mercies with 
which we are blessed, all proceeding from one great 
and beneficent Creator and Preserver, who conde- 



1834] SARAH TUCKER. 139 

scends to be our Leader, Comforter and Almighty 
Redeemer, and who expects from us thanksgiving 
and grateful praise. And unless we can feel a por- 
tion of this in our hearts, however rich and choice 
the blessings with which we may be crowned, we 
cannot truly enjoy them. But when measurably 
sensible of the greatness of our obligations to the 
blessed Author of them, then are we capable of de- 
riving true comfort from the gifts He has conferred 
upon us, regarding the Giver more than the gift ; 
most loving and admiring Him. 

May unfeigned humility ever attend my steps — 
as surely it will, if I keep in view my great weak- 
ness and frailty, my poverty and utter dependence 
upon the everlasting arm for help and preservation ; 
for without thee, O sovereign Good, I am destitute 
and miserable, whatever thou mayest grant beside. 
O then let me dwell in poverty with thee, my God. 
For blessed are the poor in spirit ; theirs is the 
kingdom of heaven, O glorious state of penury, 
may I love it though it be disdained by the rich 
and the full, who will be sent empty away. 

First mo. 1st, 1834. O that I may begin this 
year with renewed vigilance and watchfulness 
against all evil, through the interposition of thy 
merciful assistance, O, Almighty Keeper ; strength- 
en me to follow thee in all thy leadings, with unre- 
served dedication and willing obedience, and to 
keep all thy commandments, that it may be well 
with me. O blessed Saviour, condescend to be 
with me in all my future trials, baptisms and con- 
flicts, both of flesh and spirit, and be to me a comforter 
and succorer in the hour of temptation, and increase 
my faith. O most merciful Father, keep me, I pray 
thee, from all evil ; and of thy mercy, establish my 
feet in the pathway of true holiness and peace, for 



140 MEMOIRS OF [1S34 

thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, 
unto whom alone belongeth praise, might and do- 
minion. Amen. 

26. Strengthen me, O Lord, in the important 
duty of watching unto prayer, that I may escape 
the snares of the adversary ; and of reverently wait- 
ing upon thee, the eternal fountain of all good, that 
my spiritual strength may be renewed, so as by thee 
to run through a troop ; and by my God to leap 
over a wall, in the perilous hour to gain admittance 
into that strong tower, whereto the righteous flee 
and are in safety. 

Second mo. 6th. From a deep sense of want, of 
hunger and of thirst at meeting to-day, a living cry 
was raised in my heart to the Father of all our 
sure mercies, for a little portion of that bread which 
alone can nourish the soul up unto everlasting life, 
that I might be in deed and in truth a true spiritual 
worshipper — knowing assuredly, that none but 
such will ever find acceptance with the Lord of 
life and glory. O what are all pretensions or re- 
semblances, compared with the precious essence of 
of true, inward, silent, reverential worship before 
thee, the great I AM. O that thou wouldst make 
me more and more acquainted therewith. O the 
excellency and awful dignity of this holy place, in 
which alone true acceptable prayer is offered up ! 
I greatly desired that all might be rent from my 
heart that in any degree might obstruct a perfect 
harmony and intercourse with the Holy One, 
through the renewed extension of the baptizing, 
purifying power of the Holy Ghost, that all the 
dross and tin, yea even the reprobate silver, might 
be consumed, and thus the floor of my heart become 
more duly prepared for the reception of heavenly 
good ; that thou, O blessed Lord, mayestbe livingly 



1834] SARAH TUCKER. 141 

worshipped from the inmost of my heart, in the 
beauty of holiness, who alone, with thy dear Son 
Christ Jesus our holy and crucified Redeemer, art 
worthy of all worship, adoration and praise, both 
now, henceforth and forever more. 

16th. O Lord, thou art fully acquainted with 
the depth of my exercises — thou knowest the trials, 
temptations and sore buffetings of the enemy, 
through which I have recently had to pass ; all 
which I desire patiently to endure for thy blessed 
name's sake, knowing of a truth, O Father, that thy 
power is above every other power, and being stead- 
fast in the belief that all those who rightly endure 
unto the end, shall be saved with an everlasting 
salvation. 

Third mo. 2d. Never did I feel more fully sen- 
sible of the need of divine assistance, nor more 
deeply realize my own insufficiency for any good 
word or work. Thou, Lord, art the alone fountain 
and centre of all good, from whence proceedeth all 
strength and ability to do or to suffer. Thou art the 
holy inspirer of every good thought, word or act; 
then, O most gracious Helper, preserve me in a truly 
reverent, waiting frame ; waiting upon thee for the 
renewal of that precious faith which alone is saving, 
and whereby access can only be had to the tree of 
life, the spring immortal which is as a well of wa- 
ter springing up unto eternal life to those who are 
in Christ Jesus, the root and offspring of David, the 
bright and morning star. 

Fifth mo. 12th. Blessed art thou, O Lord, for 
all thy favors. I will love and exalt thy holy name 
and speak of thy unfailing mercies. Thou hast, in 
thine own time, given beauty for ashes, the oil of 
joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the 



142 MEMOIRS OF [1834 

spirit of heaviness. Thou art the true Comforter 
of the spiritual mourner, and the lifter up of those 
who are cast down. Thou, O my beloved, art 
greatly to be praised for all thy wonderful works to 
the children of men. Thou hast wrought all my 
works in me, and enabled me to praise thy name 
with joyful lips, in the assemblies of thy people. 
Unto thee with thy dear Son, be all praise forever 
ascribed. 

At our last Monthly Meeting, I opened a prospect 
which for some time had rested with me, of per- 
forming a visit to the families, or a part of the fam- 
ilies of Friends constituting our Monthly Meeting, 
as way might open ; which was cordially united 
with, and liberty given to proceed as best wisdom 
might direct. And now, O Shepherd of Israel, who 
putteth forth thine own, and goeth before them, 
who art a safe Leader and a righteous Instructor; 
and who only can truly open into the mysteries of 
thy kingdom, so that no man can shut, and so shut- 
teth that no man . can open — thou who knowest 
the secrets of all hearts, I pray thee, be with me 
in this weighty concern, and baptize my heart into 
a right feeling and clear discernment of the states 
of the people. O go before and lead the way, for 
surely without thy holy aid and influence, thy hand- 
maiden can do nothing that will redound to thy 
praise, or promote her own^peace. Be thou there- 
fore mercifully pleased to enable me faithfully to 
discharge myself of that -with which thou hast en- 
trusted me ; be thou mouth and wisdom, tongue 
and utterance unto me, that thy glorious cause may 
be promoted ; but may my soul be forever hum- 
bled and abased as in the dust, from a sense of thy 
merciful kindness, 

26th. In moving forward a little in the above 
mentioned concern, I feel constrained to acknowl^ 



1S34] SARAH TUCKER* 143 

edge the goodness of the unslumbering Shepherd, 
in favoring me from season to season with a little 
help, a little fresh ability to press forward through 
every discouragement which may arise from within 
or without, leaning upon that arm that never yet 
has failed any that have rightly trusted therein. 
And although it must be confessed that the 
present is a day in which the pure life is very low, 
yet I have felt encouraged, and a comfortable hope 
has been revived in my mind, in some of the fami- 
lies in which I have been engaged, that there area 
few amongst us of the middle aged, and also of the 
dear youth, who are under the preparing hand of 
the Lord for usefulness in His own house ; and 
that these may abide the heating of the furnace — 
that they may not flinch nor give back until the 
Lord's will is accomplished in them and by them, 
is the desire of my spirit. 

Sixth mo. 1st. In pursuance of my prospect I 
have visited about fifty families. In a number of 
them there was but one individual that was a mem- 
ber of our Society — and while thus engaged, I 
have greatly felt the need of more faithful, skilful 
laborers, duly baptized and fitted for service in the 
Lord's vineyard ; and I humbly pray that the great 
Lord of the harvest may be pleased to raise up, 
qualify and call forth into the field, more laborers, 
trained and disciplined under his own divine hand ; 
that the noble vine which he hath planted, may be 
rightly pruned and dressed, and carefully watched 
over and nourished in the fear and counsel of the 
great Husbandman ; that fruit may yet more plenti- 
fully appear, which will more and more dignify and 
honor His glorious cause, and tend to beautify 
this people which he hath chosen to show forth His 
praise, that it might be said as of Israel formerly. 



144 memoirs of [1834 

" Happy art thou, Israel ; who is like unto thee, 
O people, saved by the Lord, the shield of thy help, 
who is the sword of thy excellency !" 

Seventh mo. 7th. Unto thee, O Lord, will I give 
thanks, and praise thy holy name, who hast by thy 
great power hitherto kept and preserved — sustained 
and supported my poor exercised soul, through 
many sore conflicts and deep baptisms. It is unto 
thee I still look, with abasedness of spirit, for pro- 
tection from the snares of the seducer of souls, for 
he is still artfully seeking to undermine the foun- 
dations of thy people, and I fear has unhappily 
succeeded but too well in some instances. But, 
most merciful Jehovah,wilt thou be graciously pleas- 
ed to arise and take to thyself thy great power, and 
overthrow and defeat all his evil purposes, and more 
and more effectually turn the hearts of thy people 
unto thee, the only sure refuge and place of safety, 
from the shafts of the enemy. 

I was again favored to be at our late Yearly 
Meeting on Rhode Island, which was largely at- 
tended, and we had the company of a large number 
of Friends from other Yearly Meetings. I thought 
that through the several sittings divine favor was 
manifested, yet was my mind clothed with a secret 
feeling that we had great need to rejoice with 
trembling; for, notwithstanding we are an highly 
favored people, even above all others, yet it must 
be acknowledged by the rightly discerning, that we 
are a revolting and a declining one. It did indeed 
appear to me, that some amongst us who fill con- 
spicuous stations, were exposed to great and immi- 
nent danger, from giving way to speculative ideas 
and notions contrary to our ancient practice, and 
manifesting a greater conformity to those not in 
profession with us. I believe we can never sustain 



1834] SARAH TUCKER. 145 

the character of true Quakers, by taking one step 
back into those things out of which our worthy- 
ancestors were called, and so firmly maintained 
their testimony against, although great sufferings, 
persecutions and reproaches came upon them there- 
for. 

Lord, renewtedly anoint our eyes to see the 
devices of Satan, and to take up our cross and fol- 
low thee in the path of regeneration ; since, with- 
out this, no man can ever see thy kingdom. 

1 have also recently attended our Quarterly 
Meeting, held at Nantucket. We had the company 
of several of the strangers, who were at the Yearly 
Meeting. I thought it would indeed become us to 
endeavor to be gathered unto our holy Helper, and 
to present ourselves before Him as with weeping 
and supplication. Let the Priests, the ministers of 
the Lord, weep as between the porch and the altar, 
saying, spare thy people, O Lord, and give not thine 
heritage to reproach, 

Eighth mo. 10th. The spirit truly is willing, 
but the flesh is weak. I long to become able to 
endure all things, to suffer all things with true 
christian patience and fortitude, which my heavenly 
Father may permit to overtake me for a further trial 
of my faith and loyalty to Him, let them be of 
whatsoever kind or nature they may ; for O it is 
good, it is very precious to abide in the quiet resig- 
nation, keeping in every season of trial and deser- 
tion, the word of God's patience. In this, T may say 
without any feeling of boasting, has my poor soul 
at some past seasons known and felt, through the 
all-sufficiency of divine grace, an humble confi- 
dence and sweet serenity, surpassing all human 
conception, even in the midst of much suffering 
and conflict both of body and soul. But how sad 
13 



146 MEMOIRS OF [1884 

is the reverse, when the flesh growing Weary, com- 
plains of its sufferings, sorrows and labors j not* 
withstanding the Holy Spirit pleads its sufficiency 
to keep ns from the power of the enemy, if we are 
only willing patiently to endure, and to trust alone 
in the Lord. By giving way to restlessness and 
uneasiness, weakness ensues, and we begin in the 
absence of our Beloved, to beat the men-servants 
and maidens, making even those faculties and en- 
dowments with which we are blessed, and which 
are designed, when properly subjected and sancti- 
fied by the power of divine grace, to be subservient 
in dignifying the precious cause of truth and right- 
eousness in the earth, the very means of incurring 
the displeasure of our blessed Master at his return." 

gracious Father, when shall I in all things learn 
obedience through suffering ? It is in mercy thou 
chasteneth me for wrong, that I may not be con- 
demned. Blessed art thou, O everlasting Shep- 
herd, for I shall yet praise thee, the strength of my 
life and my exceeding joy. 

26th. Last First-day afternoon, I attended the 
funeral of one not a member of our Society. A 
large and mixed assemblage of people gathered at 
the Presbyterian meeting house in this town, who 
behaved with a sobriety becoming the occasion. 
The doctrine of universal and saving grace was en- 
forced, and the subject treated, as I thought, with 
some good authority and evidence of divine strength. 

The farther I advance in life, the more prepared 

1 am to see what poor creatures we are without the 
quickening influence of the Holy Spirit. O how 
void of all good is the poor mind of man, when 
destitute of this precious gift, this enlivening, ani- 
mating, all-sustaining power and presence of the 
Lord ! How, when he is pleased to appear in the 



1834] SARAH TUCKER. 147 

brightness of His own arising, do the hills and the 
mountains flow down ! All obstructions and op- 
positions are removed when He, who is our Alpha 
and Omega, the bright and morning star, appeareth 
in majesty and beauty. 

O that all men universally might acknowledge 
His power, and bow to the Scepter of truth and 
righteousness ; that all might know and understand 
the vastness of his loving kindness to poor, frail 
worms of the dust, in furnishing such wonderful 
and effectual means for our escape out of that fallen 
and depraved state, into which we were sunk by 
sin, and by yielding ourselves servants to obey sin ; 
even that all might comprehend the exceeding 
riches of His grace through Jesus Christ our blessed 
Redeemer, who died for us that we might live, and 
become heirs with Him of eternal glory. Amen. 

Tenth mo. 8th, I have long been sensible that 
our time is not the Lord's time, and that His time 
is always the most suitable for the performance of 
His divine requirings. Dangerous it is, to defer 
His work for a more convenient season, for it is 
much if ever we are favored with like clearness, 
strength and divine sufficiency for the service, if 
the right season be let slip ; O this I have seen 
and known in my own experience. Grant me, O 
gracious Father, to discern, and through thy holy 
help to escape the snares of the enemy, who is still 
striving to lay waste and destroy all that is heaven- 
born. 

12th. Since my return from our Quarterly Meet- 
ing, held the first of this month, my health has 
been, and still is, much impaired, so that I am con- 
fined to the house. But I hope and humbly trust, 
that these light afflictions which are but for a mo- 
ment, will all work together for good ; that they 



148 MEMoiits 65? [1834 

may tend to the preparation of my poor Soul, for & 
more glorious and enduring inheritance in the man* 
sions of rest and blessedfress, where trials and sor- 
rows cannot intrude. I fully believe that this i$ 
the merciful design of our heavenly Father, in thug 
chastising and correcting his Creature man, and 
that it will work this effect upon all who rightly 
submit thereto, not opposing the work through an 
unwillingness to come under the baptizing power 
of His divine word, nigh in the heart and in the 
mouth. Surely I may say, in the language of the 
Psalmist, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me ,°- 
yea, the rod as well as the staff, afflictions as well 
as consolations, have been sources of real heartfelt 
joy to my poor mind ; for oft-times in them, have I 
clearly seen the hand of divine mercy. O holy 
Helper, enable me then to bear them as I ought ; 
and in every of thy dispensations to give thee 
thanks. 

14th. Weakness of body and poverty of spirit, 
are at present my companions, yet my mind seems 
to be mercifully sustained and supported in humble 
hope, that He who, ever since I was born, hath 
preserved my soul by His almighty arm from the 
power of the enemy, will still be mindful of me 
now in the decline of strength and of years. This, 
in his adorable kindness, He is pleased to give evi- 
dence of at seasons. 

We had a sweet visit yesterday from dear Thomas 
Kite, of Philadelphia ; it was indeed comforting 
and reviving to my drooping mind. 

24th. Surely affliction cometh not forth of 
the dust, neither doth trouble spring out of the 
ground, but they are permitted by Him, who well 
knows what we most stand in need of, and what 
will most effectually promote our eternal interests. 



1834] SARAH TUCKER. 149 

This state is one of probation, a little space allowed 
us, in which it is designed that we should use all 
possible means, to make preparation for a better 
and more permanent one. But, forgetful of our 
highest concerns, we are too often found to be 
hearers only, not doers of the divine law ; and were 
it not that He who is our holy Head and high 
Priest, whose watchful providence is mercifully ex- 
tended over us, admonishes us by the rod of cor- 
rection for our negligence and inattention to those 
things which so nearly concern us, and again and 
again plunges us as into the river of judgment, 
what would our end be ? No unclean thing can 
enter the kingdom of our dear Redeemer, for He 
will make a man more pure than gold ; and as gold 
is tried in the fire, so are acceptable men in the 
furnace of affliction ; and it is that we may at last 
be found in a state of acceptance, and finally be ad- 
mitted into membership with the general assembly 
and church of the first-born ; that the Lord in mercy 
and in judgment thus pleads with us in many and 
various ways, to lead us into the path of purity 
and holiness, and in order that we may see the vanity 
and fallacy of placing our affections on any object 
here below, making us to feel how transient is 
every pleasure, how uncertain are all earth's joys. 
Well might the holy apostle exclaim, " Most gladly 
therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that 
the power of Christ may rest upon me.' 5 Happy 
would it be for all, in the hour of distress and deep 
conflict, to advert in humble faith to the answer 
given to this eminent servant of Jesus Christ, who 
no doubt was at that season deeply proved ; name- 
ly, " My grace is sufficient for thee." O let all re- 
member that he was not exempted from trials, but 
through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, was 
enabled nobly to stand through all succeeding fiery 
13* 



150 MEMOIRS OF [1834 

trials ; yea, to fight the good fight, to keep the 
faith, to finish his earthly course with joy, and to 
be made a blessed partaker of that hope, which is 
as an anchor to the soul both sure and steadfast, 
receiving this testimony that there was laid up for 
him a crown of glory in the mansions of rest and 
peace, testifying that thus should it be with all 
those who love the appearing of our Lord Jesus 
Christ. O that all might love his appearance, al- 
though it maybe as a refiner with fire, or as a fuller 
with soap, to refine and to cleanse us from every 
defilement ; from all that might obstruct an entrance 
into the kingdom of heaven, trusting in the arm of 
omnipotence ; suffering all things for his blessed 
name's sake. 

Eleventh mo. 9th. At meeting to-day my mind 
was greatly humbled under a renewed sense of the 
goodness and condescension of our heavenly Fa- 
ther. O surely He hath not forsaken, neither for- 
gotten his dependent children. 

22d. When thou art absent, O divine Love, 
when thou art pleased to hide thy face, all is dark- 
ness ; all seems dreary. O these are days of fast- 
ing and mourning, and of unspeakable distress, 
when the holy bridegroom of souls withdraws the 
consolations of His spirit, the immediate influence 
of His sustaining power. This is the season in 
which our faith is to be tried and our allegiance 
proved, whether it is such as will stand the test, 
whether we are willing to accompany our blessed 
Lord not only into the mount but also into the 
garden, where so great was His agony that he 
sweat as it were great drops of blood. O, seeing 
ir is needful for all His followers to suffer with 
Him in order to become qualified to reign with 



1835] SARAH TUCKER. 151 

Him ; to drink the cup which he drank of, and to be 
baptized with the baptism wherewith he was bap- 
tized, to become qualified to sit with Him in his 
heavenly Kingdom, let none shrink or give back 
because of the cross — because we cannot feel the 
sensible incomes of his holy presence at all times. 
O that none may ever turn back in their hearts, 
and murmur against the Holy One ; for He can in 
his own time, furnish for us a table even in the wil- 
derness, and open for the soul that truly waiteth 
for Him, streams in the desert ; thus will He do, 
and more, for all that wait upon Him, seeking in 
seasons of desertion, help from no other source. 

First mo. 6th, 1835. Good and gracious art thou, 
O Lord, even unto me a poor unworthy worm of 
the dust. O, that an humbling sense hereof may 
continually abide with me. O fill my heart with 
love and gratitude to thee, the everlasting fountain 
of all good, and teach me how to adore thy mer- 
cies — to sound forth thy glorious high praise, and 
tell of thy marvellous works to the children of 
men ; thou who art glorious in holiness, fearful in 
praises, doing wonders. 

14th. Last fifth-day, I attended the funeral of 
our esteemed friend Cornelius Howland. The 
meeting was held at Friends meeting house in New 
Bedford, and was a solemn and satisfactory oppor- 
tunity. He had been acceptably in the station of 
an elder for many years, and will be greatly missed 
by us who are left behind. 

O Lord, enable me faithfully to discharge my- 
self in thy holy sight, of every trust thou art pleas- 
ed to charge me with, that at the solemn close I 
may be found ready, having nothing to do but to 
die. Direct me and keep me in all my ways, pre- 



152 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

serve me at all times and in all places in the faith 
and patience of the saints, hoping, bearing and en^ 
during all things for thy blessed Name's sake. 

Fifth mo. 14th, I have been confined to the 
house and mostly to my bed, for eleven weeks past 3 
having had a severe sickness attended with fever, 
but am at present through mercy a little improving 
in health, and feel as if I could prostrate my body 
with my very mouth in the dust, did I believe that 
would be pleasing in the sight of an omniscient 
being ; or that He regards the position of the poor 
body. But nay, verily, I believe it is the heart 
that he regardeth ; the heart that is bowed, sub- 
jected and truly humbled before Him ; and_ O that 
this may in all sincerity be my real state, as I hum- 
bly trust it is in some degree. O grant me, gra- 
cious God, faith, patience and true resignation to 
sustain all the trials and conflicts thou mayest yet 
see meet to permit to come upon me for the further 
refining my soul from dross and tin. O spare not 
until all the reprobate silver is wholly purged 
away. Thou knowest the cup thou hast given me 
to drink, thou knowest what it contains. O Lord, 
unto thee I look, enable me to receive it joyfully 
at thy hand, and to call upon thy everlasting 
name, thy power to uphold and strengthen me to 
endure unto the end. Be graciously pleased, O 
Lord, to be near in this season of deep distress, in 
which I am not only tried with great bodily weak- 
ness, but wherein many trials beset me round 
about. O forsake me not, for thou art my refuge 
and my hiding place. Unveil thy countenance, 
sweet Jesus, for thy presence is my life. When 
thou drawest near and touchest my heart how do 
the clouds disperse ! how is my load lightened, 
and how are my prospects brightened ! O touch 



ISSSJ SARAH TUCKER. ts3 

my heart as with a living coal from thy holy altar, 
and may it be such as will not cease to burn until 
all is consumed that cannot endure thy baptism 
and partake of thy cup. 

16th. Gracious Preserver, suffer me not to pre- 
sume on writing any thing that is not under thy 
holy direction and influence. Thou knowest, O 
Lord, that it was from an apprehension of religious 
duty that I first made the attempt — and now if 
enough has been written, it is enough. O if it 
please thee, favor me with a clear discerning as 
it respects this, as well as all other important mat- 
ters. But it seems at times as if I could not for- 
bear further to commemorate through this medium, 
the kind and gracious dealings of my heavenly 
Father, from my very childhood even unto the 
present day, notwithstanding my many and repeat- 
ed backslidings. How like a tender parent has he 
followed me with the rod of reproof — and by his 
merciful corrections, has caused me to see my trans- 
gressions and to supplicate forgiveness, which He 
delights always to favor the truly penitent with. 
O, the Lord has brought me through seas of deep 
distress, both of body and of mind, enabling me at 
seasons to rejoice in His omnipotent arm, as on the 
banks of deliverance. And still is he pleased to 
manifest his tender mercy by a continuance of his 
fatherly chastisements. O ! let the thoughtless, the 
vain, the inconsiderate, and the irreligious say what 
they may, my soul has deeply felt the force of this 
solemn truth, " For whom the Lord loveth he 
chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he re« 
ceiveth." 

O thou gracious God, I would not ask to be re- 
leased from trials, but for strength and holy stead- 
fastness to bear them as I ought ; for a renewed 



154 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

supply of living faith, even that by which a victory 
is witnessed over all the temptations and bufferings 
of satan. And oh ! withhold not the soul-sustain- 
ing and enlivening power of thy holy presence, 
through which the blessed hope of life and immor- 
tality are brought to light. 

19th The present is with me a season of deep 
humiliation and abasedness of soul — many are the 
trials and conflicts which I have to pass through, 
some of them in wisdom reaching the tenderest 
chord, for the gracious purpose of proving my love 
and trying my loyalty to the King of heaven. But 
herein is my consolation, that I know there is a 
power which is able to preserve me through all, to 
the praise of His own everlasting name. I am 
sometimes enabled to look unto Him, and through 
his adorable mercy to repose my whole trust and 
confidence in Him who is God over all blessed for- 
ever more. 

Fifth mo. 30th. Thou knowest, my dear Re- 
deemer, my only helper, why I am thus visited ; 
thou knowest altogether my wayward heart, for 
thou searchest me every morning, and triest me 
every evening — and thou knowest that much 
purging is necessary to prepare me for thy service, 
and for thy pure and holy kingdom. O, enable me to 
endure all thy dispensations in faith and holy patience, 
and suffer me not to grow weary, neither to faint 
in watching and prayer, in fasting and supplication ; 
but with holy and renewed confidence may I wait 
thine own time, without one effort to escape the 
prison house, until thou art pleased to arise in power 
and beauty, and say to my poor imprisoned soul, 
" Arise, go forth and shew thyself." For of a truth 
I have long since known and experienced, that un- 
availing are all human efforts, they do but protract 



1835] SARAH TUCKER. 155 

our stay in the land of jeopardy and of drought — =• 
for it is " not by might, nor by power, but by my 
spirit, saith the Lord." 

O then gracious God; condescend to be near in 
this season of deep inward trial and outward suffer- 
ing and by the precious influence of thy divine 
love, comfort and console me with sweet refresh- 
ment, whereby I may be strengthened and encour- 
aged still to trust in thy great power, and to hold 
fast unto the end that which thou hast committed 
to my charge. And being thus renewedly helped 
as from thy holy sanctuary, may I with cheerful- 
ness abide the season of probation appointed by 
thee, for thoroughly purifying my heart from every 
defilement both of flesh and spirit, that I may be- 
come truly sanctified, washed and made clean, by 
the precious blood of Jesus Christ my dear Saviour, 
willingly bearing about in my body the dying of 
the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be 
made more and more manifest in me ; and more 
abundantly evincing that I am laboring and travail- 
ing to know, through divine grace, an overcoming 
of the wicked one with all his works, by the power 
of the Son of God, who was manifested to destroy 
the works of the devil. 

Sixth mo. 12th. This morning my dear hus- 
band left home to attend the approaching Yearly 
Meeting. My health not being sufficient to under- 
take the journey, I am left behind. 

O the stripping and winnowing seasons that have 
of late fallen to my lot ! Grant, O Lord, that they 
may tend to deepen me in the root, through the 
effective working of living faith (which is thy gift,) 
that so purity of heart and uprightness of intention 
may more increase and abound in me. O holy One, 
thou knowest this has long been the desire of my 



156 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

soul and the travail of my spirit, to know in deed 
and in truth, purity of heart, purity of intention, 
unmixed with the least tincture of self; for self 
must be slain before the life of the Lamb can ap- 
pear and shine forth in the light and beauty of the 
blessed Truth. 

O, it, is with clean hands and a pure heart that I 
(who am the least of all thy family) desire to serve 
thee, my dear Saviour, all the few remaining days 
of my pilgrimage here, and that I may when done 
with time, be admitted into a mansion of rest and 
peace with thee in thy holy and everlasting king- 
dom. 

15th. Being through weakness and infirmity of 
body, pretty much confined, and mostly alone for 
a few days, I feel very desirous that it may be a 
season of gathering strength in the root ; and I 
think it will be, as I endeavor rightly to abide the 
operation of the Lord's refining power upon me. 
But without faith it is impossible to please God, 
Well, 1 trust I still have a small grain, although 
often reduced to a very low ebb. 

19th. precious repast ! One drop, O Lord, 
from thine inexhaustible fountain — one crumb 
from thy bountiful board — how it refreshes and 
strengthens the poor and needy soul, that is panting 
after thee even as the hart panteth after the water 
brooks ! O surely thou art good to those that love 
thee, and to the upright in heart. Thou wilt satisfy 
the hungry soul, and replenish the weary soul, that 
trusteth in thee. Then why art thou cast down, 
oh my soul ? and why art thou disquieted within 
me ? Hope thou in God ; for I shall yet praise 
him, who is the health of my countenance, and my 
God. 






1835] SARAH TUCKER. 157 

Great indeed is the privilege of turning unto God 
the alone centre and source of all true consolation, 
and of all good, in low and trying seasons, and in 
all our tribulations, for in the presence of our blessed 
Lord is peace, true solid peace, which is not, nay, 
cannot be found in any thing which appertains to 
this world. 

Eighth mo. 25th. Conscious of much weakness 
and frailty, O Lord, I humbly pray thou wouldst 
mercifully condescend to be my strength, support- 
ing and sustaining my often fainting spirit through 
all the future trials, which thou in thy wisdom may 
permit to overtake me in this my earthly pil- 
grimage. ' Unto thee I look for help ; thou art my 
only refuge, my hope, and my defence. Thou 
knowest all my conflicts, and art acquainted with 
all my ways, and my thoughts and the intents of 
my heart. Unto thee do I ever hope to stand open, 
for I love to feel thy heart-searching power per- 
vading the inmost recess of my soul, that every 
hidden evil may be searched out and by thy power 
expelled. O thou most holy One, preserve me by 
thine almighty arm from the snares of the enemy ; 

save me, for thou art my Saviour ; and of thy 
mercy grant strength and right ability, through Je- 
sus Christ our Lord, to do ail which thou requirest 
at my hands, in an acceptable manner. 

Ninth mo. 23d. For several months past my 
trials have been great and deeply exercising. Ah ! 
they still remain to be so, insomuch that at seasons 

1 hardly know which way to turn. I have been 
very feeble through the summer, although generally 
able to attend our own meeting. I doubt not the 
designs of infinite wisdom are merciful, that He thus 
metes out these dispensations to his servants and 

14 



158 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

handmaidens to refine and purify them, that in His 
own time they may come forth as gold seven times 
tried. That these afflictive seasons may not be lost 
on me, is the fervent breathing of my soul. I have 
been more unwell of late, so that I have not been 
at meeting for three meeting days past. O, it is a 
privilege which I much prize, to assemble with my 
beloved friends for the solemn purpose of worship- 
ping Almighty God ; and I may safely say that the 
farther 1 advance in life the more precious this fa- 
vor appears, although I often have to sit under an 
humbling sense of leanness and barrenness of spirit, 
which has been much my lot of late. Yet to the 
praise of Him who hath all power both in Heaven 
and on earth, who best knoweth when and how to 
dispense His seasons of summer and winter, of seed 
time and harvest, I may acknowledge that at some 
few times even of late He hath been mercifully 
pleased to unveil his countenance, and shine forth 
with renewed beauty, yea to open the way, going 
before and removing every obstacle, condescending 
to be mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance ; 
thereby confirming a belief that He hath not for- 
gotten nor forsaken me, but enables me to rejoice 
in Him my alone Helper. 

Notwithstanding, I think I may say I have ex- 
perienced deep baptisms, have been in deaths oft, 
in fastings and watchings, as well as at seasons fa- 
vored to taste the joys of God's salvation, in being 
made a free partaker of the rich consolations of the 
Spirit of Jesus Christ, our once suffering but now 
risen Lord, I yet feel myself but as a poor stripling ; 
and am often jealous over my own heart, lest for 
want of a close watch and attention to the ingrafted 
word of divine life in the soul, which alone is able 
to preserve us pure and spotless before the presence 
of Almighty goodness, (let the irreligious say what 



1835] SARAH TUCKER. 159 

they can, 1 believe they will one day realize this 
solemn truth,) any thing might be overlooked or 
receive admission, which on a close investigation 
should be found offensive to infinite purity. There- 
fore I reverently pray thee, O Lord God omnipo- 
tent, quicken me to more diligence and greater 
watchfulness against all that has not its root in thee, 
and to a true obedience unto all thy holy requisi- 
tions ; so O Lord shall thy great and worthy name 
be praised, honored, and adored, through time and 
in eternity by a little one. 

26th. I continue so feeble that I am not able to 
go out, and feel rather lonely ; however, I trust not 
wholly destitute of patience, although often in- 
wardly engaged for an increase both of faith and 
patience, that I may never let go my hold on Him 
who I believe has ever been mindful of me, and 
still remains to be, notwithstanding He permits me 
to be thus closely tried and proved. 

O gracious and holy Father, I pray thee, turn thy 
holy hand again and again upon me, and wholly 
purge away all that remains in me which is obnox- 
ious in thy sight ; surely it is not for nought that 
such deep baptisms, such bitter conflicts attend me, 
both within and without. Thou knowest, O search- 
er of all hearts, that I greatly desire to be cleansed, 
to be redeemed from all iniquity ; and that this 
may be accomplished, enable me to continue in 
prayer and supplication unto thee, through the as- 
sistance of thine own most holy Spirit, even to 
pray without ceasing, and in every thing to give 
thee thanks. 

Yesterday my dear husband left for Boston, with 
our son Samuel, now about fourteen years of age, 
in order to take him to the eye infirmary, he being 
almost deprived of his sight, which has been grad- 



160 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

ually diminishing ever since the injury he met with 
eight years ago. 

Tenth mo. 9th. After an absence of four days 
my dear husband and son returned from Boston. 
Nothing was done there for Samuel's help, but he 
is now placed under the care of a physician for 
medical treatment, which is deemed necessary pre- 
vious to a surgical operation on the eye — so that 
we still have some hope, though it seems to be 
deferred. I believe that He who is the same yes- 
terday, to-day and forever, is still able to restore 
sight to the blind, and that He will mercifully con- 
descend to bless the means used therefor, if con- 
sistent with His holy will and wisdom ; if not, I 
humbly trust He will graciously sustain our minds 
under this and every other affliction, enabling us 
to say in truth and sincerity, thy will O Lord, and 
not ours, be done. The dear lad appears to bear 
his privations remarkably, and sometimes speaks of 
his case in a manner truly consoling under such a 
dispensation. May the God of Jacob be his God, 
watch over and defend him from all the temptations 
of an unwearied enemy, preserving him in inno- 
cence and virtue to the end of his days, is my fer- 
vent prayer. 

For a week past I have been quite sick, able to 
sit up but little, having been again attacked with a 
pleuritic affection. Thus the Almighty is pleased 
in his unfathomable wisdom to deal with me; to try 
and to prove. Thus is He instructing and teach- 
ing me lessons, profitable lessons, which perhaps I 
never could have learned but in this school of afflic- 
tion. But O ! to the praise of His everlasting good- 
ness I write, He hath at this season dealt very 
tenderly and gently with me, soon removing the 
extremity of my pain, supporting with his power 



1835] SARAH TUCKER. 161 

and blessed presence my fainting soul, bowing, 
melting and tendering all within me capable of 
feeling, into resignation and submission to his holy 
will ; for which favor I desire in humble thankful- 
ness to adore His great and worthy Name. 

16th. I have not yet been out though my health 
is a little improved. My desire is, that I may dwell 
continually under a watchful care and exercise of 
soul, lest the enemy should get any advantage over 
me. O my Father and my God, be thou always 
near to preserve my soul from evil, and strengthen 
me to endure all things for thy blessed name's sake, 

22d. I have been out to meeting to-day, and 
was also at our last First-day meeting ; but oh ! the 
depth of poverty which I there experienced ! such 
strippedness and nakedness as was my lot whilst 
sitting with my beloved friends ! I know not why 
it is so ; I do not feel altogether so void of all good 
when at home in religious retirement, but am 
sometimes favored with a little of the Master's 
presence. Thou knowest, dearest Father, for what 
end I am thus tried in our meetings, and no doubt 
when thy blessed purposes are effected, will again 
raise me as from the dead therein. As there is a 
patient abiding this state of suffering and leanness, 
I humbly trust and believe that Thou who re- 
mainest to be the resurrection and the life, will yet 
appear to the reviving and comforting of my poor 
soul ; Thou who art the Alpha and the Omega, the 
first and the last, who was slain and art alive ; 
therefore in thee will I hope, my strength and my 
Redeemer. 

Eleventh mo. 29th. I am prevented from at- 
14* 



162 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

tending meeting to-day by bodily indisposition, but 
have been able to get to all our meetings which 
have occurred for five or six weeks past, (a precious 
privilege ;) also, accompanied by my dear husband, 
have visited thirty-seven families more in our 
Monthly Meeting, and there are still remaining fif- 
teen or sixteen others which I may yet see at some 
future time. I have likewise attended the meet- 
ings in Smith's and Allen's Necks, to good satisfac- 
tion, feeling my poor mind much relieved thereby. 
And I may with thankfulness acknowledge, that 
through these recent exercises my divine Master 
was graciously pleased to be near for my help and 
strength. O my soul, trust always in him, for He 
is a gracious God, kind and compassionate unto all 
that love and fear Him. 

I may here remark, that notwithstanding the 
precious life is low amongst us as a people, and in 
some places scarcely any right sense of feeling in re- 
ligious concern and exercise is apparent, my heart 
rejoiced and was made glad in meeting with some, 
who appeared to be under a good degree of right 
engagement for their own soul's salvation ; and such 
are hopeful. From these we may expect useful- 
ness in the Lord's plantation, if they are but wil- 
ling to endure the season of preparation, humbly 
abiding the purifying power of the Holy Ghost. 
O Lord, grant that this may be their happy expe- 
rience. But if such as have been trained up in our 
society and have enjoyed its privileges, turn from 
and despise the pure principle of divine light and 
grace, letting fall the testimonies of the blessed 
Truth, I believe others will be called as from the 
highways, to support and maintain them accord- 
ing to the ancient practice of our worthy fore- 
fathers in religious profession ; for 1 cannot suppose 
that it is the design of Almighty Providence, that 



1835] SARAH TUCKER. 163 

this people should fall and become extinct, whom 
He hath so signally gathered, and hitherto preser- 
ved through many storms and vicissitudes, (no 
doubt) for the blessed purpose of showing forth his 
own praise. 

Twelth mo. 2d. My dear husband has gone to 
New-Bedford to attend our Quarterly Meeting. I 
am yet too unwell to go out. This is now the 
fourth Quarter that I have been unable to attend, 
for want of health. But I feel tlrat it is the order- 
ing of an allwise Providence, and I will not mur- 
mur. He certainly knoweth what is best for me, 
and I desire with true submission to resign myself 
to all His fatherly corrections. 

3d. Encompassed with many infirmities, trials 
and besetments, my cry is, Lord be pleased to look 
down upon me, and help me according to thy great 
mercy. O grant me preservation from all the snares 
of the enemy, and uphold me by thy free spirit. 

8th. O holy Helper, be not far from me in this 
season of weakness ; condescend to be my strength. 
Sustain my often tried mind and suffer not the 
raging billows to overwhelm me, but in thy wont- 
ed and matchless loving kindness, stay my soul in 
humble confidence on thee, the immutable unchang- 
able Rock, the sure and never failing refuge of the 
righteous; even so O Lord, amen. 

19th. Truly I can say with David I have been 
afflicted from my youth up, notwithstanding I may 
with reverent gratitude acknowledge that my whole 
life has been crowned with loving kindness and 
tender mercies ; indeed numberless blessings and 
countless favors both spirtual and temporal, have 



164 MEMOIRS OF [1835 

I been made a partaker of, for all of which I de- 
sire thankfully to commemorate the mercy of God 
through Jesus Christ our holy Redeemer. And 
now in view of my weak state as it respects my 
poor body, the language of the apostle is revived 
namely — " The time is short. " Yea, it oft-times 
appears to me that it must indeed be short with 
me ; my poor w T orn emaciated and shattered tab- 
ernacle loudly proclaims, thy time is short. But 
O what shall I render to my God for all His bene- 
fits ? He has not forsaken me, notwithstanding my 
backslidings and my short comings, He has not left 
me, but has all along, blessed be His holy name, 
followed me with his grace and good spirit ; else 
where should I have been?-— He hath brought 
me low, and again and again hath He raised me 
up, — He hath brought me through many sore 
distresses and trying conflicts, again and again 
speaking peace Jo my soul. O, surely it is of the 
Lord's mercy that we are not consumed, because 
His compassions fail not, they are renewed every 
morning. Great is thy faithfulness O Lord, thy 
mercy is unfathomable, and thy judgments past 
finding out. Then O my soul, submit and resign 
thy all into His holy hand, ascribing honor, glory 
and praise unto His great name. 

20th I am sometimes led under severe trials to 
query, why is it thus with me ? But I always 
feel something like a check in this, assuredly be- 
lieving that He who permits these afflictive dis- 
pensations does indeed what # is best, and this is 
enough for me to know, although it sometimes 
seems as if I was made a wonder and a spectacle 
to others, being as it were daily appointed unto 
death, even that death whereby the natural man 
is slain, and the creaturely will subjected to the 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 165 

power of the cross of Christ, Oh Lord, carry on 
thy work of renovation in my heart, spare not 
until I am perfectly moulded into thine own im- 
age ; O wash me from mine iniquity and cleanse 
me from my sin ; and O most gracious and holy 
One, be pleased to fit and prepare me for a man- 
sion of rest and peace in thy blessed Kingdom be- 
fore I go hence, and am seen no more. 

Fourth mo. 17th, 1836. Quite a length of time 
has now elapsed since I have written much con- 
cerning my trials and exercises, having hardly had 
sufficient strength, and little or no ability therefor 
for four months past. I may now however remark, 
that they have not been at all lessened, but I have 
sometimes thought rather augmented, having in 
the course of the winter had I think to pass through 
some of the most painful baptisms I have ever ex- 
perienced. Oh the grevious besetments, bufferings 
and strong temptations of an unwearied adversary ! 
Truly at seasons I have been almost ready to fear 
I should never attain to the promised inheritance, 
but fall a prey in the wilderness, ready to suppose 
in a moment of weakness, that it was in judgment 
and displeasure, that the hand of the Almighty 
was thus turned upon, and seemingly against rne, 
because of my transgressions and my sins; having 
had to review my past life, even from my youth, 
and to call to remembrance my early sins — and 
although I could see that great mercy had all 
along been extended toward rne, and that nothing 
short of Omnipotence could have protected and 
preserved me from any snares and dangers to which 
I was exposed, yet was I undeserving and unworthy 
of the least of these His great mercies, and that 
now He whom I had desired and loved above all 
things else, had seen meet to withdraw and leave 



166 MEMOIRS OF [1836 

me in a barren and dry state; and O I feared He 
would never more return. It seemed at times as 
though I was now losing all faith, hope and confi- 
dence in divine support, having during this season 
of trial, had to pass through much bodily suffering, 
whereby I was sometimes brought very low. Yet 
after all and through [all, to the praise of His eter- 
nal power, who is the unfailing Keeper and sure 
refuge of the poor and needy, the distressed and 
afflicted, the tossed and not comforted, 1 never did 
quite lose my hold on Him ; and there were inter- 
vals in which a divine ray, an unclouded beam of 
heavenly light would unexpectedly break through 
the dark clouds upon my mind, and inspire a hope 
that perhaps the bitterness of death was past. Once 
when I was pondering and inquiring in my heart 
why it was thus with me, I took the bible in my 
hand and opened to that passage where the apostle 
thus exhorts the brethren, " For consider Him that 
endured such contradiction of sinners against him- 
self, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 
Ye have not resisted unto blood, striving against 
sin.' 7 O did I enough consider the vastness of the 
sufferings of my dear Redeemer, who did no sin, 
neither was guile found in his mouth, it would I 
believe tend to soften and mitigate mine — and fur- 
ther, " Ye have forgotten the exhortation, which 
speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, de- 
spise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint 
when thou art rebuked of him ; for whom the Lord 
loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son 
whom he receiveth." This was a consolation to 
my poor mind and I felt renewed strength to sup- 
plicate for a fresh supply of living faith, and for 
patience to do or to suffer, whatever might be rer 
quired of me, or permitted to come upon me ; 
that these momentary afflictions might yield to me 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 167 

the peaceable fruits of righteousness in the end. 
And I do believe that this was in mercy vouch- 
safed to me from the good hand of my heavenly 
Father, whose tender compassions fail not, but are 
often, yea, very often renewed unto us. My soul 
hath abundant cause still to bless the Lord, and to 
speak well of His excellent name, inasmuch as 
He still manifests himself to be graciously near, to 
comfort my poor soul in seasons of distress, and 
hath so bountifully provided for me as to the out- 
ward, who am, as 1 often feel myself to be, but as 
the least and most unworthy of all his flock and 
family. 

O Lord, preserve me from the power of the 
enemy ; oh keep me in the hour of trial, and grant 
thy unspeakable gift of divine grace, through 
which I may be enabled to keep the word of thy 
patience, in humble resignation to thy holy will 3 
now, henceforth and forevermore, Amen, 

23d. I feel I trust an humble hope that though 
afflicted and tried, I am not wholly forsaken of the 
everlasting Shepherd who still careth for his flock, 
and who will preserve his lambs from the teeth of 
the devouring wolf. 

27th. I am extremely weak and feeble as to 
the outward, and cannot look forward with much 
hope or prospect of more health or strength, but 
humbly trust that for the increase of spiritual 
strength, I may be mercifully helped availingly to 
supplicate ; and for the necessary qualification 
hereto may I be enabled to wait at my divine 
Master's feet, in awful silence and true submission 
to his holy will ; for it is alone his only begotten 
that can truly and acceptably call him Father. 
How needful, then, for us to wait upon him, to 



168 MEMOIRS OP [1886 

feel the quickening* influences of his Holy Spirit 
to raise in our hearts living prayers and interces- 
sions for preservation and protection from all that 
would destroy our everlasting happiness ; for of 
ourselves we cannot offer one word that will reach 
the sacred ear of Him who hath said, " Without 
me ye can do nothing." 

Fifth mo. 22d. I have not yet been out to 
meeting, but a hope is revived that I shall ere long 
again be permitted to assemble with my dear 
friends, for the solemn duty of publicly worshiping 
Almighty God, our great and merciful creator and 
preserver. And O, that I may be prepared, if thus 
favored, with grateful sensations and heartfelt 
thankfulness, acceptably to bow and worship be- 
fore Him who graciously regards the poor in spirit 
and saveth such as are of a contrite heart. I have 
often thought of our poor little meeting, as well as 
many others since my late confinement, and I 
greatly long that Truth and Friends may prosper, 
on the ancient foundation and righteous principle 
of faith and good works ; for faith without works 
is dead : hereby we prove our faith, even by our 
obedience to the law of Christ Jesus, our divine 
and holy lawgiver, who said, " My sheep hear my 
voice and I know them, and they follow me : and 
a stranger they will not follow." These follow 
their holy Guide, who leadeth into all truth; they 
obey the holy commands of their divine Master, 
and thus prove, by their obedience, their faith in 
his almighty power to redeem and to save them 
out of all trouble and from all adversity. 

Such, I believe, was the faith and the doctrine 
of our worthy predecessors, most clearly opened 
and revealed to them by the revelation of God, 
through his dear Son. Christ Jesus our Lord, who 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 169 

told his servants, when about to withdraw his visi- 
ble appearance from them, that he would not leave 
them comfortless, but would come unto them ; 
that he would pray the Father, who should give 
them another comforter, even the Spirit of Truth, 
who should guide them into all truth, and this 
promise is surely fulfilled. He hath come, a Com- 
forter to the humble and obedient servant of Jesus 
Christ — a Commander whom all ought to obey — a 
Leader to the meek and sincere child who is inquir- 
ing after truth and true happiness — a Light to en- 
lighten the dark and unregenerate heart of fallen 
man, causing him to see that life and death, good 
and evil, are set before him ; also to show the awful 
consequence of rebelling against this divine light ; 
and a reprover for sin and evil. O, then, may we 
diligently give heed to the wonderful Counsellor, 
the mighty God, the everlasting Father, and the 
Prince of Peace, who is an eternal shield of sure 
defence unto all who receive and believe in Him, 
who embrace, in all its parts, the whole covenant 
of the gospel of our blessed Lord and Saviour 
Jesus Christ, which covenant was sealed with his 
most precious blood, 

29th, (First-day.) Still laboring under much 
weakness of body, which, in a greater or less 
degree, tends to weigh down the soul, my inward 
cry is, Lord help me, and strengthen me to bear 
my sufferings as I ought. Enable me patiently to 
endure tribulation, and graciously grant, through 
the all-sufficiency of thy grace, that I may rejoice 
in the blessed hope of immortality and eternal life, 
at the solemn close, when the few remaining sands 
of life are run. O, Father, and fountain of all our 
sure mercies, condescend to look down upon me, 
a poor unworthy worm, even from thy high and 
15 



170 MEMOIRS OF [1836 

holy habitation, that my drooping spirit may be 
revived. O, strengthen with might the inner manj 
with the consolations of thy life-giving presence. 
O Lord, my rock, and my alone defence, thou art 
my hope and only hiding place ; be not far from 
me in my distress, but, if consistent with thy wis- 
dom, reach forth the arm of thy power and deliver 
me from the snares of my most potent foe. O 
Sovereign Love, thou dost indeed best know what 
is best for me ; and to thy all-wise direction and 
holy guidance I leave myself, beseeching that thou 
wouldst be pleased to direct my heart into the pa- 
tient waiting for the coming of the kingdom of 
thy dear Son Christ Jesus, our blessed and holy 
Redeemer. Be with thy people, O Lord, every- 
where that are assembled at this time, to worship 
thee with hearts duly prepared and purified 
through submission to the baptizing power of the 
Holy Ghost, sent down from heaven. Spread over 
all such the canopy of thy love, and enable them 
reverently to worship and adore thy great and ever 
worthy name, in the beauty of holiness, ascribing 
unto thee, with the dear Son of thy love, all pow- 
er, majesty, and dominion, now and forever more. 
Amen. 

Sixth mo. 5th. O Lord, be pleased to direct 
and lead me aright ; grant me clearly to see when, 
and where, and how to move in all things, that 
thy all-wise designs may not be frustrated. Thou 
knowest all things, thou knowest every motive of 
my heart, and that I desire to serve thee, in thy 
own way, more than any other thing. 

Sometimes I think my sufferings would be but 
light, could I but know they were for righteousness 
sake : O, then, the cross would be easy and pleas- 
ant. It has been often very trying to me to be so 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 171 

much absent from our little meeting ; for I do es- 
teem the attendance of meetings one of the high- 
est privileges which we are capable of enjoying, 
and I could wish that it might be more duly ap- 
preciated by some under our name than I fear it is. 
I long to meet with my dear friends, in order to 
wait upon the Lord, the great Creator and upholder 
of all things, in the midst of the congregations of 
the people. Those that are uprightly engaged 
to wait upon Him, in spirit and in truth, shall re- 
new their strength to run with patience the race 
set before them. Amid surrounding trials and dif- 
ficulties, when at times it may seem as though all 
would be swept away with the torrent and the 
mighty surging of the waves, we feel the need of 
divine aid and support. Ah ! were it not, O Lord, 
for thine eternal arm of divine and matchless 
strength, I could never have survived the dashing 
and foaming of the boisterous ocean of life unto 
this day; but thou didst make it bare again and 
ag^ain, to rescue and to save from the power of all 
that rose against me — everlastingly blessed be thy 
great and ever adorable name. 

12th. My soul hath been deeply humbled under 
a sense of my great weakness and entire depend- 
ence, having no might nor ability for any good 
thing. My cries have been raised to the great 
Fountain and unfailing source of all good, for help 
and support — for a renewed supply of living faith 
and hope, even that which alone can enable the 
soul to draw nigh unto Him, who is a God near at 
hand unto all who rightly trust in and lean upon 
him — who hath said, that for the oppression of 
the poor, for the sighing of the needy, he would 
arise. I am poor and needy ; help thou me, O 
Lord, my high tower, my only hope of salvation. 



172 MEMOIRS OF [1836 

for in thee alone do I trust. O my God, for thee 
will I wait, for thou art worthy; worthy to be 
waited for — to be worshiped, reverenced, loved, 
and obeyed, even now, henceforth, and forever 
more. 

My dear husband is gone to attend the Yearly 
Meeting. My health is such as not to admit of 
my attending ours at home. May the great Shep- 
herd be near to preside over the annual assembly ; 
may he dwell in the hearts of those who are en- 
gaged to serve him — who minister at his holy 
altar. May these be clean handed and pure hearted, 
that an holy offering may be made unto Him who 
seeth in secret — yea, verily, he seeth the inmost 
recesses of all hearts, and will sooner or later re- 
ward accordingly. O, that all may be more and 
more concerned to give diligent heed to this sol- 
emn injunction, " Be ye clean that bear the vessels 
of the Lord." 

O, what pity it is that riches, and the wisdom 
and knowledge of this world, should have any in- 
fluence in our religious society; for where this 
is in any degree the case, it is very observable 
that its effects are to deaden and darken, to be- 
numb and stupify. Since it is so, that we poor 
frail, finite creatures, cannot bear these things 
without being puffed up thereby, unless the heart 
is seasoned with divine grace ; and, through the re- 
peated descendings and purifying operations of the 
Holy Ghost sent down from heaven, is cleansed 
and transformed by the renewings thereof, I have 
sometimes thought that this acquired knowledge, 
added to worldly greatness,, which often begets 
self-importance, has been too much leaned upon 
for our defence, even in religious concerns, forget- 
ting our dependent state, and that for every good 
act, our sufficiency, our qualification is of God. the 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 173 

giver of all good, and who hath in his holy wis- 
dom, chosen the poor of this world, and the weak, 
yea, the base and contemptible, in the eyes of the 
worldly wise, (yet rich in faith and good works,) 
in order to confound the wise and bring to naught 
the understanding of the prudent. But I comfort- 
ably believe that there are many up and down 
amongst us who are earnestly engaged to maintain 
the watch, and to cry in secret for the preservation 
of themselves, and also for the whole family ; and 
I am persuaded that these will experience the pro- 
tecting care of our heavenly Father. But are not 
riches and worldly honor too eagerly pursued? 
Do they not tend to the wounding of the Lord's 
precious cause ? Let us all be willing candidly to 
examine. 

16th. My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for 
the courts of the Lord : my heart and my flesh 
crieth out for the living God. Yea, the spar- 
row hath found a house, and the swallow a 
nest for herself, where she may lay her young ; 
and shall not I again be fed and nourished, again 
be succored and replenished from thy bountiful 
board, O holy Father? Shall I not yet be satis- 
fied with thy favor, and with the blessing of the 
Most High ? If there be any thing in me which 
obstructs thy glorious appearance, I beseech thee, 
for thy great Name's sake, and for thy dear Son's 
sake, show it unto me. Reduce me again and 
again, dip me and strip me, plunge me into thine 
own baptism, that so no dreg, no unclean thing 
may remain, and I may be prepared, at thy return, 
to enter with thee into that sweet union and com- 
munion, which thou deignest to hold with the 
pure and sanctified soul. O, strengthen me to en- 
dure all things, to hold on, and to hold out unto 
the end : come what may come, prepare and 
15* 



174 MEMOIRS OF [1836 

qualify me to adopt the language of one of thy 
deeply tried servants formerly, " Though thou slay 
me, yet will I trust in thee." 

I remain very much unwell ; have been able to 
attend but one meeting for nearly seven months 
past. But it is the Lord's will ; Q may his blessed 
will be done concerning me, for He hath testified 
by his servant, that all things work together for 
good to them that love God. O, may my soul love 
thee, my gracious Redeemer, in all thy dispensa- 
tions, and bless thee for the administration of thy 
rod, as well as for the putting forth of thy staff. 

18th. Thou art good O Lord, thou art merciful 
and gracious to the soul that seeketh thee, there- 
fore will I bless and praise thy holy name, forever 
and ever. 

O, keep the feet of thy people ; let them not 
slip from the true foundation. Thou knowest, O 
Lord, the snares which the crafty enemy hath laid 
to overthrow, to undermine the true Church — but 
may she cleave to thee, her holy Head ; leaning 
and reposing in humble confidence on thy all-pow- 
erful Arm, for help and deliverance out of all the 
mischiefs of Satan, that she may be kept chaste 
and clean, without spot or wrinkle in thy divine 
sight. 

Seventh mo. 6th. My dear husband absent at 
our Quarterly Meeting. I am still an invalid at 
home, endeavoring after quiet resignation to my 
divine Master's will ; and may gratefully acknowl- 
edge that my privations have been made easier than 
I could have thought. The love and kindness of 
our Heavenly Father is indeed great towards his 
little dependent ones ! Great is his condescension 
in stooping to soothe and to comfort the weary and 



1836] SARAH TUCKER. 175 

afflicted, giving them at seasons to behold the light 
and beauty of his glorious presence, thereby dis- 
pelling the clouds of darkness, and mists of gloom 
which at times so hang over and depress the poor 
traveller on his way to the mansions of eternal bliss. 

7th. Many temptations, many snares there are, 
to which the children of men are liable ; but what 
mercy it is when we are favored to see the snares 
and baits of our dire foe. O, if we keep to that 
which shews us the evil, I believe we shall witness 
preservation from yielding thereto, or in any degree 
indulging therein. Turning unto this holy princi- 
ple of light and life in the soul, which is all-suffi- 
cient, salvation will be our wall of defence, and 
our gates eternal praise unto Him who is our shield 
and protection from all harm. O Lord, thou art 
my guard and my keeper, my light and my strength. 
O, thou most mighty One, suffer not the raging 
billows to overwhelm me. 

Eighth mo. 12th. Keep me, O Shepherd of Is- 
rael, and preserve me from every snare and delusion 
of the evil one, Let thy holy fear encompass my 
dwelling, and be as an impregnable defence against 
every invasion of wrong, that through thy merciful 
aid, my heart may be kept clean, and prepared to 
do thy blessed will. Forget me not, O God of 
compassion, but condescend to be with me in every 
strait and trial, for thou art my hope and my trust 
forever. 

Ninth mo. 28th. I have recently been to Rhode 
Island, on a visit to my beloved relatives and friends, 
where I spent about ten days, much to my satis- 
faction — attended meeting on first and fourth days 
to the relief of my own mind — had an opporfctin- 



176 MEMOIRS OF [1837 

ity to see, and be in company a little with some of 
my much loved friends, which was very pleasant, 
and in a particular manner with dear Benjamin 
Freeborn, who seems quietly waiting the solemn 
change. He appeared bright in his intellect, and 
lively in conversation. I thought his sun would 
indeed set with brightness. He is one I have 
long held in high estimation, often remembering 
his kind and fatherly care over me when a poor 
strippling in religious experience, which was min- 
gled with christian prudence, rendering him dear 
to me. I was prevented from making many visits 
through feebleness of body, yet was thankful to be 
able to sit with Friends in their meetings. I had 
to pass through some close conflicts and trying ex- 
ercises previous to this visit ; but my gracious 
Helper was entreated — 1 felt a liberty to go, and 
I trust, an evidence that I should return to my be- 
loved family. How great is the goodness and 
mercy of our heavenly Father, unto all who trust 
in Him alone for deliverance ! O, gracious and 
holy One, look down upon me, and fill my heart 
with humble gratitude and praise to thee, the 
blessed Author of all good ; keep me humble and 
watchful in all my future steppings through this 
vale of sorrow, that I may be prepared when done 
with time, to be united with the just of all gener- 
ations in singing the song of the ransomed and re- 
deemed, in thy holy presence, and in the presence 
of thy dear Son, Christ Jesus, our Lord. 

First mo. 8th, 1837. It is now six or seven 
weeks since I was able to be at meeting, yet am, 
through the continued mercy and kindness of our 
heavenly Father, so as to be a little about my 
room, and at times pretty comfortable, though 
almost constantly laboring under great weakness 



1837] SARAH TUCKER. 177 

and debility. But T will not complain ; I dare not 
murmur, when I contrast my situation with many, 
very many, who are laboring under great afflictions, 
and who are destitute of almost every comfort and 
accommodation which might, in some degree, alle- 
viate their distress, the which I am greatly favored 
with. Nay, instead of complaining, may I thank- 
fully adore and bless thy holy name and power, O 
Lord, for all thy mercies and for all thy benefits. 

For three months previous to this confinement, 
I was favored with such a degree of health as to 
enable me to attend nearly all our meetings in 
course, and at times therein my thirsty sou! was 
much refreshed and comforted by the good presence 
of my blessed Master, who, in the riches of his mer- 
cy, condescended to be near, to own, to bless, and 
to break a little of his own heavenly bread amongst 
us. O, I trust He will continue to be near, to 
watch over and defend his little flock and family, 
wherever scattered, even such as love him and keep 
his commandments — who know his voice, and 
turn not aside after strange voices ; yea, these he 
will hold as in the hollow of his holy hand, and 
none shall be able to pluck them from thence. 
But alas? alas? for those who have known the 
truth, the blessed truth as it is in Jesus — who 
have tasted of the good word of life, and the pow- 
er of the world to come, should they fall away, 
and turn again to the vanities and indulgences of 
a carnal mind ! What will their portion be in the 
end? 

21st. What is my state and condition ; my spir- 
itual condition? O, thou Searcher of all hearts, 
do I advance toward, or recede from thy holy 
kingdom ? I sometimes fear the latter may be my 
case. O, open and enlighten my inward eye to see 



178 MEMOIRS OF [1837 

myself as I am seen of thee ; strengthen me, O 
Father, to maintain the warfare, to keep up the 
watch between flesh and spirit ; through all trials 
and every besetment be thou graciously near to 
succor and to preserve me out of the snares of the 
enemy. O, most merciful Father, spare not to 
purge and purify my soul, even as with hyssop, 
that I may be made thoroughly clean through the 
effectual working of thine holy power, and may 
yet more fully know an overcoming of all my 
soul's enemies : even so prayeth my heart. Amen. 

24th. Renew, O Lord, my strength in thee, 
according to thy will. O, visit my soul with thy 
heavenly love, thy melting, tendering power and 
goodness, that all within me may bow in humble 
prostration before thee, whose only right it is to 
rule in my heart. O, holy One, forsake me not, 
but create in me a clean heart, and renew a right 
spirit within me ; enable me to keep near to thee, 
trusting in thy all-sufficient strength, O thou Pre- 
server of men. I am deeply sensible of my weak- 
ness, knowing of a truth, that without thee I shall 
fail of reaching the desired haven of rest ; there- 
fore, do I earnestly crave from thee a little crumb 
from day to day, of that bread which gives strength 
and encouragement to press forward through all in 
the way everlasting. 

Second mo. 19th. For near a week past, I have 
been much afflicted with pain, which has made my 
nights tedious, and my days distressing; but, 
through the continued goodness and mercy of my 
gracious Preserver, I am much relieved therefrom. 
May I duly appreciate and gratefully acknowledge 
this and every other mercy received. 

My family all gone to meeting — I only am 



1837] SARAH TtJCKER. 179 

left. O Lord, rememember and look down with 
pity upon us ; enable us to draw inwardly near 
unto thee, and acceptably to worship and bow be* 
fore thine holy presence. Gracious Father, regard 
with compassion my dear children, and suffer them 
not to depart from thy holy fear, neither to stray 
from thy divine protection, the alone fold of rest 
and peace. O visit and revisit their youthful 
minds — * quicken and inspire their hearts with love 
to thee and to thy righteous cause of truth. 

Fourth mo. 6th. To-day all my dear family, 
husband and children, absent— gone to attend our 
Quarterly Meeting held at New Bedford. I am 
still unable to go out. O these are privations 
which are sensibly felt by one whose heart is 
deeply interested for the welfare of our Society, 
and in a peculiar manner at such a crisis as this, 
when hosts of enemies are encamped around, yea, 
lay in ambush on every side ; and many there be 
who have fallen both on the right hand and on the 
left. Yet I do comfortably believe that there is 
still preserved a precious remnant, who have not 
bowed unto Baal, nor kissed his image, yea, and 
will be preserved as they keep near to Israel's 
Shepherd, and are obedient unto his Truth, willing 
patiently to suffer for his great name and testimo- 
ny's sake. For I believe the Lord will have a 
people ; and his true church and people always 
were an afflicted company of sojourners, not looking 
for, or seeking to find an undisturbed rest here be- 
low, but pressing forward through many tribula- 
tions after that holy rest and quiet, which is most 
assuredly prepared for the people of God. And in 
a solemn view hereof, I desire reverently and thank- 
fully to acquiesce in His holy will concerning me. 
For surely I may say, that great and marvellous 



ISO memoirs of [1837 

are His works, just and true are all his ways — and 
he will keep the feet of those who fear and serve 
Him in truth and uprighteousness of heart, although 
their lot may be in solitude, secluded from the vis- 
ible communion and fellowship of the church. 
And even here at seasons, intercessions have been 
made by hidden, yet livingly baptized members, 
which I have no doubt have reached the sacred 
ear of our Father which is in heaven, that he would 
pity his people, and spare them from reproach, and 
not give his heritage to the heathen; for why 
should they rule and have dominion over this 
highly favored family. 

O ! that there might be no more just occasion 
given, thus to query — " Who gave Jacob for a spoil, 
and Israel to the robbers?" for will it not be replied 
" did not the Lord, He against whom we have sin- 
ned ?" for they would not walk in his ways, nei- 
ther were they obedient unto his law. Therefore, 
he hath poured upon him the fury of his anger, and 
the strength of battle ; and it hath set him on fire 
round about, yet he knew it not; and it burned 
him, yet he laid it not to heart. 

10th» Last night was a most distressing season 
to me, occasioned by extreme bodily suffering, 
which is often my lot. But I thought it was nev- 
ertheless, a good time, if rightly improved, for the 
exercise of faith and patience, in humble submiss- 
ion to the divine will, in order to secure the unfad- 
ing crown of everlasting peace. I felt engaged to 
intercede for divine aid and support, that patience 
might have her perfect work in and upon me, want- 
ing nothing, so that complete victory might be ob- 
tained over all the temptations and buffetings of 
the, enemy. And blessed be God, the Father of 
our Lord Jesus Christ for His unspeakable gift of 



1837] SAHAH TUCKER. 181 

divine grace, which is sufficient and able to save to 
the uttermost ; and which alone giveth the victory 
and inspires the cheering hope of a crown of peace 
in the end. For surely were it not for this blessed 
hope, which is as an anchor of the soul, both sure and 
steadfast, the poor mind must sink. O, nothing short 
of divine support will do, naught but divine succor 
will avail ; Jesus alone can prevent the overwhelm- 
ing surge from dashing in pieces our frail barks ; — 

then I will cleave unto Thee, my dear Saviour, 
my strong Rock, and safe refuge ; the beloved of 
souls, the Physician of value, the saints hope, 
the sinners Friend; for without thee, all is vanity, 
all unavailing j we can do nothing. 

16th. Weak and feeble to-day ; but surely con- 
solation is derived from the reflection, " strong is 
the Lord," and that he is near to all that call upon 
him with a contrite heart. I will call upon him 
whilst I have my breath, for he only is my helper, 
in whom I have hope and strength. He it is that 
can uphold and sustain under every trial and re- 
newed baptism, into which the poor mind may. be 
plunged. He hath wonderfully supported and 
brought me through much suffering and through 
great tribulations, both inward and oytward, for 
which great mercy I humbly hope ever to com- 
memorate his goodness and unspeakable kindness, 
and to praise his ever worthy name. 

I have very recently heard of the illness of my 
youngest brother, Henry Fish, at Portsmouth, R. I. 

1 understand his case, is a very doubtful one, 
not thought likely to recover. It seems very try- 
ing to my feelings that I am not able to visit him 
on this occasion ; but I resign myself to the all- 
wise dispensations of unerring Wisdom. I am 
thankful I have the satisfaction to believe, that he 

16 



182 MEMOIRS OF [1337 

has been under the preparing hand of our heavenly 
Father, for quite a length of time, having had but 
very poor health for some months previous to his 
confinement. I thought when I last saw him that 
he was often led to review the past, and to endea- 
vor to be in readiness to meet the coming event in 
a christian manner. It has been my fervent prayer 
that divine love and mercy might be near unto him 
in all his afflictions ; that his mind may be gathered 
where he may see the true situation of his soul, 
and be strengthened and encouraged to look unto 
the Lord, the helper of the helpless, and receive a 
sure token of His mercy, and be accounted worthy 
to obtain an unfading crown of peace at the last. 

30th. Poor and needy, empty and void. Come, 
O holy One, enlighten, quicken and revive my 
spirit in humble hope, in living faith, to wait pa- 
tiently for thy return ; thy gladdening smiles of ev- 
erlasting love and redeeming mercy. 

Fifth mo. 17th. O Lord, be pleased to look 
down from thy high and holy habitation, and re- 
member me in my weak and low condition. Grant 
me of thy great mercy, strength to bear all my in- 
firmities in.a right manner ; preserve me from mur- 
muring or repining, because of the present afflictive 
dispensations ; thy divine grace is sufficient for all 
that may come. O dearest Father, replenish my 
heart therewith, that I may be kept through thine 
own power from all evil, and be preserved out of 
all the temptations of the wicked one. O ! may I 
never offend thee in any way, my blessed Lord, 
neither in word, thought, or deed, but enable me 
to set a double watch at the door of my lips. 

My dear brother at Rhode-Island is fast failing, 
rapidly hastening toward that land whence none 



1837] SARAH TUCKER. 183 

return ; but it is truly consoling to hear that he is 
calm, and very patient, and to believe, that through 
obedience to the effectual working of divine grace, 
the quick and powerful word of God in his heart, 
that he will be prepared and purified for a mansion 
of rest, in the kingdom of our Lord and Saviour 
Jesus Christ. Well might the holy apostle ex- 
claim, " Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable 
gift." 

Sixth mo. 5th. Thou, O Lord, art my sun and 
my shield, my joy, and the crown of my rejoicing. 
Whom have I in heaven but thee, or do I desire in 
all the earth in comparison with thee, thou blessed 
and holy One, the beloved of my soul, the chief- 
est among ten thousand, my holy helper, my sure 
refuge from every storm and tempest. O thou hast 
again and again, to my humbling admiration made 
bare thine omnipotent arm for my deliverance. 
Thou hast brought me through seas of mental 
conflict and distress, yea, also through deep and in- 
expressible bodily sufferings, sustaining my head 
above the raging waves, even when it seemed as it 
were but an hairs' breadth between me and death. 
O, I often think and meditate on thy mercies, in 
the seasons when my cup was mixed with worm- 
wood and gall, yea, my soul hath them still in re- 
membrance, and is humbled within me. Thou 
sufferedst not the enemy to triumph over me, but 
didst cast the horse and his rider into the sea. O 
Lord, thou hast triumphed gloriously. Thou art 
glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing won- 
ders. Worthy art thou, with the Son of thy love, 
of all praise, might, majesty and dominion, forever 
and forever more, amen. 

My dear brother Henry, after languishing for 
several months, was on the 4th of the present, re- 



184 MEMOIRS OF [1837 

moved by death, to (I comfortably hope,) a haven 
of rest and peace ; which he seemed earnestly en- 
gaged to seek after. My dear husband visited him 
little more than two weeks before his decease. He 
was fully aware of his situation, and spoke of it 
with meekness and calmness ; seemed engaged to 
press after full resignation to the divine will, and 
said he felt a good degree of hope in divine mercy ; 
that he had no merits of his own, and although the 
hope he then felt, was not so full and strong as he 
could desire, yet he would not part with what he 
did feel, for any consideration — or words to the 
like effect. The evening preceding his removal, 
he took a solemn and affectionate farewell of his 
near relatives and friends then present. O, that we 
who still remain, may be afresh incited to make 
speedy preparation for the solemn, awful change 
which awaits us all. May no time be lost, seeing 
we know not the day nor the hour in which the 
Son of man cometh. 

I was not able to see or be with him in his sick- 
ness or death, having now been confined for near 
seven months past with sickness, but I was enabled 
to write him several times, which was a great sat- 
isfaction to me, and I have no doubt it was much 
so to him. I desire, dearest Father, humbly to ac- 
quiesce in thy holy will, and that I may be truly 
qualified in all things, to give thanks unto thee, for 
great is thy goodness, great is thy mercy, and won- 
derful thy love and condescension unto thy crea- 
ture man. 

Seventh mo. 30th. Through the continued 
mercy of an all gracious God, I have to-day again 
been permitted to attend meeting, having been ab- 
sent eight months by reason of sickness. 1 was 
unexpectedly raised to bear testimony to the ever- 



1S38] SARAH TUCKER. 185 

lasting unchangeable Truth. Surely, it is the Lord's 
doing, and it is marvellous in my eyes ! truly I can 
acknowledge He hath his way in the cloud and in 
the storm, in the wind and the thick darkness, and 
worketh righteously in all his ways, according to 
his own blessed counsel and wisdom. 

Eighth mo. 2d. O ! blessed Saviour, my only 
refuge in times of trouble, be pleased to be gra- 
ciously near to support my often sinking mind, and 
enable me patiently to endure all the sufferings, 
pains and distresses, whether of body or spirit, 
which thou mayest permit to overtake me in this 
state of probation. My petition, O Lord, is, for 
thy supporting power and presence ; then I am 
confident I can drink thy cup, and be baptized 
with thy baptism, yea, receive every of thy dis- 
pensations with all submission. O, leave me not 
in the time of trial and distress, but be graciously 
pleased to keep me in the hour of temptation. 

First mo. 28th, 1838. I feel that I am a poor 
creature, of myself destitute of all good ; but when 
I remember thy mercies. O Lord, my soul is ani- 
mated still to hope and trust in thy incorruptible 
word of divine power and consolation. O preserve 
me thereby to the day of thy coming, wash me 
again and again, make me to know wisdom, and 
understand thy righteousness — even truth in the 
inward parts, and holiness of heart. Yea, strength- 
en me to resist patiently and manfully all evil, in 
the lesser as well as in greater things, that so, O 
righteous Father, I may be found meet to be with 
thee in thy holy kingdom. 

I have not been able to be at meeting for nearly 
two months, having been confined by sickness. 
O dearest Father, be graciously pleased to be near 
1 16* 



186 _ MEMOIRS OF [1838 

to support and sustain me through every conflict ; 
and grant through the aboundings of thy rich mer- 
cy, thy free grace, that all these light afflictions 
may work together for good, even to the thorough 
completion of the blessed work of the redemption 
of my soul ; is the fervent prayer of my heart. 

Second mo. 4th. Manifold are the favors and 
benefits conferred on me by an all gracious Benefac- 
tor. I desire ever rightly to appreciate and grate- 
fully to acknowledge them unto Him from whom 
all my blessings flow, whether temporal or spiritual ; 
and O that I may be found faithful, remembering 
that if not, in the day of righteous inquisition, I 
shall be inexcusable. Even sickness and weak- 
ness, pain and distress do not exempt us from our 
respective duties, social and religious. I find it no 
shelter for me, although the enemy would feign 
have persuaded me to such a belief: no, no, there 
is a holy warfare to be maintained, a watchful, 
prayerful state of mind to be preserved, even against 
every appearance of evil, a wrestling through many 
sore besetments, both from within and without, to 
obtain the blessing ; even the blessing of preserva- 
tion, and to be accounted worthy to partake of the 
faith and patience of the saints, and finally to ob- 
tain an inheritance among all them which are sanc- 
tified, who have, through great tribulation, washed 
their robes and made them white in the blood of 
the Lamb, our holy and blessed Redeemer. 

O strengthen me holy Jesus, through all my fu- 
ture trials and probations, patiently and resignedly 
to submit thereunto, committing all to thy safe 
keeping, body, soul and spirit, with all that is most 
near and dear, Amen, Amen. 

Second mo. 22d. I am (said the Psalmist,) poor 



183S] SARAH TUCKER. 187 

and needy, yet the Lord thinketh upon me. O, 
how exceeding great is his care and watchful Prov- 
idence over his dependent children ; so great that 
not even an hair of their heads falleth to the ground 
without his notice. Assured of this consoling 
truth, why should I not be content and humbly 
resigned unto every of his all-wise dispensations, 
steadfastly believing that as they are meekly and 
patiently submitted to, however trying in their de- 
gree and nature, they will ere long, work for me a 
far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. I 
am often constrained in remembrance of his mercy 
to adopt this language, " Great is the Lord, and 
greatly to be praised, for all his mercies to the chil- 
dren of men." Indeed when I recall to mind his 
love and his care, vouchsafed to me in my infant 
years/ his tendering, melting, powerful visitations, 
even before I could scarcely know from whence 
this holy influence came, begetting in me fervent 
desires after righteousness, and so to live as not to 
be afraid to die ; my soul is bowed and truly hum- 
bled within me for all his great and manifold mer- 
cies, and in that, He hath not left me altogether, 
notwithstanding my often backsliding and revolting 
from his holy covenant, but hath from time to time 
manifested his tender regard, his love and his pity 
for me an unworthy creature. There is no God 
like unto our God, a strong tower and safe refuge 
for all the righteous in the day of trouble. And 
now, although confined at home, afflicted with pain 
by night and by day, and encompassed with many 
weaknesses and infirmities, my portion often that 
of poverty and desertion, yet still is He near ; his 
eternal arm of divine power I feel at seasons to be 
graciously underneath, to support and bear me up, 
amid all my sufferings ; blessed be his holy name 
and power, now and forever. 



188 MEMOIRS OF [1838 

Fourth mo. 1st. O Lord be pleased to lend a 
propitious ear, hear thou the cries of the poor and 
needy, and the sighing of the oppressed. O, mit- 
igate the sufferers woe, and hasten, if consistent 
with thy blessed will, the happy moment when the 
poor captive shall be made free, when tyranny 
shall no more be practiced over one portion of the 
human family ; but when all shall alike partake of 
the blessing of freedom which thou hast equally 
bequeathed to all. Thus, O Lord, would the earth 
again be permitted to enjoy her rest. In thine 
own time, O Lord, hasten thy great work. 

Amidst all my complicated trials and baptisms I 
feel deeply sensible of the manifold obligations I 
am under unto thee, O Lord, for thy great and 
boundless mercies granted to me, who am unwor- 
thy of the least of them. Holy Father, enable 
me, through thy grace, to drink the cup which thou 
hast allotted ; to kiss the rod, though it may seem 
to be severe. All I ask is thy supporting power 
and presence ; but if thou shouldst see meet to 
withhold thy cheering smiles, then preserve me 
from the power of the enemy, O thou who art 
my hope and trust, my only shield and my defence. 

Ninth mo, 23d. I again resume my pen because 
I feel constrained to commemorate the infinite mer- 
cy of a great and Almighty helper and preserver, 
who hath been with me through many close search- 
ings, conflicts and deeply baptizing seasons, who, 
when patience seemed almost exhausted, and faith 
reduced to a very small grain, did enable me to 
hold fast my confidence in his eternal arm of pow- 
er, and hath strengthened and sustained me under 
many trials, both from within and without, to stand 
still and see his salvation ; and over and above all 
hath been pleased again to lift up the light of his 



1838] SARAH TUCKER. 189 

glorious countenance and shine upon my dwelling, 
making glad my heart, even in the midst of afflic- 
tion. And now, O blessed Saviour, be pleased to 
grant me an humble and thankful heart, for all thy 
mercies and favors which thou hast condescended 
to confer upon me, and enable me in an acceptable 
manner to praise, exalt and magnify thy glorious 
and holy name and power, even so, Amen, and 
Amen. 

Tenth mo. 1st, and First of the week. A large 
meeting to-day in consequence of a funeral. A 
portion of divine favor was extended even to 
me, an unworthy worm, being permitted vocally 
to supplicate the throne of mercy on behalf of us 
then present. Forget not, O my soul, the mercies 
thou art made a partaker of. 

Eleventh mo. 27th. Many times may I not say 
with Israel of old, If it had not been the Lord 
was on my side I should long since have been 
swallowed up of the enemy of all truth. But the 
never failing arm of divine power has hitherto 
been round about and underneath, I verily believe 
(although at some pinching seasons scarcely to 
be felt or discerned by me) to keep me from the 
power of the beast, and from the dragon's wrath. 
O that acceptable praise and humble thanksgiving 
may daily ascend as from the temple of my heart, 
both for thy rod and thy staff, all the few remain- 
ing hours of my stay here, unto thee my blessed 
Saviour, Redeemer, and my only Rock of safety. 

Thou knowest holy Father, all my trials, my 
secret conflicts both of flesh and spirit ;■ thou 
knowest my poverty, my weakness, that it is 
great, that without thee, I can do nothing. It is 
unto thee, O thou almighty helper and strength" 



190 MEMOIRS OF [1839 

ener that I look, and on thee alone depend ; O 
grant of thy mercy that I may be favored so to 
steer my course through this fluctuating scene of 
conflicts and of tribulation, as that no spot nor 
blemish may be brought upon thy holy cause of 
truth and righteousness through me. 

Twelfth mo. 7th, My family all gone to attend 
the Quarterly Meeting — -lam left pretty much 
alone, not able to bear them company by reason of 
my weak state of health. Lord help me to bear 
my privations as becometh a professor of thy 
blessed Truth. O suffer me not to fall into a re- 
pining disposition, nor a murmuring thought to 
lodge within my breast because of these afflic- 
tions, but strengthen me patiently to endure and 
willingly to suffer all things for thy blessed Name's 
sake. Myterious indeed are the workings of thine 
almighty Providence. But I will be content, I 
will strive for resignation, so shall all things work 
together for my good, for thou who knowest all 
things knowest that I love thee as my chiefest 
good. 

Third mo. 1839. O Lord, be graciously pleased 
to remember me, thy unworthy servant. For thy 
mercy's sake have pity upon me, and strengthen 
me to press onward through all the trials and temp- 
tations which may yet await or assail me in this 
probationary scene. O keep my heart steadfast 
unto thee, patiently waiting in humble faith and 
hope for thy redeeming power, which alone can 
save and redeem out of all adversity and distress. 
To thee alone I look, thou art my Saviour, my 
Rock and my Redeemer ; to thee my heart is open, 
thou knowest all my wants, and the sincerity of 
my desires — Oh work in and for me of thy own 



1839] SARAH TUCKER. 191 

good pleasure, to do in all things according to thy 
holy will. 

Fourth mo. 6th. I was favored to attend our 
Quarterly Meeting, held last week at New Bedford. 
It was to the comfort and refreshment of my poor 
and often tried mind, having renewedly to believe 
that however the beast and his forces may rage 
against the Truth, and the dragon may pour forth 
his floods, the Lamb and his followers will have 
the victory ; for the name of the Lord remains to 
be a safe and sure refuge to all that trust in it, and 
much consolation is derived from the blessed as- 
surance that the foundation of God standeth sure, 
having this seal, the Lord knoweth them that are 
his. His holy name and righteous testimony, I 
trust were exalted, and may his power be forever 
magnified saith my soul. 

Poor in spirit, and laboring under considerable 
infirmity and weakness of body, my cry is, Lord 
help me and keep me on every side, enable me to 
keep a continual watch, to maintain the holy war- 
fare, that the motions of corrupt nature, may not 
in any wise be suffered to overcome the pure and 
divine motions of thy holy spirit ; but that thou, 
oh righteous Father, may in all things have the 
pre-eminence, and the dominion over my heart. 
Subdue I humbly pray thee, every seed of evil 
within me, and wholly redeem me out of the first 
nature, that I may more and more experience thy 
divine love to dwell richly in my heart. Strength- 
en me to endure all things with meekness and 
patience for thy blessed name and testimony's 
sake. O leave me not, but condescend to be near 
in all the further provings thou mayest see meet in 
thy unsearchable wisdom to dispense unto me thy 



192 MEMOIRS OP [1839 

unworthy servant, and to thee be forever ascribed 
all power and praise. 

Eighth mo. 28th. I am unable to attend our 
Monthly Meeting to-day, having been quite unwell 
for a week past ; but I trust in good measure pre- 
served quiet and resigned, through the condescend- 
ing goodness and mercy of my heavenly Father. 
I have during this season of weakness and reduc- 
tion of bodily strength, renewedly felt his love, 
mercy and kindness to be most precious to my soul, 
very far transcending all earthly enjoyments; so that 
although tried and afflicted both on the right hand 
and on the left, I still have the satisfaction to be- 
lieve I am not forsaken nor forgotten of my God. 

this precious sense and feeling of His love and 
tender mercy, His protecting wing over me, is 
more to be valued than gold, yea than the most 
fine gold. I have been made renewedly and fer- 
vently to crave that under all circumstances, in 
heights and in depths, in prosperity or adversity, 
in suffering or reigning, in want or in abounding, 

1 might never lose sight of this most inestimable 
pearl ; but that it may be my constant care and 
concern so to run the race which is set before me, 
as ere long to arrive at the mark, and receive the 
prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus our 
Lord, and be made more and more a partaker of 
that life which is hid with Christ in God ; that life 
and light which is unknown to the carnal and 
unregenerate mind, that hath not been washed 
and purified in the laver of regeneration, nor sub- 
mitted to the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire 
which alone can prepare for those celestial enjoy- 
ments of union and communion with our holy and 
divine Lord. O that a concern for this may be my 
Alpha and Omega, the first and the last of each sue- 



1839] SARAH TUCKER. 193 

ceeding day of my remaining life ; and my fervent 
desire is, that it may also become more and more 
the concern of all my dearly beloved children and 
friends ; yea, of all mankind. May all prize the day 
of the Lord's merciful visitation to their souls, and 
strive after durable riches, true and solid substance, 
because it will one day be found a truth, as one 
has very justly observed, " all is vanity but the 
love of God, and a life devoted to His will. " 

Ninth mo. Sth. Again prevented from attend- 
ing meeting. O Lord, preserve me ; enable me to 
keep the watch, to maintain the warfare in humble 
patience, faith and christian meekness, with all 
forbearance, gentleness and love, and with single- 
ness of heart and eye to thy glory and everlasting 
praise, O thou who art our holy shield, our hope 
and sure defence. 

23d. I was this day made sensible in some de- 
gree of thy loving kindness and tender mercy, as I 
sat in meeting O Lord, my Saviour. It is indeed 
great, and thou art greatly to be praised for thy 
wonderful condescension to our low estate. May 
I not forget thy loving kindness, thy supporting 
power and presence in all my trials and conflicts. 

[She here mentions that her dear husband was at 
this time absent at New- York, with their son Sam- 
uel, for the purpose of endeavoring to obtain relief 
for his eyes, which were operated upon by Doct. 
Delafield. They remained in New-York about 
six weeks ; and although for a time there seemed 
a little improvement, yet he finally became entirely 
deprived of sight.] 

Tenth mo. 20th. How short and uncertain is 
17 



194 memoirs of [1839 

life, how transient and vain are all things which 
appertain to this unstable and transitory state of 
being. Surely, a due consideration hereof is suffi- 
cient to humble the proudest heart, to bring down 
the loftiest imagination to a sense of our utter in- 
significance, and insufficiency to avert the arrow 
of the destroyer, or to shun the dispensations of 
an all-wise Providence, and to make us see if we 
have eyes to see, that unto Him all must submit, 
either in mercy or in judgment ; for He will be ac- 
knowledged Lord of lords, and Kings of kings — 
the sovereign ruler of heaven and earth. 

During the absence of my dear husband and son, 
my beloved sister, Mary Fish, came to stay with 
me, to be my company. I had contemplated not 
a little satisfaction in her society, she being of an 
exemplary life and conversation, but in a short time 
oup anticipated enjoyments were blighted by her 
removal by death. The stroke was sudden and 
unexpected to me, but I hope and comfortably be- 
lieve she was prepared ; that her peace was made 
with her God. I consider it a solemn warning to 
my soul to be also ready. Grant, O Lord, through 
thy adorable mercy, the fresh extendings of thy 
Holy Spirit, thy baptizing and purifying power, that 
I may be duly prepared for the solemn change 
which awaits me, and thus, through the power of 
thy redeeming love be permitted to unite with the 
just of all generations in forever celebrating thy 
holy name, with the Lamb, our Lord, who alone 
art worthy. 

Eleventh mo. 4th. I am very feeble, feeling at 
times as though nature was sinking, but I endeavor 
to hold fast on that power in which I have believ- 
ed. It is to the engrafted word in my own soul, 
which is alone able to keep the heart clean, that I 



1839] SARAH TUCKER. 195 

look for support and strength, hoping and believing 
that I shall experience Him to be not only my Al- 
pha but Omega, the bright and morning star. 

Twelfth mo. 25th. I have now been kept from 
meetings for more than two months, with but one 
exception, on account of feeble health, although at 
times pretty comfortable, yet not deemed suitable 
to go out, my complaint being soreness of lungs, 
distress across my chest, attended with cough and 
many other infirmities, which I hope, through the 
mercy and goodness of God patiently to endure. 
Many indeed are the tribulations, and various the 
conflicts, which are attendant on our pilgrimage 
here ; but it is a consolation to know and believe 
that help is laid on One that is mighty to save, 
able to sustain and succor through all ; and that 
He will be near so to do, as he is rightly sought 
after. So that although thus confined, sensibly 
suffering the privation of many precious seasons of 
meeting with my dear friends for the purpose of 
divine worship, as also visiting the sick, &c. yet 
I trust I am not altogether insensible of the many 
mercies and blessings, with which I am favored, 
beyond many of my dear fellow creatures, who 
doubtless are much more deserving than myself. 
A consideration of these things often humbles me, 
and bows my heart in grateful acknowledgements 
to the God and Father of all our mercies. 

I am sensible that the present is a day that loudly 
calls for deep indwelling with the Seed and Word 
of divine life ; a day in which I believe the foun- 
dations of many amongst us will be closely tried. 
O that we may faithfully attend to the ancient 
watch-word, " Every man to his tent, O Israel." 
God is thy tent, the only refuge of the righteous : 



196 MEMOIRS OF SARAH TUCKER. 

and all those who keep inwardly near to Him, 
watching unto prayer, He will keep by His own 
right arm of power, out of all the by-ways and 
crooked paths of the enemy. Those that continue 
faithful in the support and maintenance of that 
most precious faith once delivered to the saints, 
will be as the apple of his eye j and although many 
sore conflicts and deep spiritual baptisms may be 
theirs, on account of the sorrowful declension, both 
in principle and practice amongst us, yet will they 
be preserved, a little chosen band, (although fasting 
and mourning may often be their lot,) whose bread 
shall be given them, and whose waters shall be 
sure, experiencing their defence to be the munition 
of rocks. 

[The records made by this dear Friend ceased at 
this place. The latest date is about three months 
previous to her decease, but the last paragraph is 
without date, and is believed to have been written 
at a still later period.] 



197 



Testimony of Dartmouth Monthly Meeting of 
Friends, concerning Sarah Tucker, deceased. 

Our beloved friend, Sarah Tucker, was the 
daughter of Preserved and Sarah Fish, and was 
born at Portsmouth, in Rhode Island, the 14th of 
2d month, 1779. From the accounts she has left 
of her early life, it appears that in her young and 
tender years she was often visited with the inshin- 
ings of that Divine Light which is a reprover of 
all evil thoughts, words, and actions, and which 
will, when followed in faith and singleness of 
heart, lead its humble and devoted children into the 
way of truth and righteousness. And although at 
times she appeared, in some degree, to have in- 
dulged in the vanities of life ; yet, as she arrived 
at more mature years of understanding, she was 
mercifully favored to witness an overcoming of 
these things, and to seek for a nearer acquaintance 
with her Divine Master, having experienced the 
truth of this saying of our Lord and Saviour, 
Jesus Christ, " Except a man deny himself, and 
take up his daily cross, he cannot be my disciple." 
Nevertheless, deep were her baptisms, and various 
were the conflicts of spirit through which she had 
to pass, before she could thus give up to follow 
the leadings of the Spirit of Truth, in the way of 
its requirings. About the twenty-first year of 
her age, she applied to, and became a member of 
Westport Monthly Meeting, within the limits of 
which she then resided, having at that time been 
convinced of the truth of the principles of Chris- 
tianity, as held by Friends. About the twenty- 
fourth year of her age, she first appeared in the 
work of the ministry, at Portsmouth, having in 
the mean time returned to her native place. 
17* 



198 

The prospect of this weighty service brought 
with it fresh conflicts and probations ; but by en- 
deavoring to dwell near and feel after the Source 
and Fountain of all good, she was enabled on this, 
as on other occasions, to resign herself into the 
forming hand of the Lord, who calleth and quali- 
fied the members of his militant Church, to fill 
the various stations therein as seemeth Him meet ; 
and without whose call and qualification vain are 
the brightest talents, or the most ardent desire to 
do good and promote the cause of truth and right- 
eousness in the earth. In the year 1813, she was 
married to our beloved Friend, James Tucker, who 
survived her nearly four years, and has left his 
testimony of her worth and Christian example. 

Soon after her marriage she became a member 
of this meeting, and continued so until her de- 
cease. She traveled considerably abroad in the 
work of the ministry, both in this and some of the 
other Yearly Meetings, to the satisfaction of 
Friends where she labored ; as appeared by the re- 
turning certificates with which she was furnished 
by those whom she visited ; and was also a num- 
ber of times engaged in visiting the families of 
Friends, in her own and neighboring Monthly 
Meetings, to their satisfaction. She was sound in 
doctrine ; her ministry was weighty and edifying, 
waiting for the openings of Divine truth, zealously 
engaged to arouse the lukewarm and indifferent to 
a deeper indwelling, and to an experimental knowl- 
edge of the regenerating power of the grace of 
God, which bringeth salvation, and to enforce the 
necessity of being born again, not of corruptible, 
but of the incorruptible Seed and Word of God, 
which liveth and abideth forever. 

She was deeply concerned for the support of all 
our Christian testimonies, firmly believing them to 



199 

be established in the Truth, and which neither 
time, nor the specious pretences of those who seek 
for an easier way than through the furnace of trial 
and affliction, can ever impair or alter. Though 
often deeply humbled under a sense of her own 
un worthiness and short-comings, yet, at times, she 
was favored to see, and her faith strengthened 
in believing, that she had not followed cunningly 
devised fables, but the living and unchangeable 
truth ; and that although the Lord often sees meet 
to prove his servants, and permits them to be tried 
as to an hair's-breadth, yet such trials tend to their 
greater purification and growth in the Truth, and 
prove their trust and confidence in Him. 

Her health, naturally feeble, became, as she ad- 
vanced in life, much impaired, being often visited 
with sickness ; yet when of ability she was diligent 
in the attendance of our religious meetings, both for 
worship and discipline, often sitting through them 
in much bodily weakness; and though frequently 
confined to the house or her room for months to- 
gether, her concern for the welfare of the Church,, 
and her solicitude for the proper administration of 
its discipline, was in no degree lessened. In the 
spring of the year 1840 she was seized with a fe- 
ver : having for some months before been in feeble 
health, it soon became manifest that the disease 
was more than her feeble frame could long endure. 
Her bodily sufferings, though at times great, were 
borne with patience and resignation j and her mind 
seemed stayed upon that Almighty Arm, which 
can alone support in the hour of need. She im- 
parted much tender counsel and advice to her 
children ; and, after taking an affectionate leave of 
her family, she quietly departed this life, the 23d 
of 3d month, 1840, aged sixty-one, and having 
been a minister about thirty-seven years. 



200 

"And they that be wise shall shine as the 
brightness of the firmament, and they that turn 
many to righteousness as the stars, for ever and 
ever." 

Signed on behalf and by direction of the 
Monthly Meeting aforesaid, held in Dartmouth. 
22dot 3d month, 1848. 

THOMAS K. WILBUR. > ni , 
ALICE WILBUR, 



>/ 



201 



Testimony of Dartmouth Monthly Meeting q 
Friends, concerning James Tucker, deceased. 

The removal by death of our beloved friend, 
James Tucker, being sensibly felt to be a loss to 
this part of the militant Church, we feel engaged 
to furnish a short testimony concerning his exem- 
plary life and zealous labors for the promotion of 
truth and righteousness amongst us, and to encour- 
age survivors to follow him, as he endeavored 
to follow Christ. He was born in Dartmouth, 
Massachusetts, the 27th of 4th month, 1777. His 
parents, John and Rhoda Tucker, were members 
of our religious society, in good esteem, his moth- 
er being a worthy elder for many years. They 
manifested, by precept and example, much solici- 
tude for their children's right advancement in the 
Truth, which probably contributed in some degree 
to form that religious character in the subject of 
this memoir, which was so observable in him in 
after life, although, when quite young, he was of 
a lively turn of mind. In the twentieth year of 
his age, he was married to Phebe, daughter of 
Benjamin and Sylvia Tucker, of Dartmouth, to 
whom he was an affectionate companion until her 
decease, which occurred on the 20th of 10th 
month, 1810. 

As he advanced in years he was preserved from 
sitting down contented in an outward profession, 
and became engaged to press forward to experience 
fellowship and communion with " the Father and 
with the Son ;" and continuing to grow in grace 
and in the saving knowledge of our Lord and Sa- 
viour Jesus Christ, the talents with which he was 
intrusted became sanctified, and he was qualified 
to fill, with Christian propriety and meekness, such 



202 

stations as were assigned him in the Church. 
When about thirty years of age he was appointed 
to the station of an elder, which he filled to the 
satisfaction of Friends. He was an unslumbering 
watchman on the walls of our Zion, being enabled 
to discern the approach of the enemy, and faithful 
in sounding the alarm. In 1813 he was married to 
his second wife, Sarah Fish, daughter of Preserved 
and Sarah Fish, of Portsmouth, Rhode Island, 
with whom he lived in near affection until her de- 
cease, which took place 23d of 3d month, 1840. 
He manifested a deep concern for the best welfare 
of his children, and they were often admonished 
by him to choose the good part. 

When of ability he was diligent in the attend- 
ance of religious meetings, and encouraged his 
family in the performance of the same duty. He 
possessed a sound discriminating mind, had a re- 
markably clear perception of the right administra- 
tration of the discipline of the church, and appear- 
ed concerned that all things might be transacted 
in good order, agreeably to the mind of Truth. 
Benevolence, sympathy and genuine hospitality 
were conspicuous traits in his character. The 
poor were often remembered by him and their 
wants relieved. He evidently derived much sat- 
isfaction from having an opportunity to entertain 
his friends, and in an especial manner those who 
were laborers in the cause of Truth. Much more 
might with truth be said. Our object is not to 
eulogize the man, however worthy ; but to mag- 
nify the great and excellent name of Him, who 
"giveth gifts unto men," He devoted much of 
his time to reading the Holy Scriptures and the 
writings of Friends ; and has been heard to say 
that he had derived much benefit therefrom. He 
was sound in doctrine and concerned to hold fast 



203 



without wavering, that " faith which was once de« 
livered to the saints," and for which our early 
Friends suffered so deeply. The introduction of 
unsound principles into our once united Society, 
occasioned him much painful exercise, especially 
towards the latter part of his life. He was favor* 
ed to see clearly that if the advocates of the un- 
sound views which were spread abroad, still con- 
tinued to give them and their authors support, it 
would, as in former days in some of the other 
Yearly Meetings, produce a separation in the So- 
ciety, if indeed there should be any remaining who 
felt bound to the law and the testimony. In the 
latter part of the 11th month, 1843, our beloved 
Friend took a heavy cold, which settled on his 
lungs, and produced much bodily suffering ; yet 
his mind was very much stayed in the quiet, and 
he expressed to those about him an entire resigna- 
tion to the Divine will. 

He at one time with earnestness said, there is 
nothing but the truth that will stand, and I have 
been seeking it from a child ; and after a short 
pause, a friend that was present, saying to him. 
" Thou hast not the least doubt but thou wilt 
attain that which thou hast long been seeking 
after? *' He replied, " I can say as my wife said 
to me, < I can look upon death near, without any 
alarm. J " 

In the course of his sickness, many friends called 
to see him, which gave him great satisfaction. 
When near his close he could converse but little 
so as to be distinctly understood, in consequence 
of having a very sore throat and mouth. He grad- 
ually grew weaker until the evening of the 17th 
of 12th month, 1843, when he departed this life in 
the 67th year of his age. As he was generally 
respected and beloved, so his removal from works 



204 



to rewards was deeply felt by his survivors ; but 
we have consolation in believing that our loss is 
his eternal gain. 

Signed on behalf and by direction of Dartmouth 
Monthly Meeting of Friends, held at Dartmouth, 
22d of 3d month, 1848. 

THOMAS K. WILBUR, ) n , . 

ALICE WILBUR. C series. 



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